Best Olympic Jokes/One Liners

Apparently the maid I hired to clean my house was only second best. She just walked off with the silver.

During the 100 meter dash, the German referee fired his starting pistol, and the entire French team surrendered.

Recycled from this thread, because I’m too lazy to think of another one:

So does Anna Pavlova ring anyone’s bell?

I think the best actual joke used in this olympics was Bob Costas’s comment during the opening ceremony:

“Oedipus killed his father and married his mother, a situation that hardly ever works out well.”

My best one liner was one I actually heard broadcast during the 2000 Sydney games, one commentator to another, during women’s weightlifting coverage:

“I saw her snatch this morning, and it was perfect.”



(For the Winter Games)
Our janitor loves the curling matches. It’s the only sport where the guy with the broom can be a hero.