Best way to blow up the Pyramids?

Well it had to happen eventually, the international community has decided it has finally had enough of the Pyramids sitting there, mocking them, like a giant middle-finger to the rest of the world, and by unanimous vote* and over the objections of the Egyptians they’ve decided to blow them up.

They’ve decided to make this pay per view and a bit more entertaining than just dismantling them with jackhammers and trucks or letting busloads of tourists tramp up and down them all day so they’re going to use military weapons to do so.

How effective would an airstrike be against them? Or surround them by tanks and start blasting away? Basically what would be the best combination of efficiency and entertainment value?

I used to think a nuclear weapon was a ‘destroy everything’ device until I read about how carbon-coated spheres were emplaced at the centre of one test and were subsquently found some distance away scorched but basically unharmed. So how effective would they be against what is basically a giant lump of rock?

*well except for Chile who doesn’t like the way everyone is now eyeing the Easter Island giant heads

**yes this was inspired by the current shenanigans in the USA regarding the removal of historic statues, I have my own opinions on that but its not what the thread is about

I think the answer would be an explosion from inside. Either a well placed charge or maybe a bunker buster.
This has been a WAG brought to you by Bobbitchin’:D:D

Anything but a nuclear bomb going off underneath the Great Pyramid would take too long and be way too boring.

Finally, we get some practical use out of the Sedan Test.

Similar to how effective an airstrike would be against a natural mountain?


BTW, there has been at least one douchenozzle who did attempt to destroy the pyramids.

No bomb necessary - just put up a sign “Free rocks - please help yourself”. Gone within a week or two, I reckon.

Exploding sheep.

Although I’m not sure if Egypt has sheep. So, exploding crocodiles.

I was going to suggest at least as a trial effort some of the intestinal gas from our Dear Leader (post mortem, of course) but I doubt it would be sufficient. Might be fun to try, though! :smiley:

No offense, but these ideas are all fucking boring. Nuclear bomb? So last century.

Here’s the plan:

Launch a missile with a small, dense payload. The trajectory is just right so that it re-enters orbit with a dazzling white hot tail and smashes into the pyramid with enough force to obliterate the whole thing.

Don’t blow them up.

Re-route the Nile so it undermines them and they collapse. the Nile’s only 5 miles from the Giza complex.
You’d probably say that’s too boring, though.

And how big would the missile payload have to be to obliterate several million tons of rock from a sub-orbital entry? (Hint: big.)

Crash cars into them? :dubious:

It is interesting that most photos of the pyramids (even modern ones) are framed to make it look like they are located deep in a sweeping desert, possibly with a few Bedouin and camels in the photo to imply the long and arduous journey that you have to take to reach them. Then there is this, showing that now, they are basically a theme park in the middle of a city.

Not if we do the re-routing with a well-timed series of interwoven nuclear explosives and orbital bombardments.

Do we just want to collapse them, or turn them to dust?

They would probably collapse just fine with a shit-ton of ANFO placed inside. Lots of rock fragments and giant blocks left scattered around, though.

Turning them to dust would take a lot more explosive, placed a lot more carefully. You could probably do it with a few thousand tons of TNT or C4.

No, no, no. Put up a sign that says “Rocks $25 each” then don’t guard it well.

Or re-trigger the geysers that were used to build them. (For those that don’t know, that’s a reference to a train wreck of a thread that I refuse to go looking for.)


(cough, cough)

They are almost entirely solid inside. A collapse of the empty spaces wouldn’t be much of a collapse at all.

Yes, but let’s figure out how big!

Each cubic foot of tungsten traveling at fast-meteorite speed (100km/s) has a kinetic energy of roughly 2.5 terajoules.

How many terajoules do you think we need? Or is it conceivable to have it traveling much faster?