Big city vs small town living

In My Humble Opinion
1

Thought it might be interesting for folk to discuss the relative merits of living in a big city as opposed to a small(er) town.

Certainly the definitions of either term are flexible. My personal experience is with Chicago, so a town of 100k seems pretty small by comparison. I currently live in a town of 35k, which seems quite small to me, but it is the social and economic driver for the surrounding area which has many much smaller towns.

It is really hard to identify anything I really miss about living in the Chicago area. Other than family, the only thing is ready access to a major airport. I don’t travel very much, but when/if I do, it is REALLY convenient to have such a major airport 30 min from your door. Also would help if I wanted my kids to travel to see me, now that they are spreading across the map.

I also miss a bluegrass group I used to jam with regularly. I’m going to have to see what I can do to get a group together around here.

But other than that, there’s not much I miss. The one thing I REALLY don’t miss is the traffic and crowds. There is no stretch of road here which is the equal of so many Chicago area thoroughfares or expressways. And I’ve traded a 2-hour daily commute for less than 20 minutes.

I’ve got what I consider the best of both worlds, as I live in a smallish town less than 100 miles from a big city. So if I want to go to a major museum, theater, etc., it is a not horrible drive - or even a train ride - to get there. But my town is a county seat with a small airport, so it has a number of restaurants, major stores, and such.

Being further from the city I am nearer to open areas where I enjoy to hike, bike, and walk the dog. And there are plenty of good cheap golf courses hidden among the cornfields. And for less than half the price I got for my old home on a 50-foot wide subrban lot, I could buy a lovely home on acerage.

People seem FAR friendlier, and less rushed - tho I recognize behind that friendliness is an intolerant conservative religiosity. But superficial politeness does have its merits compared to anonymous rudeness. It is such a shock to go into a store - or even the DMV for crying out loud - and have the clerk be pleasant, competent, and willing to help!

I guess I’m at a stage in my life where I am more comfortable with my own company and being nearer to nature, and the small town provides me that. How about you?

2

In a small town, there are no secrets.

3

Y’aint from roond hereabouts, are ya? If ya not be a local, ya wont be welcome roond these parts with your city ways and your liberal shenanigans.

That’s my stereotypical image of the rural dweller. Nice as pie if they know you and you come with a good resume, but very wary of outsiders who might attempt to alter their ways.

Mostly good people, but at the same time, if our ancestors had as little interest in moving beyond their traditional, nature-dependent worlds, we’d never have had an industrial revolution and we wouldn’t be here discussing this.

4

This goes beyond mere gossip into legal trouble if you have any hobbies like marijuana use or other drug use. Cops in the big city don’t have time to remember users, cops in small towns DO. Not only that they will instantly know because of the gossip chain if you smoke pot at a party, then expect decades of harassment on the road with fraudulent traffic stops. Ditto for employment, everyone will know.

5

Yeah, I guess what you describe would be true in a VERY small town, but in my current town of 35k, I can be as anonymous as I wish.

6

I currently live in Hoboken, NJ, a town of 50,000 people in one square mile. It’s also about 15 minutes from Manhattan by subway, ferry or bus. While it’s a pretty self contained small town, it’s really feels more like a neighborhood of NYC.

One of the things about Big City living is that your neighborhood becomes sort of a “small town” within the larger city. You have regular restaurants and bars and shops you go to. You recognize and get to know people around the neighborhood. There are probably 5 resturants in town where my SO and I are immediately recognized by the owner and staff.
I grew up in a Small Town in CT. I suppose it might be nice to have that sort of familiarity with a place and a history with the people who live there. But there is a tendency to be cast in the roles you grew up with and do the same things for years and years. Plus opportunity tends to be limited, unless you are commuting distance from a major city. I mean there’s a reason the call those people “townies”.

7

I’m used to living in small cities, 100K-300K populations for the counties. I think this is a comfortable size. You get all the standard stores and restaurants and at least one megaplex movie theater plus at least a couple of cultural perks (a university? a symphony? a ballet? a zoo? a water park?), but the traffic and real estate prices stay tame. You also avoid the small town lack of privacy.

I wouldn’t consent to live within commuting distance of a large city like Chicago. We go out of our way to avoid traffic situations like that, and we really like our living space and big back yard. I do enjoy doing an occasional weekend in a place like that, though, and I’m glad that we live within occasional-striking-distance of one.

My husband works in a very small town of 1500 people. Our best friends live there. While it’s fun to listen to them tell stories about all the shenanigans at town meetings, and it’s probably nice to feel that you actually have some pull in your community, it does weird me out that everyone knows everyone else’s business. The friends, who have lived there for a mere 20 years, say that they are still considered to be outsiders. Also, lack of easy access to the good stores and restaurants and stuff–they have a 30 minute drive to the edge of town.

8

I prefer small towns and knowing everyone. It’s wearing to be so anonymous, to me, but that’s because I’m from a small town (pop. ~5,000) . I lived in a bit-larger small town (pop. 12,000) in my 20s and it was the same. I wasn’t treated as an outsider, either, but welcomed and made many friends which I have to this day (and I haven’t lived there in more than 20 years).

The city where I live is medium sized by national standards, but large for my state which is primarily rural. Which, by the way, doesn’t make you any dumber or more suspicious than any other human so why don’t we let go of some of these offensive stereotypes?

9

It can work both ways. I was once stopped by a cop who then remembered I was an agent at the real estate office he bought his house from. Couldn’t have hurt, and he never gave me a ticket.

Unless you’re bent on doing a nefarious deed, it is a good thing that the local Chief of Police, Sheriff, Fire Chief, County Board Chairman, all city and county supervisors, and the heads of all county departments know you by face and name.

Nearest town, pop. 10,000. Entire county, 27,000.

10

And then there’s rural living.

We live on 15 acres in the middle of Nowhere, Ohio. Lots of woods. We can’t even see our nearest neighbor from the house, so there is no “community” so to speak. It feels like we’re living on an island.

And I love it. :slight_smile:

11

I grew up in a very small town (pop. 1,300 when I lived there and it was the biggest place around for many miles). People could be small-minded but you can’t beat the sense of community in places like that. We had to drive 40+ miles to make most major purchases too. Amazon.com and the rest of the internet have really made it easier to live in places like that than 20 years ago.

I have lived in New Orleans and Boston proper. I am just not a city person at all except to visit once in a while. Everything seems horribly inconvenient, expensive, and rude to me at least. I don’t do public transportation and I don’t like having to fight over parking spaces and everything else. I hardly ever take advantage of the cultural opportunities and end up doing the same few things over and over just like most people do so big cities don’t offer many advantages over anywhere else to me and they have tons of downsides.

I live in a distant suburb of Boston now that is also well established and mostly self-contained. It is pretty ideal except I don’t have as much land as I want. There is restaurants and things to do but you don’t have to fight crowds.

I want to live in a really rural place for a while as well. I mean somewhere where the nearest town is 30 miles away and no neighbors but I might get tired of that after a while.

12

I grew up in a town of about 11,000 and when I growed up I bought a house here, in the very neighborhood where I grew up. It suits me just fine. Plenty of anonymity plus plenty of shopping and dining, yet small enough where one could become “known in town” if they wanted. I suppose I’m known well enough as my mom worked for the schools.

The way my town is situated, I’m within 20 minutes of two major cities so if I need something like a museum or an airport or a bluegrass band, it’s all very close.

13

I grew up a couple miles outside of a town of 2,000 people in rural, central Minnesota and now live in the Bucktown neighborhood of Chicago.

There are definitely things I like and dislike about both. When people ask me if I’m going to stay in Chicago long term (I’m in my late 20’s), I usually answer that I don’t know but also have no immediate plans to leave. I went to college in the Chicago area, and many of my friends are still around. Also, I work in the trading industry, which is pretty much only in New York and Chicago. Outside of work, there is always something to do. It can even be overwhelming. Pretty much all major (and minor) bands swing by on tour. New restaurants and bars open up weekly. There’s some type of sporting event pretty much every night, etc. If someone is bored here, it’s their fault.

On the flip side, I sometimes miss the pace and culture of rural Minnesota. It’s nice to be able to go to sleep at night in pure silence and see a sky full of stars. The key to the house is “hidden” in a cooler at eye level literally right next to the door. There’s always a dozen Swedish octogenarians drinking coffee and eating donuts in the bakery on Main Street (yes, I grew up in Garrison Keillor’s wet dream). I think what I miss most is the ability to drive 10 minutes in any direction and hit a lake. There’s no easy access to nature in Chicago.

I kind of feel like I’ll probably eventually end up somewhere around Minneapolis.

14

You can’t swing a dead cat around here without hitting a bluegrass band.

15

Yes, this is very much what I am feeling. Something smaller than a very big city seems to be a much more “human” and “natural” scale of existence. Of course, it lacks the unlimited opportunities for stimulation or diversion which a big city provides.

Yes, I appreciate the need for megatropolises. But now when I am in Chicago and find myself stuck in traffic to run a basic errand, I really question why anyone would choose to subject themselves to that on a regular basis.

I don’t know of dumb or suspicious, but I do think living in a smaller, less diverse area does foster a sort of ignorance. Not saying big city folk can’t be ignorant in their own ways, but I suspect it is easier to hold negative opinions of folk unlike you if you have never had to interact with them.

Here’s a weird one - it was actually a pleasant experience to get my new driver’s license here. The clerks were all pleasant and helpful. Imagine that! What a change from Chicago.

Why do you think that would be? Just abut the only thing I was able to come up with was that the clerks were all drawn from a similar cultural group, and did not have the issues of dealing with a diverse client base - with various language and cultural issues. So on one hand I decry the lack of diversity, but on the other hand, I acknowledge that it creates some practical benefits.

16

Another thing I miss. A week ago Supersuckers played a dive maybe 2 miles from the house I sold last summer, and this weekend New Duncan Imperials are reuniting at Fitzgeralds, my favorite haunt. But combined with the late hour, I’m not up for making the necessary arrangements…

17

My living situations have ranged from a farm to cities of around 200,000 people. The province I’ve lived in my entire life is almost the size of Texas with a population of 1 million people.

I went on vacation to Tokyo recently. One thing that confused me doing my trip research was how much value people put on going to parks and nature areas. I thought so much more of the focus would be on places like Shibuya crossing, the busiest pedestrian crossing in the world, and other busy but interesting areas like Ginza, Roppongi and Harajuku. But then I realized - most of the people travelling are probably from large cities. Of course they want to get away! They probably have access to every product in Tokyo in whatever city they came from. I’m the opposite - I have nature at my fingertips. I grew up having the run of hundreds of acres of land. I had forests and lakes an hour away. The hustle and bustle of the city is a novelty to me, just as open nature would be to many city-dwellers.

I haven’t lived in a big city before, but from my short experiences visiting them, I have a feeling I’d be much more amenable to keeping them for visits and not for living in. The internet allows me to buy a lot of things not kept in stock in local stores.

As for ignorance issues, I see it, but I don’t feel it’s as pronounced an issue here as it would be in equally rural America. There are definitely old cranky farmers sticking to their prejudices, but I also see a lot of older people being more accepting. I think it’s just a Canadian thing.

18

I grew up in a very small town - the population was 3000. When I was 21, I moved to Calgary, a city of just over 1 million people. If I had to choose between the two, I would choose the city.

Growing up in a small town was not a lot of fun. Drama, no secrets, lots of drugs, lots of drinking and driving, everyone knew all your business. My parents and one sister still live there, and I’m friends with a few of my highschool friends on Facebook. They are all exactly the same at 30 as they were at 16 - immature drama queens.

I’m sure kids in the city have similar problems, but at least there were options. For instance, high school courses in the city are much more varied and interesting then what we had in my high school. I wanted to take Earth Science instead of the standard Biology/Chemistry and could only do it via correspondence. Not really conducive to a great learning experience.

As an adult, I like the opportunities I have in the city. I can get whatever I want, I don’t absolutely need a vehicle, we have an international airport (I like to travel), and there is no un-needed drama in my life.

19

I would posit that the OPs 35k town wouldn’t really be called a “small town” in the spectrum of town/city sizes. Maybe a large town?

It would be mildly interesting to chart the distinguishing shared characteristics of towns/cities on a scale from tiny to small to…mega-opolis.

In my personal experience I have lived in a small town (<3,000) and moved to Los Angeles as an adult.

I found that in a small town everybody knows everything about everybody all the time. There is nothing nefarious about it, it’s just what it is. It’s like being around family all the time. Whereas in a big city, you likely don’t know the person who is in the next apartment.

The other aspect is about conformity, in a small town the culture really doesn’t value anything outside of the norms - there may be a variety of norms, but they are limited. You are really expected to stick to your place and role. Whereas in the a big city, there is an energy to strive for something better - which I find to be a good thing.

Just my $.02.

20

I like them both. I’m from New York, Queens, and though where I grew up was more suburban, I learned how to do cities pretty early. Cities are great because there is so much to do right there. We’re going to live right in the heart of several cities when I retire, so we can take the chance to do everything.
On the other hand I lived in a small town, about 1 sq. mile, for fifteen years. You could leave your door unlocked and there was probably not going to be a problem. Everyone knew everyone else. If the cops stopped you for speeding they apologized and told you that they were looking to slow down the commuters. I lived next door to the deli manager of the local supermarket and two doors from the town clerk. Because a lot of people worked in the local research centers, it was far from being backward. There were tons of volunteers for all activities, and my kids schools had lots of parental involvement. So that was pretty nice also.