There’s a fellow I know pretty well who is having a hard time right now. He has a medical condition that’s preventing him from working and requires fairly expensive meds. As a result, he’s starting to struggle financially.
I have some money that I would like to send him. It won’t solve all his problems, of course, but it will help him along. I’d like to send it anonymously – I think he might not be all that comfortable receiving money directly from me. Unfortunately, he doesn’t live anywhere near me – so it’s not like I could go to his house at 2 AM and stuff a money-filled envelope through his mail slot in the dead of the night.
I could easily get a postal money order and mail it. However, I’d like to be reasonably secure that he got it. I know the post office has online tracking options available, but will they send it without a return address on the envelope? Or will I end up having to answer questions under a bright light (it does, admittedly, sound suspicious).
I thought about setting up a Paypal account under a fictitious name. However, any possible legal issue aside, that probably wouldn’t work either. He’s not a big internet user and would probably (and rightly) look askance at any email telling him he has money waiting for him from an anonymous donor.
I don’t know anyone who lives in his area, so I can’t use a confederate to just drop it off at his house.
Since you’re basically talking about Matan B’seter – is he Jewish? Does he live in or at least near a Jewish community? Maybe you could get in touch with the local Rabbi and do this through the kehila
Don’t know if it’s relevant to your situation – but a thought
My suggestion was going to be to just drop some cash in an envelope and mail it to him, but I see you don’t want to go that route. If you wanted to track it, yes, you will need a return address. In fact, they’ll make you put a return address on any mail you bring in. Of course, I’ve never had them ask for an ID, so I don’t see why you couldn’t just make something up.
Send it registered, return receipt. You don’t put a return address on it. You don’t need a return address on the envelope. The return address is on the slip that is mailed back to you.
Registered mail, NOT CERTIFIED BUT REGISTERED is the way to go. That way he must sign for it and it tracked every step of the way. You could send money that way.
You don’t have to even go to the PO clerk. They have the forms, you fill it out and you just attached the forms and the return receipt to the envelope, go to the PO and use the machine and it gives you options, like “Registered” Yes/No, Return receipt: Yes/No, then it spits out the postage due. Slide your credit/debit card and the postage prints out.
I’ve done certified mail like this often. Registered is just using a different form.
How about mailing a Visa gift card instead of cash? My credit union offers them with a nominal $1 fee per card and it can be replaced if lost or stolen.
I popped in to suggest that as a way of sending the contribution. Still do the certified/registered thing, but maybe slightly less obvious (to a mail thief) than sending cash.
The problem with all of these is that if this guy is a good person, he will look askance at any of these solutions, with the possible exception of the lawyer. Anonymous money just doesn’t show up at people’s doorsteps. And if he has to use it because he has no choice, it might cause some anxiety that he’s getting into something that he might come to regret.
You said that he wouldn’t be comfortable getting the money from you. Is there someone you could give the money to that he would be comfortable receiving it from? Maybe someone older or someone he’d helped out in the past? It doesn’t have to be anyone who lives nearby, just someone who can call him, really. Anything else, I think, would raise the scam detector.
It’s like secret admirers. They’re a decent enough idea in theory, but absolutely horrible in practice.
I give to those in need often. I give it with a check in the collection plate at church and they then give it to whomever i indicate. And it can befor anyone in the community or more, and it goes on my giving record for a tax deduction.
The fact that he’s going through medical and financial difficulties is not a secret. I would think that if some money showed up in his mailbox with a note that said something to the effect of “We heard you’re having difficulties, hope this can help*,” I think he’d understand that it is what it is – people that know him care about him without necessarily wanting to be identified.
Would it identify you to have an intermediary in your area (a local Rabbi, perhaps) send the money (say, a cashier’s check) for you? That way you could have the security of knowing it was delivered but the anonymity you want.
I’m a bank teller…not sure how close a relationship you have with your bank, but it would be absolutely no problem to cut a cashier check (fee may be waived depending on the relationship) with the remitter listed as “Bank X” and mail it from the branch using certified mail. The check could be tracked, and easily verified by suspicious recipients by simply calling the bank. With the bank listed as remitter, payee would have no idea who sent it.
We like to go the extra mile for our clients…try explaining the situation to your branch manager and see what they can do for you.
Perhaps, perhaps. You know him better than I do, of course. It’s just that this is an eyebrow raising thing.
Option B might be to send this guy a gift that’s easily sold and that won’t have any sentimental value. Like an old, rare coin. If he’s in dire straits, then he’ll probably sell it. This avoids the awkwardness of just giving people money, but the downside is that he’ll either not sell it or sell it for far less than it’s worth.
I know I don’t have all the info, but I would probably just send the guy a check. If he cashes it, great, if he doesn’t, he doesn’t.
If you know of a specific place where he has a large balance (doctor, hospital, etc.), could you just pay off a chunk of it for him, anonymously? Send a gift card to wherever his prescriptions are coming from? Or even a gift card to a nearby grocery store, on the theory that money is funbglible?
I actually stared at that word for more than a few seconds, wondering why I’d never heard or seen it before, and marveling at how strange it looked in print, before I realized it was a typo. :smack:
That’s what I get for typing at that hour, after a long week of work, followed by my office holiday party, which included more than my one customary glass of wine.
