birthdays

Would you be upset if your SO of 5 yrs forgot your birthday? He mentioned nothing at all… just a simple Happy Birthday would have been fine…

No, but we don’t pay much attention to birthdays at Casa Fidelius.

How you treat each other on the other 364 days of the year is far more significant than what is said on one day.

I don’t think there is a factual answer here. It sounds like you are asking for an opinion. This is better suited in IMHO.

But to answer your question, I would probably be upset, unless my SO was just a forgetful person in general. Does he/she remember other people’s birthdays but just not yours?

If I’ve posted in the wrong forum I’m sorry… I’m new here and just getting used to it… If you can tell me how to delete this question from here I’d be happy to.

Was your birthday today?

yesterday

Don’t worry-I reported it using that little red triangle with the exclamation point in it, and a moderator will probably be by shortly to move it.

They don’t delete threads here(except spam or socks). A mod will move it to the correct forum. It’s no big deal. No harm no foul.

Happy belated birthday!

Yes, I would be upset. Birthday’s aren’t a huge deal in our house, but we do generally get each other a card and small gift.

How have you previously celebrated your birthdays with each other?

Most of the time we are on holidays and dont have a whole lot of money so just a simple card and a happy birthday wish is good. We dont go to extremes. His is in December so it’s so close to xmas we dont do birthday gifts.

So it definitely sounds like unusual behaviour from him. How is your relationship in general? Do you plan on telling him that he forgot your birthday?

You should this time-a small bouquet of forget-me-nots.

I’m not telling him…I’m going to wait til someone else mentions it and then hopefully he’ll be ashamed of himself. He is a very self absorbed person anyways… I don’t know why I thought he’d remember. Wishful thinking I guess. lol

I figured his only got 4 days to remember his parents bday and his daughter and myself… his dad and daughter are both in April and his mom and me are both in August…

Sorry I guess I just had to vent!

So…you’re going to spend the next few days being mad at him, without telling him why, in the hopes that someone else will tell him? Does that sound mature to you?

Happy belated brithday.

Moved from General Questions to IMHO.

samclem, Moderator

I must agree with sandra.
That trick never works. All you wil accomplish is to make him feel that you are angry for no reason at all. If you have a gripe, mention it. That’s called “communication” and is a very good basis for a relationship.

First - Happy Belated Birthday

Second - sandra is right. Tell him it hurt your feelings and that you need for him to remember these few dates. Heck if you want to volunteer to remember his parents for him. If he uses an electronic calendaring system to keep track of appointments put everyone’s (including yours) birthdays in it.

Third - (you can swap this into second place if it works better for you) Do something for yourself for your birthday. Take a couple hours to do something that makes you happy just for you.

It would definitely hurt my feelings.

BUT your strategy for dealing with it is kind of immature, too. Do mention it to him. Do NOT shame him. This will bite you in the ass for sure. Get some kind of plan in place that will ensure that your birthday is not overlooked in the future.

As my birthday drew to a close and he said nothing, I’d have crawled onto his lap and said something like, “I’m getting anxious because it’s 11 PM and there’s only one hour left in my birthday-- which is today-- and the day won’t be complete for me until I hear ‘Happy Birthday’ from your own two lips!” (said in a lighthearted mock/anxitey sort of way)

You’re supposed to make it *easy *for someone to love you, not set up tests and trials! You’ve been together FIVE years? If he has remembered your B-day in the past, then maybe something else is up. If y’all are still together next year, I’d blatantly remind him the week/day before. Put a post-it on the bathroom mirror or something.

A belated happy birthday, wenrid. I agree with the others, don’t pout in silence. If it matters to you, say or do something now.

My SO seems to have a mental block about my birthday. He remembers that I have one around this time of year (it’s today, actually) but he can’t remember whether it’s August or September, let alone which date.

I don’t really take it personally, that’s just the way he is. So I just make sure to say something a few weeks in advance, and make sure it’s written on his calendar.
Roddy