Bigger ass: Tony Stark or Bruce Wayne

One is a brilliant billionaire who, because of a long ago trauma, has decided to put on a funny suit and fight crime. Born on third base, he thinks he’s hit a home run, and thus believes all his fellow heroes should follow his lead, and is not above lying and manipulation to get his way.

So’s the other one.

So the question is; who is the bigger ass, Iron Man or Batman?

Show your work.

The important question is: is this spontaneous asshattery, or does Batman get a chance to prepare first?

Are we talking movies or comics or what?

We’re talking every day, habitual asshattery. The kind that makes Wonder Woman lay aside her lasso at Justice League meetings, lest she accidentally blurt out that she is regularly tempted to kick Wayne’s ass on a weekly basis. The kind that had the other Avengers cheering “Yay!” when Stark got turned into a woman by Ulton. Et cetera.

Oh, comics, I suppose. Stark was not particularly assholish in the movie, at least not after his come-to-the-river experience.

Batman’s definitely got a bigger ass. Tony has to squeeze his into the rigid suit, and spends all his spare time making sure that his ass stays small enough to fit. Can you imagine if a crisis were to break out and his ass were too big to let him suit up? There’d be hell to pay.

Bruce Wayne is hostorically confident in tights, so my bet would be that Tony Stark has a bigger ass.

Brought this on myself, I did.

I’m going to release the monkeys anyway.

Batman built a satellite to monitor superhero activities, and counter them, unbeknownst to even his closest allies. What could go wrong with that?

Iron Man supported hero registration and willingly hunted down allies and enemies alike who wouldn’t see things his way.

Pretty even to me.

I’d say Batman, but only because he’s been an obsessively paranoid assclown for longer than Iron Man.

Batman v. Iron Man

Personally, Bruce is the bigger ass, but I also like him better. What does that make me?

Ultron turned Tony Stark into a woman?

Definitely Stark is the bigger ass, just because he’s Marvel and Wayne is DC and each line has its own proud traditions.

Don’t ask. Please.

I think it’s fair to say that whatever Batman did Stark took one step further.

Bruce goes a bit silly in the head because of mindwipes? Tony goes ahead and mind wipes the planet to hide his secret identity just so he can out himself again a few weeks later.

Bruce monitors his friends? Tony not only monitors but requires that people sign a slip of paper by arbitrary rules (People with powers? Then why are people who are just trained humans being forced to register? Vigilantes? Then why the costumed criminals? And aren’t they already de facto “registered”?) or he deports them regardless of citizenship and throws them in his personal prison.

Bruce tricks people into helping them and expects them to go along with it? Tony actually drafts them according to his whim and does it with a hundred times as many people.

Bruce has his plans to deal with other heroes stolen and used by an enemy? Tony skips that middleman.

Bruce Wayne, if he’s prepared.

Well, Tony’s a Skrull.

How does that effect the issue?

Bosda, no, he’s not.

Tony is a bigger ass. Oh, god. Armor Wars alone. Lying to the Avengers about who was or was not in the suit. The things he’s done to Cap alone.

And Tony got turned into, not only a woman, but Hank Pym’s Wife. (Ultron has daddy issues.)
I was hoping Hank would unleash some of his classic skills.

Tony invented DRM viruses, and unleashed them on the internet. They would have destroyed, among other things, every advanced prosthetic limb design in the world.

Well, Batman is the only person capable of countering a number of infamous, oft super-powered mass murdering criminals…who he lets continue to live (and essentially run free, due to an inadequite prison/asylum system), for the sake of her personal moral code.

Or, possibly, because permanently defeating them would mean that he loses his purpose in life that he’s worked so hard for (Something he might not be consciously aware of, granted, but which doesn’t really make the situation better…in fact, it may make things worse, as he would have been just like the monsters he fights all along, and claimed a halo for it).

'Course, that might qualify more as “dickish” than “ass-ish.”


And if you’re going by that argument, you might as well equally blame the criminal justice system for not considering the death penalty just ONCE. Especially when the Feds could’ve gotten involved long ago, IIRC.

Tony Stark.
Just because of his Part in the Civil War Storyline.

Three Words: Captain America, dammit!

I’ll say…“Her”? Where the hell did that come from? :confused: I copy and pasted the paragraph a few times, but…not enough to do that. Weird.

Tell me about it…I think the Mad Max series had more examples of involved and responsible governments.

IMO, Bruce Wayne. Tony seems like a fun, likeable guy, despite what he’s done (or had done to him), whereas Bruce’s always come across as a broody dick.