Okay, okay, we know that you think the whole Dan Savage Santorum thing is immature and beneath one’s dignity, whatever. Go find another thread to Santorum up.
That said, I thought we could collect the best Santorum headlines while they’re still around.
Entry number one, from the New York Times: Santorum Sticks to a Bare-Bones Style.
I’m stealing this one from another thread, but I about Santorumed my pants when I read this:
Yep, that’s the one I wanted to mention. If there is a better one out there I’ve yet to see it.
Yes, yes he sure does
What’s an “Alabama three-way”? Two perverts and a possum.
Santorum denounces Obama during Cumming rally!
Yep. Can see the masturbation now. “Oh, Jesus! Oh, I love you! Oh, screw Obama and his black bones!” 
Wink wink nudge nudge say nooooo more!
The first words of that article:
Santorum vows to wipe stain from American politics
Santorum policy positions not just froth
Santorum detail-oriented but not anal
I had to doctor the headline to fit OP’s criterion, and the news source is only slightly more trustworthy than FoxNews, but the article itself may be amusing enough to mention:
“… Santorum … Comes Out Of His Mouth”
I have a theory that using the phrase “Santorum surge” in a headline or text has become something of a fad for copywriters… I’ve seen it in the New York Times and the Philadelphia Inquirer in the past few weeks. Also, check out CBS News, the Chicago Sun-Times, and USA Today…
I especially liked it in combination with the next clause, “Appeals to Hard Right”. 
Santorum campaign leaks a damaging story
Santorum dribbles to end of campaign
Santorum explodes on the stump
Santorum to Puerto Rico: Speak English if you want statehood:
There are, I suppose, good arguments one might make against statehood for a non-English-speaking-majority territory – if nothing else, it would break all precedent, from the beginning of the Republic; and it would require re-examination and redefinition of what the U.S. is, what it is to be American, what is our national culture and what are its outer limits, and whether a territory/people can ever be part of it that does not have a Britain-derived culture and never will, that, as a whole, will never assimilate to the larger American culture as individual immigrants to the mainland eventually do.
But, Santorum cannot seem to think of any relevant arguments, he has to go all RW-constitutionalist and appeal to the authority of the “federal law” (which, after all, can usually/often/sometimes (depending on Congressional party strengths) be changed if a POTUS wants it, so, for a presidential candidate, just citing the federal law doesn’t end the discussion).
And make it up, apparently.
Well, considering English culture, the country has a monarch as head of Church, head of state and head of the armed forces. I’d say that Thomas Paine is a big enough deviation from that to make Puerto Rico’s additional characteristics pretty minor in comparison.
Not to mention that demographic changes (such as from hispanic Catholicism to Anglo Protestantism) have induced rapid cultural changes that yielded territories such as Texas (well, after some quibbling).
If I were Puerto Rico I’d take the opportunity to secede and become an autonomous anarcho-syndicalist state.
Santorum Promises Broad War On Porn.
So, Santorum’s johnson isn’t that long. It’s okay, Ricky-poo. Some women (and men) prefer width.
Some dedicated journalist out there has collected all the Santorum headlines.