Couldn’t help myself, I laughed out loud in this dude’s face.
Last week I had a 1-stopover flight - Boston to Charlotte to Chicago. There was about a 1-hr layover in Charlotte. So I get off the plane in Charlotte, just to stretch my legs. It’s the same craft from Charlotte to Chicago so I could stay on, but I need some fresh air. Immediately adjacent to our gate is a Bojangles. Now, I’m a Yankee, and we don’t have them up north, but I love Bojangles. Best fast food fried chicken there is, IMO. I bought a fried-chicken biscuit just because it’s so great.
Getting back on the plane - I’m like zone 17, or whatever is last to board. No big deal. When I finally do that awkward shuffle onto the plane, moving half a step at a time through first class, it hits me. Right in the face.
Dude in first class, first row no less - he’s brought a full 3-piece Bojangles dinner on board, along with cajun fries. He’s stuffing it into his face. Just totally devouring, animal-style, a big ol’ styrofoam container full of nasty goodness. The entire plane reeks of fried janky awesome. Every single other person in first-class is glaring at him.
ROFL - I couldn’t help myself, I busted out laughing. The entire plane stank of fried food the entire flight. That magnificent bastard. Stay classy, dude.
At the Orlando airport, there’s an Outback Steakhouse kiosk in one of the terminals. I boarded my flight home to find the two people next to me trying to eat a giant steak with flimsy plastic forks.
From somewhere behind me, I heard some dude say, “I want those motherf*&^ing steaks of this motherf*&%ing plane!” And I died. I laughed the entire flight home.
I was on an ASUS flight (are they still around), one of those wide-bodied cattle-mover planes with 7+ seats per row when this family boards. Their seats were spread out over a couple of rows, and I had the window seat next to two of them, including the mother.
When the plane takes off, she reaches into her carry on, pulls out this food-warmer thing, opens it up, and starts serving curried dishes to her family.
Now, I fucking HATE the smell of curry. HATE IT! But there’s no escape, right? I’m stuck inside this pressurized metal tube @ 33,000 feet and I have to smell this shit all the way into Denver.
So the Dad comes to me and asks if we can exchange seats so he can sit with his family. In what is admittedly not one of my better moments I looked the guy in the eye and said “No fucking way. Y’all just made this flight a living hell with that stink-assed food, so the last thing I’m going to do is give my seat up to one of the people who ruined my flight with their thoughtlessness.”
He was quite taken aback. And he sat in his seat.
Fuck them. Just retelling the story has pissed me off (and made me a little queasy - as I said, I HATE THE SMELL OF CURRY.)
And Bojangle’s is not very good fried chicken, but as a Yankee, I guess you wouldn’t know that.
You couldn’t find a direct flight from Boston to Chicago? I’m in Boston and wind up going through Chicago whether I want to or not.
Dude brought his own food into first class? I thought part of the deal with first class was that the airline had some decent food for you already on the plane.
I wonder, what would they do if you brought durian onto a flight? Is there a way to ventilate the plane? Would they divert? Would you get into trouble?
I know what the OP went through. Last time I flew home from Toronto, a family had picked up A&W burgers and fries from the A&W in the departures area. The whole plane smelled of A&W burgers and fries. I got hungry, but not enough to buy the expensive and much-less tasty crud the airline was selling.
When I lived in Toronto, I often travelled by train out of Toronto’s Union Station. There was a snack bar on the way to the departures concourse that had a sign: “Going on a train trip? Let us make you a meal to take with you.” I took them up on their offer a few times; the meal was generally a sandwich (your choice), some celery and carrots and ranch dip, and a cookie. I’d get a Coke to go with that, and would have a nice lunch on the train. The price was reasonable, and the food was much better that what the railway sold.
I’m wondering if something like that could be done in airports. My sandwich on the train offended nobody, and it worked to keep me from feeling hungry.
Yeah, I could, but this was to visit a customer. Unfortunately he put off confirming our appointment until the last minute. So when I went to book a flight it was either $1500 for a direct flight, or $700 for a two-step since the flight was only a day or two away. This was through Orbitz. Wasn’t happy about it, but my boss would totally have been on my ass for the more expensive option.
I had the same question, but with this explanation, I understand. I once had to get from Toronto to San Francisco. My San Francisco client booked the flight: American Airlines from Toronto (YYZ) to DFW, then to SFO. The return trip was SFO to ORD, then on to YYZ. Unfortunately, my client did not allow me to fly on either Air Canada’s nor Canadian Airlines’ (which is since defunct) nonstop YYZ-SFO flights, because they were a little more expensive than AA’s flights with connections. Sometimes, the person booking and paying makes the rules, and all we can do is follow them.
Oscar: [to Michael] I made egg salad sandwiches. Do you want one?
**
Michael Scott: ** Could you have picked something stinkier to bring on a plane? My God, Oscar, really. Do you have a bag of baby poop in there, too, to share with everybody? No, I’ll be ordering my own food. Thank you very much. [turns to talk to flight attendant] Hi, um, I’d like to see a menu, please.
Flight Attendant: Oh, I’m sorry. There are no meals on flights less than two hours.
Michael Scott: Oh, ok. [looks back at Oscar regretfully]
The cabin crew has a lot of latitude to rein in passengers who are being “disruptive.” I’ve never smelled durian, but I’ve heard about it; it’s so pungent that it’s specifically forbidden in some venues. I think they could ask you to put the durian away, or confiscate it if you refuse to do so (and any time you refuse to follow direct orders from a member of the flight crew, you are risking an arrest and a fine).
I expect that part of the reason airline food is so unappealing is that they’re specifically designed to not overwhelm the cabin with odors; you’re not likely to see fried or extremely spicy foods in a meal served by the cabin crew.
I was flying out of Detroit to either Seattle or San Diego and grabbed something from home to drink on the flight (pre liquids ban). All I had was a small bottle of gin. On the way I decided to grab some food so I hit White Castle of all places. I was running late, so I decided to take the food on with me. Luckily, I was bumped to first class. So there I am, sitting in first class, sipping on a bottle of gin and chowing down on sliders. Got a few weird looks to say the least.
In December of 2008 I was in ther Charlotte airport – twice – with my girlfriend. I was seriously jonesing for Bojangles. Being from the north, I don’t get that meal often. Even KFC doesn’t have much of a presence here.
But my GF wouldn’t have it. For some reason I followed her “it’s not good for you” thing. I think we ended up getting granola salads with a side of tofu instead. Yuck!
But last December I found myself in Charlotte twice again. I Bojangled. Oh hell yeah I Bojangled. Twice.
Maybe an intercontinental flight is NOT the best place to open a can of surstromming?
Bonus question: does SAS serve this stuff in 1st Class? It would be a unique appetizer!
