Bitch, please. (long)(totally lame)

TLDR version: I irritated the boss’s wife, and she got me fired, but they forgot about my health issue and unfired me until I find out the extent of my health issue and when my health issue is resolved or deemed a non-issue, I’m fired again. Have a great weekend!

Long, boring version:

This week has been a week out of the twight zone. Monday, I go to lunch with my bosses. We meet a couple of judges, and I’m introduced as the best paralegal in town. I then have to inform them that those pesky precancerous cervical cells are back, one rung higher on the scale, biopsy on the 11th, so pretty much unknown at the moment, but we’re thinking positive with just another freeze. Yippee. I’m not all that concerned, it’ll be the same old drill from 2.5 years ago (I took all 3 days of missed work as vacation); however, with young kids, I am a tad disconcerted. The bosses are supportive.

Tuesday I get a call from one of the boss’s wife. She has become our defacto office manager. If we need letterhead paper we have to contact her. Only she can order it from her buddy. :rolleyes: Whatever, I don’t care. My entire interaction with this woman is generally ‘Hi, how ya doing?’ We chit chat about crap for 2 mins, and she’s gone. The last time I spoke with her for any length of time was last Christmas.

Anyhow, she calls because she’s got question about Word. She wants me to create a macro that will imbed a header and footer in a document “with a couple of key thingies” (she said thingies) and the same “key thingies” to remove it. After 5 mins of talking I understand her to want me to take the PDF of our letterhead that she has on a “disc rom” and insert it in and out of documents because she doesn’t want to buy paper from her friend anymore, nor does she want proof of us having the letterhead on our server. Besides the ethical dilemma, it seems like a hell of a lot of work when all we want to do is print a fucking letter. Printing the letterhead ourselves was out of the question. Why? She didn’t say. I tell her that I don’t know if Word is capable, and if it was, that I don’t know how to do it. I suggest she call her friend who created our letterhead. She goes apeshit crazy about how I am NOT allowed to contact friend, I am NOT to discuss this with anyone. I apologize again and tell her it’s over my head. In my head, I’m thinking she’s a fucking thieving, unethical bitch for wanting to screw over her friend.

Wednesday I come in and am informed that I need to find a job before the end of the year. I am, shall we say, stunned. There is nothing in my personnel file except glowing reviews. I have never once been called onto the carpet. I’m told: It’s not your work, that’s top notch! It’s solely because of a personality conflict with the boss’s wife. The one I speak to once a year. The attorney I’ve been with tells me she’s really sorry but she can’t do anything about it. Nevermind that her name is 2nd on the letterhead. But hey, I’ll buy that her hands are tied. I tell her I can’t believe I’m getting fired for somethig so trivial. She tells me repeatedly I’m not fired, that we just want you to get another job, you know, before the end of the year, but you aren’t fired. :rolleyes:

Thursday, the attorney I work with comes in to tell me that she’s so royally fucked. She sat in my office for 10 mins belaboring her impending hell (though I did get a chuckle that boss’s wife will be screening applicants). I really wanted to be sympathetic, but I’m having a hard time dredging it up for her. I sit there listening until she asks if there anything is wrong. Really? Anything wrong? I tell her that I’ve been with her for 11 years, we’ve been here for just shy of 6, and while I know everyone is replaceable, I find it odd that I got ‘sick’ again and all the sudden I am fired (she interrupted me to tell me I wasn’t fired), during the holiday months when no one is hiring, and (left unsaid b/c I lacked the stones: out the bonuses on 3 cases that I was the main paralegal on that just settled). Now I have to go on job interviews bandying about my health issues so my potential employers are aware that I might/will probably need to take time off. Makes for a great interview huh? She looks shocked and tells me “all deals are off the table. We ‘under valued’ your health issue.”

Under valued my health issue?? Huh? Seems from Monday to Wednesday they totally forgot about my ‘health issue’. But rest assured that my ‘health issue’ had nothing to do with the firing. Really it is all because of my personality conflict with the wife. Repeat ad nauseum.

She ends the meeting with the pearl that I don’t have to worry about losing my job UNTIL AFTER the biopsy results. So don’t worry, put your personal pictures back up, bring back your lamp, blah blah blah. Seriously? Boss man finally stops hiding in his office and pretends like nothing has happened. My priority workload doubled.

Today boss lady comes in and reiterates that I have nothing to worry about for the time being and to just work as if nothing has been said to me. Forget the last couple of days, they never happened. :dubious: The kicker was 10 mins later when she asked if I could draft a document outlining how I do things, where I put things, how to keep the calendar system, etc. All the duties of the main litigation paralegal. She wants nothing to change with my leaving…but but but, I thought you just said…:confused:

Boss’s wife: You fucking pretentious, pea-brained, hag-faced, thievin’ primadona. Christ I wish I could think of more to say about you, but that’s all I’ve got left. Boss man: grow a fucking pair, you fucking tool. Boss lady: I’m more hurt by her than angry at the moment. She was counted as a friend, with whom I have shared holidays, baby births, BBQs. However, I understand her position, or at least want to. But really? a procedure manual? I’ll get right on that.

Yeah, business is business, and they can and will get along fine without me. But that Karma? She’s a bitch.

If your boss’s name is second on the letterhead then she’s presumably a partner in the firm. The fact that she didn’t stick up for you when the big boss’s wife started whining is inexcusable. Maybe you’re better off without her, anyway.

I admit I started skimming through your screed almost immediately. Can I assume you are a Hot Irish Chick being fucked over by a Political Turd? Because, otherwise, I can find few reasons to care.

BIG :wink: ! I really AM on the side of people who are fucked over by their company’s insurance.

WITHOUT my assholeish comments: Typically, fuck with an agnostic and you fuck with someone who knows the rules better than you. Er, motherfuckers

AngryIrishLass, wow, that is horrible!! I suggest you consult with an employment law attorney or your state employment department ASAP. Make sure you have a copy of your personnel file with your good reviews, and detailed written records of everything that happened. DO NOT let them get away with this!!

I can’t believe the woman you have worked with for 11 years would not stand up for you. Do you think she is afraid that sticking up for you would put her job in jeopardy?

Keep us updated!!

I can totally solve your letterhead problem by providing the firm with affordable, pre-printed letterhead. On the condition that only you can place orders for the firm.

For the record, what boss’s wife wanted to do between PDFs and Word is so mollusk headed, my brain bled a little.

May I suggest consulting a solicitor outside your firm?

Also, depending on your “read” of the situation and the advice of the solicitor, you may want to let them know that you are getting outside legal advice.

Frankly, it sounds like they’ve realized they’re opening themselves up to serious risk (litigation-wise) and are trying to cover their asses.

Wish you all the best.

Please don’t leave. Make them fire you. It would be nice for them if they could say you left voluntarily. Line up a different job if you can of course.

I understood about half of the OP, but having been fucked over by management before, I sympathize. They’re actually trying to fire you without admitting that they’re firing you?

A second to the opinion that you should NOT quit, especially if you have not already found another job. It would jeopardize any possibility of collecting unemployment, for one thing.

Ooops. Just noticed you seem to be in the UK. I have no idea what the rules are there.

Yeah my boss lady is a partner, but I really think that she’s sunk so much money into the new advertising campaign (billboards…ugh!), remodeling, and new letterhead (all directed and conducted by The Wife) that she really can’t fight this. She’s just too financially tied to these people.

I’m undecided on what to do. Part of me wants to keep them in the dark about the status of the biopsy and just wait it out and make them fire me. However, I have never been fired from a job, and I do have that pesky mortgage. Part of me wants to leave w/o giving any notice, but I don’t like burning bridges. I will probably just start looking for a job.

We do employment law, so all of us know that they screwed up, but realistically I’m not really looking at anything substantive. They would continue to say that once they remembered my health issue that they removed the deadline for me to leave. I am still essentially fired, but not until after the health issue is resolved, so they can circumvent any accusations that I was fired because of it. I live in a state where I can be fired for my nail polish color, so I can be fired because of a personality conflict with the boss’s wife.

My impression and based on prior actions they’ve done, they don’t want to pay unemployment. 6 months ago they fired a typist who couldn’t type more than 30wpm (you’d think we’d have instituted a typing test as a part of the hiring procedure by now). They called her in, told her she wasn’t working, but that she could stay until she found other employment. She walked out, filed for unemployment, and got it. The firm appealed it out the wahzoo, but in the end she still won.

Pulletif your brain bled reading it, imagine being in the actual 20 min conversation.

Yes Baldwinthat is exactly what they are doing. MLS, I am in the US. I really think this boils down to not wanting to pay unemployment.

Karma rarely strikes the ruthless and merciless. On the contrary, they seem to prosper and grow wealthy. My former boss from two jobs ago, who abruptly laid off both me and my fellow senior manager for the sole purpose of making it look like he was making money for the company, was subsequently promoted to the head office in Colorado, where I hope he is killed in an avalanche. People like that almost never get what’s coming to them. The sad truth is that in order to succeed - and I mean really succeed - in business, it’s almost a requirement that you conduct yourself in the same sleazy, underhanded way as those who you despise conduct themselves.

But can you be fired for refusing to commit theft of intellectual property, or whatever it is?

It sounds like the Boss’s wife wants to rip off the original printer for the design(?) of the letterhead, and doesn’t want anyone who knows about it around.

Maybe you should have a one-on-one with your boss, and let her know what’s really going on.

And call those judges you met on Monday; just to find out if they have any leads for work.

Whatever you do, don’t write that procedural manual. It’s your leverage for getting your bonus from the other cases or some other consideration.

I am always hearing horror stories of wives working as office managers in their husband’s business and getting away with all sorts of bitchy crap. I feel for you and I would not write that manual for them either, bitchy wife can do it.

A procedures manual, eh? They’ve got some titanium balls on 'em, don’t they?

Whether you quit or force them to fire you, I hope that once you’ve severed from them you contact the creator of the letterhead and suggest he check into why they haven’t placed an order with him lately, even though they’re still using his design on their correspondence.

Does this fall under some whistleblower law? Are you being fired for supposedly trying to uncover illegal activity?

Write everything down.

“Look, bitchy wife. You’re not going to fire me. You’ve given me too much ammo already. I know you’re stealing intellectual property. I know you’re firing me for my health issue. You’re just waiting a few months so it doesn’t look that way. I think the judge will see through it. Lastly, if you fire me, the boss comes with me. She won’t say it to your face, but she’s promised me directly that she goes where I go, especially under these circumstances. The longer we drag this whole ‘firing me’ thing out, the worse work you’ll get from me. Not ‘less’ work, but ‘worse’…as in, you’ll lose every case I touch unless you go over it with a fine-toothed comb. You need me. Now let’s not hear any more of this silly business.”