Are the cap stones limestone? Could we use vinegar? Make it from a couple billion rotting apples.
Nice.
The semi-serious answer is an ICBM.
The reentry is pretty spectacular to watch: https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&tbm=isch&source=hp&q=icbm+reentry
As is the detonation: https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=nuclear+explosion
The Great Pyramid weighs roughly 6 megatonnes. The Sedan nuclear test dug a crater whose contents a few seconds before had weighed roughly 11 megatonnes: https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=sedan+crater
That crater is ~50 percent larger than the pyramid’s base is wide.
The warhead was more or less equivalent to the type formerly deployed on early model Minuteman missiles. Those are all disassembled now, but that’s not an insurmountable obstacle as long as we’re not in a hurry.
Bottom line:
There’s not much doubt we can eliminate all of the pyramid with one round and put most of it into the upper atmosphere to boot. The first shot is going to also do a number on the smaller nearby pyramids and the encroaching town. Those things won’t necessarily be fully vaporized or pulverized, but the consequences will still be pretty spectacular.
If we really want to obliterate all of the Giza complex it might take a second shot. I wonder if we can set the whole thing to music like they do for modern fireworks displays? If so, what tune should we pick?
Back when I was in the biz we called the Variable yield - Wikipedia feature when set to its highest position the “crowd pleaser.”
The PPV revenues ought to be yuge. WWE got nuthin’ on *this *spectacle. A real crowd pleaser for sure. Do NOT forget your eclipse glasses; I hear they’re available cheap this week.
We may still have some Titans in Arkansas.
Music? Ride of the Valkyries.
Forgot to mention: the Sedan device was set to ~12% yield vs. the eventual Minuteman warhead. 8X the power won’t make 8X the hole. But it’ll still be a *lot *bigger than Sedan was. This isn’t hard.
Put Samsung batteries in them.
Somebody really needs to get Ben Carson a copy of Civ 6. The granary thing was only in Civ 2.
Declare them to be racist symbols. Somebody will find a way to remove them.
Given recent Egyptian history, simply get the word out that they’re actually ancient Coptic Christian temples. The locals will take care of that destroying business just fine.
Best of all, once the word gets back to the US that these things are being destroyed to harm Christians, we’ll do something else spectacular in response. But it’ll be hard to predict just what we’ll do. So it’ll be hard to sell tickets for this second act.
What makes you think their iconoclasm would be limited to Christian monuments?
This is what I think about with all this modern destruction of confederate monuments–it is a crime against the future. When a new pharaoh would come into power, it was common to destroy the monuments to past pharaohs if they weren’t revered by the new pharaoh, including chiseling their names off of walls. This means that knowledge of Egyptian history is much poorer than it could have been if the Egyptians didn’t periodically try to erase their own past. And future historians (who are more dispassionate about the emotional meaning of our current statuary and are concerned about the historical facts of them) will be the poorer because Americans are currently in their own phase of iconoclasm.
Guys, Pterry Pratchett wrote a whole book on how to do this. It was called, appropriately, Pyramids. Had something to do woth storing up and releasing large amounts of time, if I recall. Also you have to spell everything with an initial P.
Seriously?
IMO **Darren **is right. As far as future history is concerned. And if current Confederate apologist people weren’t using these historical things as tacit support for ongoing crimes and discrimination against non-whites then his point ought to carry the day.
But right now we have two problems, not just one. We need to stop the hate and discrimination and we’d *like *to preserve the historical artifacts as historical artifacts for posterity. Not as a sign of who we are today. But as an accurate record of who we were then. Warts and all.
But when need-to-have collides with nice-to-have, well we know which should win.
The other argument, which I made above, is that destroying statues now will do more to inflame Confederate resistance than it will calm racist tensions. We need effective ways to change the minds of ignorant white supremacists. Not ineffective ways that will make them crazier and more intransigent.
ISTM (and it’s admittedly an arguable point) that statue destroying is exactly the kind of symbolic act that encourages mindless emotional reactionaryism. Which is not the path to a calm rational equal future that we want for all our citizens.
My creed, Progressivism, will never win a propaganda war against ignorance and populism. We’re Spock to the other side’s raging Id. We can win, but only through patient persuasion and diligent education. Trying to fight the other guy’s fight in the other guy’s arena is planning to lose badly. So don’t do that.
Yes. Everyone is 100% serious here.
Yes as long as progressives continue to believe that their opinions are facts and that anyone who disagrees with them is irrational then they will never persuade people to their side.
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Not everything. Just everything that starts with a T.
After giving this some thought I believe an earthquake machine of the type implemented by Tesla is the needed. I know it will just make the pyramids crumble into a pile of broken stones, but if you’re dead set on blowing up you can plant a ton of explosives throughout the rubble make it rain rocks.
Well, the Pyramids are literal monuments to slaveholders, so of course progressives will never rest until they have been destroyed. This has been the plan all along. Of course it’s taking longer than we thought, only 4000 years behind schedule.
Oh, now that you’ve mentioned that kind of tech, we could just use HAARP. (Using AARP could also provide some entertainment value.)
If we really want to preserve our historical records for far future generations, making bronze statues is the worst way to go about it. They made all sorts of bronze artifacts during the bronze age and almost none of them survived, because the first thing people do when they come across a bronze artifact that they don’t care about is smash it up and melt it down.
Here’s what we do. We set up a factory to make granite blocks. Those millions of granite blocks are etched on all six sides with an encyclopedia’s worth of historical and scientific data, one page per side. Now, we could bury those blocks out in the desert and hope that future archaeologists will uncover them. But that’s risky, what if the site never gets found? So what you do is you pile these etched blocks in populated areas. And the local people see them sitting around, and so they use them as building materials. And when the house gets knocked over the blocks are still good and are re-used. This is how the Rosetta stone was preserved.
These granite blocks will last for thousands of years. A bronze statue of some guy nobody’s ever heard of will last only as long as it takes the barbarians to calculate the value of the bronze at current market value. But a granite block is just a granite block, you can use it as a construction material, but that’s about it.
So that’s what the goddam Egyptians should have done with all those blocks in the goddam pyramids, if they wanted future generations thousands of years later to have good historical record of ancient Egypt. Assholes.