MMMM, that crab looks…Delicious <goes to get a pot of boiling water ready>
Oh crap, they’re only available in the southern hemisphere…
That looks remarkably like the Water Scorpions we have in our pond, it’s a one acre man-made pond stocked with largemouth bass and a shallower swimming area
I’ve been bitten by one of the thin Water Scorpions (we have both the thin and wide kinds in the pond) while swimming, and it’s painful, very painful, worse than a Yellow Jacket wasp sting
Needless to say, I now have a vendetta against those horrid bugs, and anytime I see one, I find a handy rock, pull the bug out of the water, and it’s SMASHY time!, zero-tolerance, no negotiation, there is a standing death penalty for any Water Scorpion I find
You’re gonna need a bigger pot.
Class to Calvin: “Bats aren’t bugs!”
Calvin: “Who’s giving the presentation here, you chowderheads or me?”
(paraphrased from memory)
I’d love to see the coconut crabs clean house on what is no doubt the greatest evolution in the rich history of the Japanese gambling game, Japanese Bug Fights.
http://www.japanesebugfights.com/
(Only NSFW if you work at PETA)
The chowderheads. It’s always the chowderheads. 
TYG that is my new favorite website. I now have plans for the weekend.
I’m not a member of PETA, but I had a problem with these “fights”, as many were poorly matched and it was a given which “bug” would win…
I have no problems with the Tarantula/Centipede/Scorpion/Tarantula Wasp matchups, as these insects have similar types of attacks (venom/fangs/stingers), however there are several unequal “WTF are they thinking would happen?” matches
Round 20; Rhinoceros beetle Vs. blue crawfish - many problems here, first and foremost, the crawfish is not an insect, secondly, it’s an aquatic crustacean, yes it has legs and claws, but it’s designed to be supported in water, and no, wetting the gravel is not an excuse, it also breathes through gills, not book lungs like insects
so in this “match” the crawfish was out of it’s element, and, if not suffocating, at least inconvenienced, it spent the whole “match” trying to escape from the beetle, which being a land animal, had an unfair advantage, it may have also had difficulty seeing where it was as it’s eyes are designed to work in a liquid environment
so, pitting a visually challenged, motion-compromised, water breathing contender trying it’s best to get back into water against a land based challenger on the attack, real fair, guys…:rolleyes:
Round 19; Tarantula Vs. Praying Mantis - Hmm, lets see, a venom-packing, fanged hunting insect against a large, soft bodied ambush insect with a *tiny * mouth that preys on insects much smaller than itself, i wonder how that one would go?.. the poor Mantis wouldn’t even be able to restrain a single leg of the tarantula and start slowly chewing through it…
Round 18; Cave Cricket Vs. Mantis - once again, it comes down to tiny mouth (mantis) vs. large, clawed mouth (cave cricket), who’s setting up these matches, and do they have any concept of “fair play”?
Round 14; Windscorpion Vs Cobrahead Praying Mantis - Does this bug you, I’m not touching you, does this bug you?.. this one was interesting as both contenders were pretty equally matched
Round 10; Tarantula Wasp Vs. Praying Mantis - <sigh> anotther foregone conclusion, one contender (hunter) with not only a large set of mandibles, but venom as well? Vs a tiny mouthed ambush predator?
T-shirt available here.
Here’s a breakdown of the Japanese Bug Fights competitors, with expert analysis:
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Japanese_Bug_Fights
(NSFW since there’s a good chance you’ll get a dirty ad on the side)
(edit: OH GOD and I didn’t even notice the shot of the tarantula on the guy’s… uh… yeah it’s definitely NSFW)
Let’s be consistent here. You can’t make a big deal because they called the crawfish an insect, and then turn right around and call the tarantula an insect yourself.
Oh, fuck no! Why did- who would- what about the- GAH! WHOUDBWAH! UGH! Gods damn… fuckin’… internet…
At times like this, you just have to remember that even if there were no internet, he’d still be doing it.
True, but no one else would be seeing it.
A certain quote about nuking things from orbit comes to mind.
I mean, I may be a crazy anthropodophile (if that’s a word), but even I have my limits.
I am a) passing out from the pics of Barry and b) leaving that article up to freak out my husband.
Four feet long. Four feet long and that ugly and venomous. Aaagh.
Dave Barry once wrote about trying to keep food away from raccoons while camping. He decided that if we really want to get to Mars, all we have to do is convince the raccoons that there is food up there, and they’ll find a way.
Rather mild compared to these other creatures but the New Zealand weta can be kind of scary looking. It’s harmless.
Well, the new edition of the Guide says ‘Mostly harmless’.
Neat! The coconut crabs look very tastey to me. 