I Hate Big Cities

The BBQ Pit
1

Yeah, I know, I don’t HAVE to go to big cites. But sometimes, it’s required for my job/training.

I hate the fact that I don’t know anyone. (True fact - if you grew up in Montana and meet someone else who grew up in Montana, you will know someone in common. It’s one degree of seperation and an in-state joke.)

I hate that I have to worry about wandering into “the wrong neighborhood” or getting mugged or getting assaulted just because of what I look like.

I hate the fact that figuring out how to use public transportation to go somewhere took me 40 minutes on my lunch hour on the web to plan bus and ferry schedules, plus whether I could walk from point A to Point B.

I hate that city maps aren’t as easy for me to read as a topo map.

I hate being around that many people.

I hate that people aren’t as friendly as I’m used to, and that I’m just another person in line, instead of a friendly face or a potential return customer.

I hate the celebrity worship (Brad Pitt once ate at this restaurant!).

I hate paying $5 for a beer.

My experiences in big cities have generally been good, particularly once people find out I’m from Montana (it seems like everyone has been here on vacation or wants to come here). I’ve learned that I should turn around when I hit a neighborhood that has bars on every window or more than three pawn shops per block.

But I still worry and feel lonely. Drop me off in grizzly country with a swiss army knife and a book of matches, and I know what to do. Drop me off in a big city with a bus schedule and a (city thing) and . . . I’m fucked.

But I love the restaurants and the ethnic variety of good-looking women in cities. But it’s hard to find the nearest VFW club. (The one place in every town in the Rocky Mountain west where someone will say “Howdy” and take an interest in you.)

Whistlepig, who was born in Alaska and lived to age 21 in a small town in eastern Montana. There’s a joke in my town that the local Grange once held a raffle. First prize was a week in New York City. Second prize was 10 days in New York City.

And thanks to Zenster for offering to show me around a little bit this weekend.

2

Mods, can you kill one of these threads. I got the double post from “The SDMB is too busy too use right now.”

Thanks.

3

You’re not the only one. I don’t like big cities either, and I avoid them when possible. I don’t like to be around so many people. And I really don’t like driving in all the traffic. THe largest city I’ve ever lived in was St. Paul, and that is a small city as far as that goes - I hated it. It was nice to be close to shopping and events, but I really like the small town I’m living in now much better.

4

I guess the big city is not for everyone. I’m kind of the exact opposite:

-I like the fact that I don’t know everyone in my building, let alone my town

-I feel like I am in greater danger of getting raped by Hillbillies or killed by an ax murderer in the country than getting mugged in the city

-I hate going anyplace I can’t reach by using a Metrocard.

I hate that city maps aren’t as easy for me to read as a topo map.

-I hate being around that many trees, deer, and coyotes.

-I don’t like people talking to me unless I know them or they are a hot girl

-Ulma Thurman once walked past me and I would have never known it was her until some tourists pointed her out.

-If I don’t pay $5 for a beer, I assume the bar is for junkies

-My experiences in the country have generally been good, particularly once people find out I’m from NYC (it seems like the concept of paying a months mortgage for one room is considered insane). I’ve learned that walking around in a leather jacket, dark sunglasses, and an Armani shirt is considered “pretentious” outside of the city.

-Being stuck in the country makes me feel lonely. Drop me off in a city with a Zagats guide and a subway map and I rock, put me and a couple buddies in the wilderness and the survivors will be explaining to the cops why we started eating each other after 3 hours.

-It’s tough to find good food outside the city unless you know where to go. Even then, like sushi, thai, pizza and so on become increasingly rare and substandard as you move furthur away from certain areas.

5

Whistlepig, I agree 100%. I dread when I have to make a trip into the big city.

My town has just over 8000 people. The nearest bigger city has 130K. That’s big enough for me! I loathe trips to the Valley or L.A. proper. Drop me off in L.A. with a map of the area and I am lost.

Drop me off in the hills with a topo map of the area, and I will know exactly where I am and where I need to go.

Plus, if I go outside at night, I hear crickets and night birds. The coyotes were out last night; only a couple blocks away. And I can still see the Milky Way in the sky.

6

As a recent hostile transplant from The Greatest City In The World to the Birthplace Of The King, I must agree with msmith537.

I hate that I can’t buy alchohol on sunday.

I hate that when I go to the bank to open a new account, I’m asked which fucking church I go to.

I hate that garage sales are open only on saturdays, and from 6am-10am only.

I love not needing a car, and cabbing it home from the bar at 5am with no fear.

I hate rednecks.

I hate having zero nada not a single pizza place that will deliver to my residence.

I love bar flair.

I hate small town billy bob sheriff’s deputys. / I love Chicago cops (they’ve seen it all and couldn’t care less about my sorry ass).

I love money.
Most of all, to me right now, the bible belt feels downright repressive, almost like a fundamentalist christian sharia law, where poverty and ignorance are celebrated.

Fuck that

7

I hate the fact that I can never find a place to park. Suburbia forever!

8

I agree with you wistlepig. Which makes it ironic that I live and always have lived within the catchment area of one of the biggest and least friendly cities on earth. Having to go into the heart once or more per week for meetings does not help my feelings either.

pan

9

I live in the suburbs of Philadelphia. I live in a nice quiet town, but am a mere 15-20 minute drive to the city. I really think it’s the best of both worlds.

Only thing I don’t like in the city is lack of privacy. There isn’t a damn place you can go without 50 other people around you. You can just forget about being alone. That and the pace of it. I work in the city and everything is always rush, rush, rush. You can’t help rushing yourself. You start getting aggravated by people who walk to slow or just being in your way at the wrong moment.

I like being able to go to the city for the culture and restaurants, but give me a quiet place to live.

10

Heh, this cracked me up. If I went to Montana, I wouldn’t know anyone. Not sure I would hate it though, I could always, ya know, meet someone, and then I would know a person who would apparently know everyone else in the state. Party time!

Seriously, living in a big city oftentimes takes care of a lot of problems you mentioned. Living in a big city is different from visiting a big city. I’m not just a random stranger in line at the businesses I frequent, just like in other areas you get to know your bartender, grocery people, deli guy, dry cleaner, pharmacist, newsstand guy, etc. The public transportation thing gets easier after you’ve done it a couple of times, just like (much to my amazement) I actually got better at driving around the area of rural Oklahoma where my in-laws live, despite the fact that it involves a whole bunch of roads that don’t have any street signs AND there are cow pastures on each corner that don’t serve very well as landmarks, because most cows look alike to me. Plus, they move around (the cows, not the pastures), so sometimes I’m not clear on whether something is a cow pasture that happens to be vacant at the moment while the cows are off gambooling elsewhere, or some other sort of field. One good thing though, is that there isn’t very much traffic, so I can stop the car at an intersection and sit there pondering “Is that the same road that I turned down yesterday? Does that cow look familiar?” without holding up anybody else.

If you ever come to New York, we’ll show you a good time, and (perhaps more importantly) show you the places that don’t charge $5 for a beer.

11

I hate big cities too. I lived in Queens for over 10 years and worked in Manhatten. As much as I hated my job, I hated getting there and getting home even more. I didn’t know it then though. But, I’ll tell you, life in the big city just beats you down.

I also hate really rural areas. Not that I’m always running out for milk at 10 pm, but it’s nice to know I can. It’s nice to have a little human life around, too.

I’m a suburban kind of gal I guess.

12

You are kidding me. That’s ridiculous!

Put me down as another person who likes the big city. While i like the countryside it just isn’t as exciting and interesting.

13

I was born in Nebraska, lived there for just a couple of years and then moved to western South Dakota; small towns like Murdo (500), Winner (2,500), Belle Fourche (3,000), Mobridge (3,000)… you get the idea. Hell, in those towns, there are no degrees of seperation. Everybody knows everybody else. If you were to, say, trip and fall on your doorstep leaving your house, by the time you got to the grocery store, the clerk at the checkout counter would ask you if you hurt yourself. Strangely comforting in a way.

Now I live in New Jersey, within 45 minutes of New York. I live in a nice quiet neighborhood (relatively speaking) and have some wonderful neighbors. I’ve been to New York several times (had a BALL in Little Italy), but thank God for my fiance’s friend Christine. Without her, we would STILL be wandering around like a land-bound version of the Flying Dutchman. I truly enjoy the vast variety of things to do/see/eat.

But CHRIST, I get tired of all the people!! Yeah, yeah, I know…can’t have a city without lots of people. But I can be driving down the remotest road I can find (heh) at 2:00 am…

…and there WILL be some guy right behind me, honking at me to get out of the way…

14

One for the big city love, and for one main–albeit large–reason:

I love that I can find/get anything I want without trouble.

Obscure novel? Somewhere in Montreal sells it. Obscure movie? It’s playing somewhere in town. New food experience? Some restaurant is making it.

Love it. Especially the book part. I love that I have a list in my wallet of the best used book stores in Montreal, and I love that it’s a really long list.

15

I hate leaving the city. Nothing makes me want to stab scissors in my eyes more that “Small Town America.” If I wish to see something that is not paved, I will observe it through a powerful telescope.

16

Funny. I’ve always found that the one place in the world, or at least the one place with any kind of human population, where you’ll get total privacy is in a big city. The thing about the big city (or at least New York City) is that nobody cares. Nobody cares who you are. They don’t care what you’re doing, as long as you’re not actually assaulting them. They don’t care what you’re wearing. They definitely don’t care what church you go to.

You can have total, absolute anonymity here. Try that in a small town.

17

Drop me off in grizzly country with a Swiss army knife and a book of matches, and I will call my limo on my cell phone and have him get me the hell back to civilization and the nearest Elizabeth Arden’s salon.

18

I must respectfully disagree. A big city is a great place to be alone. Yes, there are many warm bodies, but you are not expected to speak to any of them. I live in a building with about 200 people, and not one of them stops by to borrow a cup of sugar. I love that.

The thing that Toaster said about the grocery store clerk knowing about my personal life would drive me bat shit.

19

Of two minds about this. There’s nothing as purely relaxing as sitting on your own back porch, watching the evening slowly turn into night, sipping your Beverage of Choice (iced tea or vodka and lemonade, yum), watching the fireflies twinkle, listening to all the sounds that you get when you’re so far away from city traffic it isn’t even a distant buzz anymore.

But I live in a mighty fine city – not too big (600k people), not too small. Cosmopolitan in parts, but largely a hippie town, all things considered. You can go to one of the all-night coffee joints in the University area and actually listen to actual poetry slams, if that’s your thing, or play chess or cards or just talk to strangers. Or you can go to a late-night bookstore and be left the hell alone, thank yew…plop yourself on that ancient couch behind the stairs and curl up with the latest whatever.

Or you can go down to the club district and dance to the music of your choice – swing, ska, classic rock, “alternative”, heavy metal, country, hip-hop, industrial, 70s, 80s…you name it.

Or you can take in a play or a movie (I go for the movie at the Alamo Drafthouse, only theater I know of that offers beer and a full meal. On a plate) or a live band or whatever. There’s always something to do, but you can also tell it all to bugger off and go sit by yourself someplace.

I got claustrophobic in small-town Texas. I’d just as soon not have people knowing my business. I’d start figuring the FBI had my house bugged. :slight_smile:

20

I recently made a trip to a big city. It was absolute hell.

  • Though probably due to socialization in such an environment, it seemed like everyone was an asshole. Every attempt at eye-contact followed by a smile and a nod (nonverbal communication for “Hello fellow human being! I acknowledge your existence and wish you no harm! In fact, I wish you merriment and good cheer!” etc) resulted in raised eyebrows, or angry staredowns, or a muttered “asshole.” What assholes.

  • The panhandlers. You just want money for food. I offer you my packed sandwich. It’s a big fucking sandwich. And you refuse it and get pissed off that I won’t give you money. What’s the deal? Some of them are downright freaky. I saw one female panhandler bowing before a check-exchange muttering about Allah and Jesus before soliciting me. It was certainly an experience.

  • There were policemen everywhere. I know they’re there for my protection, but it made me feel like I was doing something wrong.

  • Everything is so damned expensive.

  • After paying $4.00 for a fucking cup of coffee and sitting down to enjoy it, the clerk gives my pal and me a scant 5 minutes before wondering if we’re loitering and asking us to mosey on. Good God, I’d been walking around gawking like an idiot at skyscrapers for the last fucking 3 hours, I’d like a few moments to sit the fuck down and drink some fucking coffee. Some fucking $4.00 coffee.

But it was worth it. It was Cleveland, and there wasn’t a soul down by the Lake. I got a few moments to stare into the waters with a chilled wind in my hair and wax poetic.

Also, I got to see an anti-war demonstration. This event was the only one in which I was the recipient of genuine human contact. Twice, even. I supported the war, but I just wanted to see protestors in person. They were a line of about 150 people, some carrying signs, others wearing long flowing robes and pounding on bongos. A charming young lass offered me a rose. I declined, explaining that I wouldn’t know what to do with it. Another man attempted to heckle them, but some police officers chased him away. All in all, it was very amusing. A gentleman standing nearby looked at me, perplexed, and asked, “Isn’t the war over?” I nodded that it was, and then he bummed my pal for a cigarette.