<Complete nonsense follows>
(AP, Reuters, CNN, MSNBC, and every fucking news org that has way too much time and too little news) - US sources have announced today thay they plan on establishing a base inside Afghanistan. We’ve uploaded the exact coordinates of the base with a 3d relief map for you to view on our website. Our sources tell us that there will be some 600 US troops based inside this camp and that the best route of attack for the Taliban would be from the Southeast. The soldiers inside the camp will be armed with 4 heavy machine-guns, a large number of M-16 rifles, and helicopter support. However, a full scale assualt by the Taliban could over-run the base. If the Taliban time their attack for private Miller’s watch (around 12:30) it could pose a problem for US forces as private Miller likes to sneak a smoke break now and then. We are unable to to reveal private Miller’s first name and birth mother for security reasons.
Back on the homefront the number of Anthrax deaths has increased by 300% since Sept 11th. If this rate of increase continues, you will be dead by next week. In the meantime, stay tuned for further developments.
Um… no relation! Um… as usual the press got it’s report wrong. It’s private Chorbvolsky.
The Canadian media is just as bad, announcing every day how we are totally UNPREPARED, and have NO DEFENSES against smallpox, anthrax, suicide hijackers, etc etc ad nauseum.
I mean, come the fuck on!!! YES we the public have a thirst for knowledge, but has the govt NO secrets left??
They were saying todya how many million people travel underground in Toronto, and how impact at a certain place would do X amount of damage.
Fuck, make the plans and MAIL them to Bin Laden why dont you!
I cant even imagine how hard it is to be american, feeling like a target and having your media do this, its terrifying really.
Oh, and thanks alot media boneheads on reporting on the level of security in all the airports, greeeeaaat idea, really.
<shakes head> We are doomed.
I’m also getting sick of falling for the “LIVE REPORT!” gig. I’ll be surfing and I’ll see some reporter on site somewhere with the big LIVE! logo by his or her head and I’ll think, whoa, something else happened! But it turns out that said reporter is just standing in front of some ugly mail-sorting building somewhere reporting the same information about anthrax spores we heard 24 hours ago.