Adamantly declare your show a “No-Spin Zone” and repeat
this often. Soon it will appear that your spin is not really spin!
Make as many vague general statements as you like because:
a)if they don’t pan out, who cares?
b)if they do, then you can take credit for being FIRST to tackle the issue!
Go for the easy targets: politicians and celebrities, and if they don’t know who you are or decline to appear on your show, then portray them as being “afraid” of you because they know
Always refer to yourself as a “reporter” and to your
show as a “news program”, no matter how sensasionalistic the topics
you have chosen. But if someone asks, say you are a “news analyst,”
then you can justify why you are so opinionated.
Label everyone who doesn’t agree with you a “liberal”,
and use as many colorful adjectives as possible when describing the left wing.
Label everyone and everything–you can never label people enough!
However, never use colorful adjectives when describing your
position or that of other conservatives. Portray your position as scientific granite-hard fact!
If you say “I only deal in facts” with enough proud anger, you will easily offset anyone who questions you and they’ll be less likely to demand your proof.
In the rare instance someone does persue proof of your
“facts”, just bulldoze them with questions and opinions to create an air of ‘you-must-be-crazy-to-believe-otherwise’.
If someone continues to demand cited facts, then say “Everyone we’ve talked to says so.” Then book a few selected inconspicuous guests in the future to come on and back your statement. You can easily represent any group’s opinion in any way you want by doing things this way!
Pick several obscure fringe issues to bring up during each show.
It’s, of course, a breeze to be right when ranting about them and
this scores easy sensational-points.
The more questions you can fire at a guest without giving them a chance to answer, the more “authority” status you gain and the more credibility they lose.
Whenever you get into trouble during a debate just align yourself
with the working class. In fact, you can pull out your
“martyr-for-the-struggling-people” act for any tight spot you may find yourself in. Never underestimate how powerful it is to expolit this! A related and untouchable spin is the “martyr-for-the-little-children” act.
If you have a guest who is beating you in debate, simply overpower them with questions, demands for facts, or just change the subject with the segue “Ok, look, let’s get back to the
issue,” and then bring up a new issue. Remember, it is extremely easy to make an unprepared guest look bad.
Inbetween questions make little comments, unfinished question fragments, or subtle sarcastic quips that express what you really think, then quickly interrupt yourself with your next scripted question. These little remarks are pure golden spin!
If you have ever been to a foreign country always bring that fact up, especially if you’ve been to one where violent conflict was occuring (or at least nearby). This is a great defense if ever your ‘journalistic integrity’ is threatened or if you need to interject
some patriotism to throw off a guest.
When all else fails, make a face of pity and say something religious like “Well, I know God blesses you,” or “I
don’t think Jesus would do that, but…”
At the end of every interview just say “We’ll let the viewers decide.” This nicely removes your responsibility for most of the things you’ve just said.
Always take your position to the extreme when dealing with simple mundane issues. This keeps the sensationalism ball rolling.
Bring attention to ALL press you receive, good or bad. Also talk
about press that is NOT about you as if it IS.
End your show with a humble-pie slice of criticism from your viewers, but always remember to follow each little run of bad opinions with one or two of praise. This end-spin is useful in many,
Portray all newspeople as ‘afraid to ask’ the ‘hard-hitting’ questions that you do, and tout that you get ‘serious answers’ even if most of your show is factually impotent. This effective spin is
called the ‘Viagra Tactic’.
- State casually that most American people agree with you… when suddenly questioned, mention the volumes of letters YOU get.
(Stat 101 is dead)
For social problems, blame one of the following:
© San Francisco
(d) Pregnant drug-addicts on welfare
“We offered Mr.X a chance to debate his views but he declined”. Now this issue will be debated by me and one other guy who also agrees with me but is even more fucking hard-core.
25.) Pick a handful of obscure and personal petty gripes, then loudly proclaim that you are the only one willing to tackle those topics.
26.) In the letters segment, always work in a letter which mentions your latest book.
- Enjoy the fact that even those who dislike you watch your show. Thank them for added rating, which leads to increased advertising revenue, which leads to more greenbacks in your pocket.
I don’t watch.
Does he boortz his political opponents by assigning evil motives as the reason for their opinions?
“The people who disagree with me do so because they are against freedom.”
I like Bill.
The guy seems a little crazy, but then again, I take EVERYBODY’s views/opinions with a grain of salt.
The thing that cracks me up is whether the other person is wrong or right, O’Reilly doesn’t even seem to let them finish one sentence. I always imagine that before the show he spends 15 minutes sucking in air then during the show is doing all that talking in one breath, because he doesn’t seem to STOP…maybe thats why he keeps interrupting his guests- he can’t hold his breath forever!
Its funny listening him answer his hate mail. His answers often involve blaming libreals, democrats, foreign powers…basically everybody other tham himself. Something like
Letter: O’Reilly I think you are a racist hatemonger who spews opressive lies under the auspices of a no spin zone.
O’Reilly: Well sir you have me mistaken for the Libreal-Democratic-Jewish-Mexican-Conspiracy (LDJMC) which has brainwashed you with their hippie beatnik rays and have convinced you to get high and write insipid comments to me.
15 minutes, 0 seconds…14 min., 59 sec…14 min., 58 sec…14 min., 57 sec…
Thanks! I like you, too.
- When all else fails, lie.
Always remember that there is no such thing as “context” in either statistics or discourse. If someone said the words “I am against it” when asked their views on puppy-kicking, you can use the quote in your discussion of discount bus fares for war widows. If The Onion reports that 75% of Americans support the euthanasia of Avril Levine, tell your viewers “A well known newspaper reports that 75% of Americans support lethal injection”
Sound bites are most effective tactic best friend. Example:
[ul]B.O.: So the topic tonight is discount bus fares for war widows. Let me play a clip.
video footage: Guest says “I am against it”
Guest: Hey, I didn’t say tha-
B.O. Do you deny that was you on the tape?
Guest: But tha-
B.O. I can assure you that all our viewers can recognize you from the tape. Do you deny that was you?
Guest:No, but it was ta-
B.O. There you have it, my guest admits it was him. My guest obviously does not spend much time with working America. Working America supports discount bus fares for war widows. We’ll be right back after a short break[/ul]
31.) To show your confidence in what you say bet the other guy a $100 that your latest sound bite is correct when he calls you on it. The next day claim you won by changing what you claimed to have said. (I know I’ve harped on this a bit but once he bet a guy on camera $100 that people in the middle east ran the ecstasy trade in holland. The next day he claimed victory when he mentioned there was a link through Israel.)
When all else fails, talk over your guest. If you don’t let them get a word in edgewise, they can’t make you look like a neanderthal.
Say a little prayer to the patron saint of half-assed political talk shows every night. (That would be Morton Downey, Jr., folks…)
Ah, but see, anything less simplistic or lacking of entertainment and shock value would not have the same appeal to those on the right. At least that’s what I assume Kraig T. Kitchen, (CEO of one of the nation’s largest radio syndication arms with the programs of Rush Limbaugh, Michael Reagan and Laura Schlessinger, among others.) would say of O’Reilly’s tactics. As he told the NYT recently:
Want to encite those on the right? Keep it simple and entertaining.
This title completely whooshed me…
[geek mode=cricket status=on]
Bill O’Reilly bowled leg-breaks, googlies and top-spinners for Australia in the decade before WW2, in harness with Bertie Ironmonger (one series), Leslie Fleetwood-Smith (one series) and Clarrie Grimmett (for quite a while). He was all set to be head-and-shoulders the best spin bowler of the 20th century, until Shane Warne happened along and started rewriting the record books. (I don’t count Muttiah Muralitharan. He throws.)
Even as a whinging Pom, I couldn’t understand what there was to complain about in O’Reilly’s spin tactics, still less why anyone should be complaining about it seventy years later. It’s a funny old world, isn’t it?
My husband Joel loves this show. I think he even regurgitates O’Reilly over in the GD forum (which is one of the reasons I don’t go there anymore; it’s just too painful). Thankfully, it’s on pretty early here in the Pacific timezone, and it’s over by the time I get home.
Unfortunately, yesterday was a holiday (never thought I’d say that!) and I told him I didn’t mind if he watched the show (aren’t I a nice wifey?).
The first guest had written a book about how Liberals and lefties hate America. He talked about the peace demonstrations and how they’re evidence that the left across the board hates America. Bill actually tried to reason with him and tell him that he’d talked only to extremists and that not everyone was like that! I was shocked, frankly shocked, because I honestly can’t imagine him arguing with Anne Coulter like that, and she spouts the exact same line! But when I’ve seen Bill mention Ms. Coulter in previous shows, he has referred to her as “a friend of the Fox Network.” So, when an ugly guy says the left is evil and expects Bill to agree because he’s “conservative,” Bill gets all huffy and says, “I’m an independent and you shouldn’t make assumptions because you talked to 40 people out of 100,000, blah blah blah” But when it comes to the blonde she-devil, he’s all, “Anne Coulter, friend of Fox [cue Homer Simpson ecstacy gargle] augggleaugh…” Disgustipating.
Thanks for Otto’s lie link.
Do you think if O’Reilly was confronted with that, he’d admit he lied?
Do the Pope shit in the woods?
Do Bush take it up the ass by Big business?
Is the sky blue?
Morton Downey was much more entertaining, and he actually let someone else talk. He only talks back when he catches someone in a perceived inconsistency, like ancient Greeks used to do during debates.
Fakers like Bill O’ don’t hold a candle to him. Bill’ O’ harks back to one of those Southern talk show hosts who never let someone else get a word in edgewise.
Good on you, Malacandra, let’s see how long we can keep parallel threads going under the one heading, and keep talking at cross-purposes like this latter-day O’Reilly.
Isn’t Warney the biggest dope around? When the B sample result is released, and the ‘one’ diuretic pill becomes ‘a few’, I think Warney will claim that he has more than one mother.
BTW Bradman said O’Reilly was the best bowler he ever faced. This was nice of him, as he was very critical of O’Reilly behind his back, him being a catholic and a republican, and all.
I’ll see your Simpsons reference and raise you another: “Rock Bottom”!
“Dramatization. May not have happened!”