Because of two unfortunate (and totally unexpected) events this month, I have no money in my bank account until next pay check (two weeks from now), I’ve been eating the assorted canned goods for the last few days, but yesterday morning marked the end of my canned corn.
So my question is, what is the best way to exist over a short term period with no food? I have water, and I would guess I should be drinking lots? I do work full time, when I get home, should I just try to sleep? I like eating, so I imagine I will be pretty hungry by the end of the two weeks, any suggestions on how to take my mind off it?
(I should say, before anyone asks, no, I do not have any family I can beg/borrow from, and no friends close enough who I can ask for free eats, and I did try the food bank, but I was told that because I’m not on social assistance I cannot use their service, and yes, I realize this is a pretty dumb situation to have gotten myself into)
Two days without food is easy for me, but two weeks is another matter. Vitamins are a good idea when unusual diets are a necessity.
In my days as a starving student, a donation at the blood bank paid $20, which was enough for a short binge at the grocery store. I don’t know about sperm banks, but they may be an option.
Big grocery stores throw away lots of food daily. Some will take precautions to prevent “dumpster divers” from recovering it.
I know of one food bank that gives the dented cans and items that are past their expiration date to the volunteer workers. If your full-time job permits, you could ask about opportunties for volunteers.
Ask your boss for a $20 advance on your paycheck. That’s enough to buy enough dry rice to keep you going for two weeks. Rice is the cheapest you can eat.
Any coworkers you can ask for a small loan? $20 isn’t much.
I know this is sneaky and underhanded, but in lieu of borrowing money, you may be able to find local grocery stores with a lackadaisical approach to the “free sample” trays.
Or, barring that, many banks offer free doughnuts in the morning and toss out their extras at the end of the day. You may be able to score some Krispy Kremes.
I do not recommend visiting the same place two days in a row.
Some churches, especially larger ones, have church sponsored food banks; they are usually not as bound by the rules as the state-run food bank. You could call a few churches and ask.
If tough-gutted, some amphetamine would help you along - though cigarettes may become a problem. If that’s too expensive, spaghetti with honey is surprsingly sustaining. But it does taste like spaghetti & honey…
Your situation is described perfectly by one of my favorite fictional philosophers, Lazarus Long:
“People who go broke in a big way never miss any meals. It is the poor jerk who is shy a half slug who must tighten his belt.” –The Notebooks of Lazarus Long
You’re in luck… the experience and wisdom of an ex-starving college student is yours at no cost.
Rice and beans is an excellent recommendation… I lived on rice and beans for years. Potatoes are another good choice. Baked with some margarine and lots of salt and pepper. Also, those 25-cent boxes of macaroni and cheese make for tasty poverty food.
There are often local churches and shelters that will give out a bag of groceries to needful families once a month. Search on the internet or call the local welfare office. They used to consist of a couple of cans of veggies, a can of tuna, a loaf of bread, and a loaf of government cheese, and a bag of rice and/or beans.
It’s not much, but it’ll keep you from starving for a week.
Alternately, you can panhandle for change. You’d be suprised how much you can make panhandling.
When you make a couple bucks, head over to the 99-cent store for groceries. That’s your best bet for cost-effective food. The best chain I know of is called “The 99-cent Only Store.” They have an extensive grocery selection.
Or, appeal to the pity of women. Coworkers, friends, families, neighbors… that hot chick in the next block. If you tell them you are hungry and have no food, odds are you can find one who will take pity and feed you. But don’t become a leech… let one feed you and then move on. If they come to you and offer food later, then that’s fine.
That is very generous of all of you, I am touched that you would offer that to someone you don’t know, you folks are incredible…but I don’t feel right about taking advantage of your generosity.
I’m a gal, so I don’t know about the sperm bank (plus Canadian, I don’t know if we have those here), the free samples are a great idea, the only place around this town that I have seen that does that is Wal-Mart occasionally, so I am for sure going to check that out (they may not notice if I “double dip” since they have so many customers).
I tried the cash advance on my paycheck, company wouldn’t go for it unfortunately, but they did let me pick up more hours this week, so when I get paid it’ll be a bigger check.
I will try the church, that is a great idea that I didn’t think of, we don’t have any shelters locally, but there is a church less than 20 miles away.
strange that a message board restores my faith in humanity
but anyway, in my idiotic quest to be self sufficient, i have come up with a game plan for exactly this situation. QFC sells packets of top ramen for as little as EIGHT CENTS EACH (this also factors into my foreign-aid plan, but thats another story.) you can also attend support classes of things that you need no support for, these generally have cookies and coffee (got this idea from fight club). if you have the nuts, (or the ovaries in your case), you can explain your situation to people at churches and other charitable places, and its likely you will be given some money or food.
good luck, and god speed
wonders if that universal healthcare applies to starvation
You don’t say where you are, but these are links to community food banks in Ontario. They are private, volunteer organizations. Going to them for help is not like registering for welfare. If there’s nobody close to you on the list, one of the larger ones could probably direct you to an appropriate place.
Some churches also have soup kitchens where they serve meals (usually a dinner once a week). You can volunteer to help in the kitchen and get a free meal for your services if you don’t want to just take their charity, although I’d say you’re certainly entitled to it.
If you don’t “take advantage” of my generosity, what the hell is the point of me being generous.
If if makes you feel better, give twenty dollars to the food bank next month. For now, we have to get started pretty fast, since even PayPal is going to take a few days. Pride is foolish, when no judgement is being offered.
I second the “free sample” approach. Sam’s Club down here has 4 or 5 sample stations around the store. 2 laps would equal a complete meal: Pizza section, sausage bite, mac’n’cheese, apple slices, tuna salad on a cracker.
I won’t Paypal, but I’ll snail mail you a check for $20 tomorrow if you email me tonight. Now we’ve got you up to a food budget of (what? I haven’t been keeping count) around $70-90.
And all I’d ask is that you do something for somebody else, down the line, when you can.
For the immediate (tomorrow, the day after) future, tell your friends of your need. They will likely respond with, if not a Quarter Pounder, a dinner invite. Do the dishes and take out their trash. It’ll be a bonding experience.
