We’ve all been in a bad movie and heard zingers delivered at the ludicrous action on screen, ala MST3K. What are some memorable ones you’ve delivered or heard?
During Batman and Robin, Alicia Silverstone as Barbara dashes into Wayne Manor and runs toward the elderly Michael Gough as Alfred. A patron in front of me yelled, “My God, she’s gonna knock him over!”
And not at the screen, but from one patron to another… At The Phantom Menace, when the LucasFilm logo appeared, a stereotypical fan near me stood and pumped both fists into the air and screamed “YES!” at the top of his lungs. From the rear of the theater there came a middle-aged countrified drawl, “Shut the fuck up, you damn nerd!”
After the movie, the enthusiastic fan appeared numb and in shock, and I could not help but approach and ask what he thought of the movie. He just mumbled something about “waiting fifteen years for this,” and shuffled away.
That’s funny? I would have been extremely annoyed to have a movie (yes, even Bathman and Robin) interrupted by such rude drivel.
It is almost as stupid as the audience member during the remake of Dawn of the dead who said during the end credits on the boat when the heroes opened the cooler to find the zombie head, “THAT’S A ZOMBIE HEAD!” No fucking shit, thanks for your astute observation, dumbass.
It’s many, many years ago. My college roommate and I took buses across town to the one theater that was showing the new sf film THX 1138. We’re all alone in the theater except for a father who brought his two young daughters.
We thought the daughters, both under 10, might be a problem, but they were quiet and respectful throughout the film until Robert Duvall is put into the white-on-white prison. Then one of the girls says, “They put him in nowhere. How can you escape from nowhere?”
You go, girl. Best comment I ever heard in a theater or ever expect to.
Only a couple of times I inspired to shout out something in a movie. Usually I hate talking, but both times the comments were necessary.
The movie was being shown at a hotel. One of their ballrooms had been converted into a theater and rows were set up. The film was free, so people were always coming and going. And although the theater was dark enough, it was pretty bright outside. So whenever people entered or left, the light came in, and made it difficult to watch. Bad enough. But every time the door opened, this woman in the audience would shout out, “Close the do-or.”
“Close the do-or.”
“Close the do-or.”
“Close the do-or.”
Finally, I shouted out, “Did you come to watch the movie or the door?”
I live near Stanford, and there’s a student-run film series there where they show movies that many people have already seen, so there’s always a lot of talking and so forth. Several of us went to see Bring It On, one of my favorite B-movies, and there’s a scene where Kirsten Dunst’s character is spending the night at Eliza Dushku’s character’s house, and as they’re lying in bed next to each other, everyone in the theater started chanting “Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! Spoon!”. It was hilarious.
A friend of mine went to see the Disney version of Hercules, and at a key dramatic moment when (I think) the boat is descending into the depths of hades, a small child yelled out “I don’t like this house!”
In Sony’s Godzilla, after the Giant Lizard has been lured to his unfortunate fate with a big ol’ pile of fish, he collapses in front of nerdy scientist guy (sorry, I can’t remember the character’s name or who played him), I noted the look on said Lizard’s face, leaned over to my mother’s ear and whispered “I thought we had a relationship!”
I wasn’t there, but I have always been partial to Harlan Ellison’s anecdote about how one big, bad black dude pitches another motormouth black dude over a theater balcony for talking during a movie during a screening of HOLD THAT TIGER. It’s funny and sick on multiple levels. It’s Part 2. of The Three Most Important Things In Life from “Stalking The Nightmare/”
In the movie The Fly where Geena Davis’s character hugs Brundlefly, this woman shouts out, “Uh, uh! No way honey! There ain’t enough love in this world to make me do that!”
While I don’t remember any of the lines, but I managed to keep an entire theater in stitches as we suffered through Warlock 2.
Probably the best one off line I ever did was in Lost Boys where they’re all about to clobber the vampires, when the mother walks in and demands to know what’s going on. At which point, without even realizing what I was doing, I shouted, “Oh, shut the fuck up you bitch.” Practically the entire audience fell out of their seats laughing.
We were at La Bamba on a team trip, and we were with our coach, who was a Ritchie Valens fan growing up. Dollar theater, the whole team and a couple other people.
And the key climactic moment comes, and my coach stands up and yells in a sobbing, pleading voice,
Ritchie, don’t get on that plane!
I fell out of my chair laughing. I always think that now whenever I see that movie.
The roommate and I went to a late show of Van Helsing on opening night. After spending the entire movie quietly mocking it to one another we get to the final scene where:
Anna’s face appears in the clouds at her funeral. Absolutely unable to restrain myself I say, in a weepy incredulous voice. “Mufasa?”
The entire, fairly packed theatre, cracked up laughing.
The best I ever heard was during a showing of “Superman.” If you remember, Lois asks Supe what color her panties are, and Supe can’t tell her, because there is lead in the planter. After she moves aside, he says “Pink.”
Later, as they were flying through the clouds, she lets go of Supe’s hand, and falls. At that point, someone in the audience shouted out “Brown!”
In Star Trek: Generations when William Shatner’s name came up on the beginning credits, one lone guy clapped his hands and cheered in a sarcastic manner. That cracked up the theatre.
In the Travolta flick Phenomenon when the title first rolled across the screen, one guy sung the “do doo be-do-do” part of the Muppets Mahna-Mahna song. There was a delayed reaction for about 5 seconds for people to get the joke and then we all laughed.
In the original Dawn of the Dead, during one scene where some zombies are breaking down a door, an ex-friend shouted out, “Can I interest you in some literature?”
You know that moment in Star Wars 2: When Clones Attack when Natalie Portman crests the hill before Hayden Christiansen rides in on the deer tick? That’s a real good place to sing about how the hills come alive with the sound of music. Or so I thought while watching with fellow employees the night before it opened.
Local theater had a month-long samauri film festival ending with Seven Samauri – the three and a half hour version. Anyhow, as the opening credits were flashing on the screen, all in unsubtitled kanji, the audience started alternately cheering and booing. We hadn’t a clue what who it was – third assistant clapper loader for all we knew – but it passed the time until the actual movie started and then we quieted down.
When I saw Kill Bill: Volume 1 a middle-aged to aging Grady (from Sanford & Son) lookalike who was either deranged or stoned or some combination kept talking to the screen throughout the movie. I was thinking of reporting him but he was actually funny. My favorite moment was during the scene when Uma Thurman fights the Crazy 88.
[spoiler]She has killed the entire bodyguard force except for one young man who, holding his samurai sword, eyes her while looking terrified, his sword trembling. It’s clear he’d rather run away than fight.
Crazy Grady, who’s been talking constantly and yelling periodically, cries out: “Shit motherfucker, run! Git yore ass outta there, motherfucker, that bitch crazy! Shit! Ain’t like nobody gone tell you a pussy- they all dead.”[/spoiler]
I was at the premier of Fellowship of the Ring. The whole theater was geeked out and wired. When the movie finally started, there was no sound. :eek: After about five minutes of yelling, someone finally went out and got the theatre people to turn it off and get it fixed. Well, when the movie stopped, the screen flashed back to the ads they usually play between shows. It just so happened that the ad on the screen was for some dress store, and showed some lovely young model in a dress. I instantly yelled out, “WOW! Frodo’s HOT!” and the whole theatre started laughing.
The weird thing is that I would NEVER do something like that. It just came out of me without me thinking about it at all.
I went with a friend to see Jurassic Park in theaters when it first came out. I don’t remember all the characters’ names, but for one. When one of the women runs into a shed to get away from the velociraptors, an arm reaches out from behind her and lands comfortingly on her shoulder. She sighs in relief: “Oh. Arnold.” And turns…
…only to find the arm is indeed Arnold’s, except that it’s disembodied :eek: At that moment I turned to my friend and said, “Uh Oh! It’s ARMold!”
insert “bad pun” noise here, with gratuitous groans
