“Eine, zwei, drei, funf” Tom said fearlessly.
One that made sense 35 years ago when I heard it: the leader of Yugoslavia hosted the president of Italy at a dinner party and served fried bees. The president was pleasantly surprised by the taste of the bees and told his host “Buon api, Tito.”
Spanish-English
Porque es el mar azul? (Why is the sea blue?)
Porque los pescaditos dicen <fish-lips> “blu, blu, blu” (Because the little fish say “blu, blu, blu”)
There were 3 people, one of whom only spoke French, one of whom only spoke English, and one who spoke English and a little bit of French. Person #1 wanted to say something to person #2 so person #3 offered to translate.
The first person begins: “Mets le bouchon dans le fusil pour tirer la mouche sur le plafond.” (Put the cork in the gun to shoot the fly on the ceiling.)
And the third person translates: “Put the butchen in the fidgeon to shoot the mutchen on the platform.”
I like the late Miles Kington’s suggestion for a motto for the French Navy:
À l’eau - c’est l’heure!
Then of course there’s this famous French literary work (must be read in a very strong French accent for ze full effect…)
Un petit d’un petit
S’etonne aux Halles
Un petit d’un petit
Ah ! degres te fallent
Indolent qui ne sort cesse
Indolent qui ne se mene
Qu’impute un petit d’un petit
Tout gai de Reguennes
The last rhyme is acutally part of a book called The d’Antin manuscript–a bunch of English nursery rhymes translated into phoentic French, with literal translations in the footnotes. My favorite is:
Reine, reine, gueux éveille.
Gomme à gaine, en horreur, taie.
“Queen, Queen, arouse the rabble
Who use their girdles, Horrors, as pillow slips.”
You often run into gags like this studying Latin:
Brutus ad sum iam forte (Brutus had some jam for tea)
Caesar aderat (Caesar had a rat)
Brutus sic in omnibus (Brutus sick in omnibus)
Caesar sic in at. (Caesar sic in hat)
Particularly well know is this bit:
What is this that roareth thus?
Can it be a Motor Bus?
Yes, the smell and hideous hum
Indicat Motorem Bum!
Implet in the Corn and High
Terror me Motoris Bi:
Bo Motori clamitabo
Ne Motore caedar a Bo---
Dative be or Ablative
So thou only let us live:---
Whither shall thy victims flee?
Spare us, spare us, Motor Be!
Thus I sang; and still anigh
Came in hordes Motores Bi,
Et complebat omne forum
Copia Motorum Borum.
How shall wretches live like us
Cincti Bis Motoribus?
Domine, defende nos
Contra hos Motores Bos!Semper ubi sub ubi.
Ubi, o ubi, est meam sub ubi?
Sis was hanging out with a bunch of Peruvians, and told them the classic American joke “Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 ate 9.” Of course, she told it in Spanish which doesn’t exactly convey the humor of the line.
So the Peruvians came up with their own joke, told in English. “What is above your forehead?”. The answer, of course, being “A fivehead!”
Yeah, sometimes bilingual jokes fall a little flat.
Curses! I was going to post that one.
Here’s the older thread, courtesy of Hardly Sanguine
http://boardstest.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=460134
What did the Mexican say when his homework blew out the window?
“Come back, essay.”
Cmon, that was funny.
Answer: 9-W
Question: Herr Wagner, do you spell your name with a ‘V’?