Big Bird vs. Snuffleupagus: which kicks a**?

[green_bladder]

KNOCK him over, rather.

[Tristan]

*Originally posted by smam *
**I actually know the answer to this. My brother-in-law Bill is a cop and one time he was involved in a ‘bust’ on a gay brothel. Who should he find in one of the rooms bent over a sweaty pantomime horse? None other than Big Bird, who seemingly lives up to his name in more ways than one.
So everyone was cuffed, questioned and released. A short time later, letters were sent out summoning the ‘perps’ to appear in court.
Turns out Snuffy and Bird had been sharing an apartment for quite a long time, a one-bedroomed apartment if you get my drift.
Snuffy was always in the habit of opening Birds letters.
My Brother-in-law get the call-out , theres big trouble in the gay/muppet district of downtown, the neighbours are scared that someones going to get killed.
By the time Bill gets there the fight has spilled out onto the street.
Snuffy looked like he had a broken leg and slightly longer trunk, one of his eyelashes was stretched so it was sweeping the pavement, but other than that he was ok.
The ambulance never really got there quick enough, they assured Bill that the Heimelich manouvere was never going to work despite his strenuous efforts.
It’s just not that easy to make a grown man cough up a 7 foot bird costume, especially when most of the beak is protruding from his mouth whilst the two over-sized comedy feet are still sticking out his ass.

Snuffy 1 Big Bird 0 **

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

I have been totally slain. I’m just glad to learn that I’m not the only one that thinks like this. My brother and I have been writing a series of short stories wherin Sesame Street has totally devolved into a running gang war between the Muppets of Sesame Street and the Muppets of The Muppet Show.

Sunffy is a totally strung out Cokehead. His supplier, “Big Daddy”, aka Mohammad X, aka Big Bird has become the warlord that runs most of the Sesame Street gang. Elmo is a smack junkie, turning tricks for H. Oscar has shaved his entire body, and is now a full blown Nazi. Gonzo is the primary ‘good guy’, running guns to the much downtrodden humans.

If I can track them down, I’ll post them… or put up a website with the stories.

[Freyr]

This thread brought to you by the letter H and the number 8.

[Washte]

Snuffy!
Snuffy!
Snuffy!

Think about it… He has a trunk and size. All he has to do is reach out and wrap his trunk around that puny little birdy neck and tweak… bye bye burdy…

Big Bird always seemed an irritating twunt to me. Never liked him at all. Snuffy on the other hand, though a bit Eeyorish and whiny, didn’t put up with crap.

[Czarcasm]

Moving this to Cafe Society.

[Ethilrist]

Tristan: Have you seen the Muppet Christmas special where all the muppets, from Sesame Street, The Muppet Show, and Fraggle Rock, all meet up?

Ernie: Hello!
Fozzie: Hi, there!
Ernie: Hi! That starts with H! There! That starts with T!
Fozzie: Does everybody talk like that where you come from?
Ernie: Yes, actually, they do.

Miss Piggy is late.
Kermit: I’m a little worried.
Scooter: That’s one worried frog.
The Count: One! One worried frog!
Kermit’s nephew: I’m kinda worried, too.
The Count: Two! Two worried frogs!

I have to get a copy of that show…

Then there was the crossover memorial episode for Jim Henson where they spent the entire episode trying to figure out exactly who Jim Henson was; somebody put forward the idea that he was one of … those people… down there!