Well does he? Does he have magic powers he can call on at will like a big witch, or does he just exist in a magical land where magical things just “happen”.
Could Ronald McDonald’s magic powers defeat Harry Potters?
Yes, Ronald can conjure up an endless supply of mouth-watering hamburgers, which Harry will then eat in a frenzied orgy of American dining, then keel over from the ensuing cardiac arrest.
Alternately, Ronald can conjure up a metric-ass-ton of hamburgers to drop on Harry’s head, instantly killing him in an avalanche of greasy food.
Ronald also has the ability to reproduce himself and appear simultaneously in distant locations.
The real question is whether the Dementors would be a match against the wily Hamburgler.
Ah, but the real arch-mage of the fast food industry was Burger King!
Don’t forget Ron McD. can draw the golden arches in the air with a wave of his gloved fingers. This makes him a literal “Arch-Mage”
Hamburgler is iffy, but Grimmace would be a match for any Dementor. Remember, Grimmace is the milkshake guy, which would logically mean that he has an unlimited supply of chocolate.
But yes, Ronald has controllable magic. At the very least, he routinely draws the Arches in the air, and I believe I’ve seen him do things like stepping into a picture frame to enter the pictured scene.
The marvelous, magical Burger King did in fact have supernatural powers, but they were largely limited to sleight of hand tricks that any decent magician could perform.
Ronald McDonald has often performed supernatural stunts, but usually of the “sight gag” nature, of the sort of thing clowns often do.
Both corporate mascots repeatedly demonstrated the ability to teleport themselves (and a small number of children) to a location containing one of their respective franchise restaurants, as well as the ability to FIND said restaurant, regardless of circumstance. In short, if Ronald or Burger King happened to be on the Moon, say, or in the depths of the Amazon Jungle, they would both either be able to zero in on and find a nearby restaurant belonging to their corporate masters, or be able to teleport TO said restaurant.
Admittedly, it ain’t apocalyptic, or anything, but it sure beats pulling coins out of your ears.
Both mascots are relentlessly benign, however; it’s unlikely Ronald would ever find any reason to confront Harry Potter, although a happy meal deal wouldn’t be out of the question, especially with the release of the next Potter movie.
A Dementor would, of course, rip Ronald’s fluffy red-coiffed head off and gleefully stuff it down his gory throat-hole, naturally, unless Ronald had sufficient time to activate his *Teleport Without Error To Nearest McDonalds Location * ability.
I hear that to the tune of the Gabbo show on the Simpsons. So, could he do the hully-gully and imitiate Ben Scully?
Well, at least Ronald McDonald doesn’t show up next to you in bed like some kind of horrible morning-after experience…
Ronald can conjure up loathing and repulsion as if by magic. While Harry can only manage mild disinterest. (At least in this test subject.) Ronald McDonald is therefore more powerful and, unlike the fuss kicked up about Harry Potter, almost certainly in league with satan.
I suppose that would depend on how many Harry Potters we are discussing here.
I am so happy that we have an esteemed member of the SDSAB available to answer Life’s True Tough Questions.
I would think that tit for tat in effectiveness, Mayor McCheese and Cornelius Fudge would be about the same level of incompetance.
I would go along with Ronald having the ability to clog arteries to defeat his foes.
[QUOTE=rjung]
Yes, Ronald can conjure up an endless supply of mouth-watering hamburgers, which Harry will then eat in a frenzied orgy of American dining, then keel over from the ensuing cardiac arrest.
[QUOTE]
Harry could perform the Removus Carbohydratus spell to allow him to eat only the protein of the attack.
This is known as the ** Atkin’s Defense.** It is in Defending Yourself Against a 7 Course Meal Attack: The Culinary Ambush by Trey Buchet, Wizard Third Class.
Don’t forget: Nothing can kill the Grimace!
Grimance hasn’t been seen in quite sometime. I think his agent told him to get a younger, hipper look and he did some plastic surgery, changed his name and became Barney.
*I loved you.
You kicked me to the door
I got my face done and now
Bill Gates is my whore
With a knick-knack paddy whack… *
He said he could do most anything, but IIRC, the only thing that happened when he twisted his ring was “Like magic we’re at Burger King”. I suppose one could use that to escape ones enemies, except they’d know you were are Burger King, and could hunt you down. OTOH, Ronald could make food appear by snapping his fingers, couldn’t he? Maybe he could make other things appear, like weapons.
Anyway, they’d both kick butt over the Jack In the Box characters. I don’t think they had any powers at all. The Onion Ring Thing was just a man shaped like onion rings as far as I can remember. The only thing the Secret Agent could do was espionage. The French Fry Guy was just a kid who liked french fries and had new tennis shoes. And The Shakes had musical talent, but that was about it.
Unless they attack him in the McDonalds, in which case he’s basically fucked.