Ronald McDonald vs. Big Bird and Grimace vs. Mr. Snuffleupagus

The yellow bird and his best friend face off against the McDonald and his best friend.
Who would win in a fight:
Ronald McDonald fights Big Bird while Grimace takes on Mr. Snuffleupagus.
Who wins?

Easy one. BB and Mr.S try to be friends until RM shivs the Bird. All hell breaks loose as Mr. S loses his shit at seeing BB die, and stomps Grimace and Rotten Ronnie into purple and red goo respectively. You don’t mess with the Mastadon (or wooly mammoth as the case may be)…

I think Big Bird could totally fuck up Ronald. He’s just a clown, BB is a freaky giant canary with claws and a beak.

Likewise, Grimace is a big doofus with T-Rex arms. Snuffy would stomp him flat and trunk-whip him.

My God, your username is spot-on.

You read my mind!

The answer is clear.

Ronald McDonald’s smarter than Big Bird, so he wins. And Mr. Snuffleupagus was always intended to be imaginary when Jim Henson created him, so Grimace wins by default.

I was coming in here to give this answer, damn it. Anyway, the answer is obvious.

Does Ronald McDonald have magical powers?
Because that could change my vote

Ronald has magical powers in regards to smiles and burgers. He can’t defend himself from a velociraptor, which is basically what Big Bird is.
And snuffleumpagus would stomp Grimace like a horse kicking a rodeo clown in a barrel.

You’ve got to take Snuffleupagus out of the equation. Snuffleupagus is a depressive personality so playing some Fiona Apple should get him curled in a nice tight little ball while weeping inconsolably.

Nitpick: The adults on Sesame Street assumed Snuffy was imaginary because something or other always prevented them from seeing him in person. But Big Bird (and a few kids/celebrities) could always see him. (And everyone could see him after Season 17.)

Right on. I’m not sure exactly what Snuffy is, but he’s big ol’ critter and if he gets stompy, things get bad everybody near him.

More than a nitpick - it’s material to the question at hand. He was always real, just not believed in.

My money’s on Big Bird and Snuffleupagus. Where do you think “Snuff” got his name, anyway?

Alright, Ronald might escape - he is known to be deceitful and employ disguises. But he could never defeat BB and Snuff.

Snuff was retconned as being real, but was never intended to be real. But Jim Henson and the Sesame Street producers always intended for him to be imaginary. He’s meant to be imaginary.

And Big Bird has the mentality of a child. How’s that gonna help him against Ronald?

Grimace has evil at his core (his full name is The Evil Grimace after all), Ronald has magic powers and he also is always in control over every situation and always wins. I have no doubt that if it became necessary, Ronald would be capable of murder. Grimace would do whatever Ronald told him to. I don’t believe Snuffleupagus and Big Bird have it in them to kill. Ronald would scheme and plan his attack with cunning on a level that BB and Snuff are not mentally capable of. I think a lot of people may be voting with their heart on this one. Of course we’d all rather see Sesame Street kick McDonald’s ass, but in real life the good guys don’t always win.

Little kids don’t know when to stop and they don’t know their own limits. BB goes into a rage and shreds Ronald without even realizing the clown can’t come back from the dead.

And while Grimace v the Mammoth may be the slowest fight ever, I have to give it to the wooly stoner over the mutant stoner.

Ronald thinks quickly: Grimace McDonald's commercial - YouTube

But Big Bird?: Sesame Street: Big Bird and Snuffy Get the Picture - YouTube

Now tell me again how you expect him to beat Ronald.

Don’t confuse slow to act with the inability to break something.

I’m not. It’s just, it’s not all about brawn. It’s about brains too.