Black Scorpion = Total Drivel

If you are a fan of Fox’s Dark Angel or the Chameleon series of movies on Sci-Fi, you might be considering checking out the new series on Sci-Fi, Black Scorpion. Don’t bother. To call Black Scorpion cartoonish is an insult to cartoons. Inane dialog, preposturous situations and zero-dimensional characters make this show so imbecilic it outranks sniffing glue as a danger to your brain. Of course, if all you want is to watch a babe in bulletproof vinyl thump people, then go ahead. But you have been warned.

Babe-TOTAL babe- in lots of black leather- but still cut to show off her tits & ass, with thigh-high heeled boots- and you don’t like it!!! Are you freaken crazy?!?
However, best way to watch it is to record it, and fastforward thru any scene where she is not prancing around. Oh, and NEVER turn the sound on.

Danielinthewolvesden’s description of how to watch this show reminded me of the time I heard two LA morning sports talk hosts get chastized for telling their listeners that the proper way to watch Baywatch “is with the sound off, and your pants down.” :stuck_out_tongue:

I can’t COMPLETELY vote against a television show that gives so many Playboy Playmates acting opportunities. But I doubt I’ll get around to watching it, in any case.

Cartoonish…inane…preposturous. Reminds me of…oh yes, Dark Angel.

Relax, dude. All television sucks. (Except for The Simpsons and The West Wing.)

The sooner you realize this, the better off you’ll be. Now go crack open a beer and watch a titflick on Skinemax

Yeah! I was checking out Sci Fi to make sure I wasn’t missing Farscape (which is, undoubtably, the best science fiction series currently in production) and found myself watching Black Scorpion. I didn’t know what it was. My first impression was that it looked kind of like Robocop the series (and that’s not what I’d call a glowing recommendation), but much, much, much more stupid.

I can only assume that they were trying to be ironic (in which case they failed) or that they were marketing a playmate in black leather to an audience of mentally-impaired five-year-olds.

Word.

Black Scorpion stunk. All it needed was a couple of robot profiles in the bottom righthand side of the screen.

I can’t quite figure out the Sci Fi Channel. Half the time their production values are damn impressive, e.g. all those cool computer animations they play between shows. Half the time it seems like their programming budget must have been, well, pissed away on the cool computer animations they play between shows. Not only do they deliver low budget, poorly acted drivel like Black Scorpion but every holiday weekend they run marathons of the same crappy films.

Yep, I caught it too as I was waiting for Farscape to start.

Frankly, if you’re going to have a show with that bad of dialog, plot lines, and cheesy effects you need to show even more skin than they are showing. Black leather is nice and all, but the dumber the show, the less clothing there should be -ala the baywatch example. In Black Scorpion’s case she should be wearing a thumbsize patch just above her left ankle and nothing else.

I’ve heard this show was produced by Roger Corman, so really…what would you expect out of it? I haven’t seen it, but I suppose it might be amusing to look at if I was in a really goofy mood one night.

And, well, the gratuitous T&A is certainly a great selling point.

Surprisingly, the Secret Adventures of Jules Verne which has a similarly ridiculous premise and which follows Black Scorpion is actually quite watchable. Decent acting and good sets.

At least it wasn’t Bikini Bandits Part 8 presented by Maxim. (see http://www.atomfilms.com/