Then just break up with her and date someone your own age who has no qualms about having sex with you. Don’t continue to have hot and heavy make out sessions with the teenage girl, knowing that she’s needy and vulnerable and just DYING to rebel against her parents’ religion. I feel like he took advantage of her naivete and fear of losing him, considering her age and family situation.
I’d have him leave the kid alone, date another 20-something. Maybe you’ll say I’m a puritan, but a 16 year old high school student having sex with a 28 year old man seems wrong to me. Probably because I’ve taught 16 year olds and they are not adults, psychologically, and a 28 year old manifestly IS. I don’t know what the age of consent is in Utah but in NY it’s 17.
Note also that Sarah did not want to have sex with him until she found out he was cheating on her, and then she was so upset at the idea of losing him that she would do anything to keep him. If she were an adult, then I’d say she was a woman with poor self-esteem who should have walked away from the guy who is pressuring her for sex she wasn’t terribly inclined to have. The fact that she’s still a kid, this is her first boyfriend, and she’s working out a lot of family and religious issues relating to sex, all facts of which Scott was eminently aware, makes the whole situation seem exploitative on Scott’s part.
He’s the adult, he should have just walked away from her without getting further involved in her adolescent psychodrama. As it is, I see her getting very hurt by the whole thing.
I was hung up on the idea of saying that a woman of legal age shouldn’t be having sex, thinking that 16 was the age of consent in Utah. (Not sure why I thought that.)
Googling for age of consent laws is an ugly thing; I feel dirtier doing that than surfing porn. But after a quick look, it would appear that the law agrees that he’s taking advantage of a minor.
Probably not the best cite, but I’m not googling any further.
Hell, even if she was an adult, but wanted to hold onto her chastity for some reason, I’d feel like he was trying to pressure her; though a grown up can be responsible for those decisions, it’s not very nice to pressure someone that way. Add to it Sarah’s life circumstances and age, and I just think Scott is a scumbag for not walking away from her.
The weird thing is I tried to Google the age of consent for Utah as well, and not only couldn’t I find it very easily, but I felt the same creeped-out feeling that you did. Strange, isn’t it?
Maybe HBO didn’t update their website from when the show started? I don’t know, honestly. But even if she’s 17, that one year does not change my opinion of Scott and how he handled his relationship with Sarah.
BTW in case anyone’s wondering that the hell I was talking about regarding the doctor’s office. I got sidetracked and apparently was answering my email and posting on the Dope at the same time. Whoops :o !
Adelaide is/has been (if you can take her at her word) a pretty good tactician, masquerading as a subservient 6th wife.
Nicky is dishonest, selfish, and a liar, but she’s not shown herself to be that great a manipulator; she’s constantly getting caught and called on the carpet by Bill, by Barb, by her father, and now by her brother. Her responses to challenges to her position is most often to behave as a defensive, petulant child. Hell, her brother found out about Weber Gaming and that Roman was on his way back to the compound because she couldn’t think strategically enough keep her mouth shut.
I don’t think that Alby’s being gay can be used to blackmail him or turn the compound against him, unless he were caught in the act. It seems that several people already know (including Roman I believe) and the rule is, to paraphrase Nicky, it’s part of your faith to suppress your desires. If he is known to have “tendencies” but seems on the surface to be successfully fighting them off, I suspect that it will be taken as a sign of the strength of his faith…
A few episodes ago, Sarah found out that Scott had slept with his ex-girlfriend. He said they had never said they would be exclusive. Then they fight and break up. They get back together when Sarah decides she can’t live without him. She tells him she’s okay with him seeing other girls, but she doesn’t want to have sex with him. Then in the last episode, they do finally have sex.
And I thought that was in dispute-- Sarah DID seem to think they had a commitment, even though apparently it was never stated. She seemed shocked, horrified, and hurt that he was having sex with someone else. The fact that they never had an explicit conversation about exclusivity seemed like a weasely cop-out by Scott, because Sarah is so inexperienced and seemed to assume that, because he was her boyfriend, he was not going to screw around with anyone else.
She’s as much of a moron as your average teenage girl. She was terrifically naive, I agree, but she gets a pass on that because she’s a kid, and it was her first boyfriend, she thought it was true wuv. And check out her role models. Really, calling her a moron seems a bit harsh.
Fucking her when he knows she didn’t want to have sex, as she told him quite clearly earlier, but didn’t want to lose him. That was his cue to stop making out with her.
Huh. I’m going to have to go back and watch an episode I evidently missed. Which one was it where she found out he was having sex with his ex?
Sure seemed to me like she wanted to have sex with him now. I think that was supposed to be a major-league change for her character – the realization that she really didn’t believe in her family’s religion anymore and wanted to throw it off, all of it, including the sexual mores.
Maybe I’ll feel differently after I watch the episode I missed.
I have no problem calling most average teenage girls morons. I used to see it all the time where I came from where a 16 year old girl would get knocked up by a 35 year old cowboy. Mostly on accident but a few would try to ‘catch’ them in that manner. If you don’t see why that’s a bad idea no matter what the age it makes you a moron.
What? Making out is only something you do before sex? She was his girlfriend what else was he supposed to do with her? It is possible she wanted to make out and not have sex as well.
I have a hard time laying ‘fault’ in this relationship. After all a 17 year old girl should know better but she is a little relationship retarded because of her environment she should have had some dating experience under her belt by this age. Also he is taking advantage of her a little but he did attempt to make sure she was as ready as she was going to be before having sex. Hell Ben’s girlfriend was quite the bitch when it came for demanding sex and I didn’t see many people calling her a Bitch (though I think there were one or two). He should have told her he was seeing another girl which does make him a huge asshole. He should have never gotten into this relationship to begin with but aside from the lack of full disclosure I think he made as sure as he could that she was ready. If it wasn’t for the age difference I doubt we’d be having this debate on calling him a dirtbag.
I guess that’s one of the joys of Big Love (which my wife just pointed out when I talked to her about this post) is that there’s no one dimensional characters they all have some shades of gray.
How about it makes her young, naive, and needy? That can pass as moronic behavior in many situations.
He wanted to have sex. She didn’t. She changed her mind, not because she wanted to have sex, but because she didn’t want to lose him. Would you want your teenaged girlfriend to give up her virginity to you out of fear of losing you to the other girl she found out you were fucking and to piss off her dad? I’d rather she did it because she loved me and she was ready. I guess Scott didn’t care.
She was a bitch and it seems to have done Ben a bit of damage, emotionally.
Her age and lack of life experience. Plus, you have to admit, she was in a pretty vulnerable place-- her family is falling apart.
I kind of think you’re correct here, but the part I bolded I don’t think is completely certain based on what we’ve seen. I do think there is a coercive element, but given what chorpler points out, that she is undergoing major changes and is seeing her religious commitment in a new light, I don’t think we can rule out her just being a horny 17 year old and wanting to have sex as being part of it.
Having said that, Scott does seem like kind of a sleeze.