“How hard do we want it?”
“Eighteen inches ice-blue jelly!”
[QUOTE=Metacom]
Convict A: I’m in for murdering my toddler and eating his still-beating heart.
Convict B: I’m in for getting smashed and driving my car into a minivan.
Convict C: I stole $2,000 worth of tools from my employer.
Convict D: I had a vibrator!
[Alice’s Restaurant]
And convicts A,B and C all moved away from her on the bench.
[/Alice’s]
On a hill overlooking Columbia, a tough as nails detective in a brown trench coat looks down at the city lights and shakes his fist:
“I’ll find you Dildo Baron, where ever you are”
And a distant yell answers from the town below: “No you won’t”
We need a modern-day Tom Joad in South Carolina. A man with courage in his heart, a dildo in his fist, and a butt plug in his… hand. I can almost hear his voice now.
“I’ll be aroun’ in the dark. I’ll be everywhere-wherever you look. Wherever there is a fight so horny people can get off, I’ll be there. Wherever there is a cop beatin’ up a guy ridin’ a Sybian, I’ll be there… I’ll be in the way women yell when they didn’t quite get there and need a ‘friend’ to help ‘em finish. I’ll be in the way kids laugh when they’re alone and they know it’s time to bust out the cock rings, and when the people are clampin’ the electrodes on their nipples and livin’ in the houses they build - I’ll be there, too.”
Was that from The Gropes of Wrath?
“Yes I Will!”
“D’oh!” 
More or less.
Sure, they’ll be the ones with all of the sex toys.
Join us next month, when South Carolina bans dancing, other religions, and fun!
Cliche, I know. But sometimes you have to:
“South Carolina: too small for a nation, too large for a lunatic asylum.”
Hmmmm…says here that the state motto of the great state of South Carolina is:
Dum Spiro Spero" - While I breathe, I hope
there seem to be too many jokes in there for just one post. Carry on!
I’m assuming that it isn’t just dildos and vibrators that are to be contraband, but also pocket pussies, and blow up dolls as well, correct? looks at the forum the OP is in That is messed up! I wonder if the same ideas that got the various anti-oral sex laws stricken in several states could be applied to crush this trend? Sexuality is something that to me, is as personal as spirituality/religion. Within certain boundaries that are set up for the good of society as a whole, it should not be limited AT ALL. When I say “certain boundaries” I mean things like: you can’t headhunt, or eat human flesh, or sacrifice a blond virgin boy to the Holy Lightbulb of Doom, nor can you have sex with children etc. Those restrictions I can understand and agree with, they are like the rules for the form of a Sonnet or Haiku, you follow the boundaries in order to express yourself.
And now, I have the perfect answer for the next time my mother asks me if I’d like to relocate to Charleston to be closer to her and Dad.
“Well, Mom, if it weren’t enough that I don’t like the weather and you and I will end up killing each other if we have to interact too often, now I’ll be a criminal from the moment I cross the border.”
They can’t pass this! It would doom the “dirty old man” shop at South of the Border!
I think Qadgop is a tad late with his April Fool’s joke.
Curious fact: Carrboro, N.C., is home to Adam & Eve, one of the country’s largest adult novelty retailers.
Worse case is they’ll bring back the traditional South Carolinian sex toys: slaves.
"Firm-yet-flexible!..and with the clit-banger and the humming and vibrating, I’d assume…and the pretty colors…and the mp3 player…and the microwave…the egg beater…drink stirrer…and the pneumatic drill press add-on…
While it may be risible, it’s no joke.