You didn’t say it simply, like I did. That’s why I said “to put it simply.”
Agree. And if someone is married, they are all the more off limits. Golden Rule; you wouldn’t want someone pursuing your spouse or BF/GF so don’t pursue someone else’s.
I grew up in the 80s when AIDS was a big issue in the west, ‘free love’ quickly became a relic and young people (none I knew) would sign puritanical contracts on maintaining their virginity until marriage. The people I grew up with generally (generally) had/have monogamous relationships, but many of those - one after the other, in sometimes quick succession. If two of my friends were caught having extra-relationship affairs they weren’t looked on kindly. We didn’t/don’t look at those who relished the era of free-love negatively, in fact I think many would be a bit jealous if they took the time to think about it.
Is every relationship “going steady”? I think the majority are, as marriage stats are pretty negative when you look at divorce rates.
As long as the relationship is committed, as specified in the OP, that’s the end of the issue for me. They’re off the market.
Even if they have some kind of polyamory/open relationship going on, they’re still off the market for me. To each their own. For myself, that’s not the kind of thing I want to get involved with.
I had a thread on this a few years ago: When did the distinction between “dating” and “going steady” disappear?
It is good not to pursue, but you can let someone who is in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship that you are potentially open if they ever break up and you happen to be single at the time.
But for married people, it is off limits.
That marriage certificate makes all the difference.
Who knows maybe other Dopers will think I am evil in thinking like this.
The only case in which it is ok is if you know from both parties that both of them agree it is ok. Otherwise you’re going beyond “my wife doesn’t understand me” and into “your wife doesn’t understand you” territory.
I wouldn’t call someone I’ve gone on a few dates with “my boyfriend”. By the time we call each other bf/gf, it’s an exclusive and public relationship.