Did I sound surprised? I’m not. Again, saddened, but not surprised. And disheartened at how many *women *seem to buy into it.
Or unless both are crimes that people want to avoid being subjected to.
I’ve done all this, but sexual assaults continue to happen. So the guarantee didn’t work.
Regards,
Shodan
And yet no one has compared it to say, murder, which is also a crime one would think most people wish to avoid being subjected to. It’s not like anyone has said “Well, if you don’t want to be killed, don’t go being all careless with your alive-ness, just tempting people to take it.”
It happens without fail whenever the issue of rape comes up. Someone always wants to compare it to being robbed. Although, as I said above, when I was robbed no one questioned my story or said it was my own stupid fault for leaving my bag unattended or suggested that I could have stopped the theft from occurring if I’d really wanted to.
It would be nice if rape victims could be treated with the same compassion as victims of theft.
Reminds me of a Wanda Sykes routine–detachable vagina. She talks about how wouldn’t it be nice if we could just put them somewhere (because we’re taught from childhood how they are valuable) and then just go around doing whatever we want till we need them.
But if everyone followed these rules, there’d be no more rape. Not so if everyone followed the rape prevention methods offered to potential victims.
They also haven’t compared it to drunk driving. So what?
I am not sure what your point was supposed to be. The purpose of the comparison between rape and theft was that both are crimes, and there are steps that can be taken to reduce the risk of experiencing each. Those steps are by no means guaranteed, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be taken.
It also doesn’t demean the victim to mention that risks can be reduced.
If you put your child into a properly designed safety seat, their risk of dying in a car crash goes down. But anyone who mentions that thinks that children’s lives are just a commodity.
:rolleyes:
Regards,
Shodan
But that’s just it. Most people getting raped aren’t going in these obviously dangerous dark alleys with cackling moustached rapists in trenchcoats. All the stories I’ve heard of rape are people who have been hanging out with guys that they knew or who knew their friends. These rapes take place in apartments and houses, not out on the street.
Actually, that’s a pretty interesting point. After all, saying “you can reduce your risk of being raped by not walking alone at night” is pretty comparable to saying “you can reduce your risk of being hit by a drunk driver by staying off the streets”. Not really a viable option, ya know?
Suggesting that one use a seatbelt is not comparable to saying that a grown woman should not walk around by herself.
I wasn’t aware that anyone guaranteed that following the rape prevention methods you mention would mean that you would never, ever be raped. I used to teach rape prevention and self-defense, and I certainly never made such a claim.
But not everyone follows the rules I reposted. That’s my point - this is not a perfect world. One can either admit that fact, and take reasonable steps to reduce - not eliminate, reduce - one’s risk. Or one can insist “I shouldn’t have to do anything!” Which is true, but irrelevant.
Shit shouldn’t happen. But it does. Lament that fact if you like, but it won’t change anything.
Regards,
Shodan
Avoiding dark alleys is hardly the only way to reduce the risk of rape.
If you feel as strong a need to walk the streets alone at night as you do to drive, I suppose you should go ahead. As long as you are aware that you are taking a risk, and all the “That shouldn’t be true!” in the world won’t change that.
Regards,
Shodan
I feel a very strong need to walk the streets alone at night, since I don’t drive. I suppose that marginally increases my risk of being raped, but hey, it entirely eliminates my risk of being in a car accident.
I’m not saying that the risk can’t be reduced, I’m saying that you would never suggest that the best way to avoid car accidents is to not drive.
Plus most places are pretty safe at night. I live in NYC and almost every street is well lit, people are around, etc. I’ve never felt unsafe or at risk. The one time I was the victim of a sexual assault it wasn’t even dark. I mean almost everyone I know walks around at night–I don’t know anyone who shuts themselves in because they can’t find a chaperon or because it’s dark out.
Regards,
Shodan
It’s true, I occasionally get in a car. And see what happens?
Is this your cutesy way of conceding my point?
I was raped in my own home, by a stranger that broke in. He was never found, but I don’t think the police tried too hard to find him. The only contact I had with them was about two weeks after the event, when they came by with some pictures and asked if he was “one of these” I pointed to one, because he looked just like the guy, and the cops seemed disappointed. Said they’d be in touch later. Next day the newspaper has a picture of an alleged murderer and his face was one of the other pics I’d looked at.
A few days after my assault an article appeared in the paper about rapes happening in a certain city area. Based on what they said I think I was “#3”, and eventually there were six.
I didn’t tell most of my family for a long time, but my husband, who was at work during the assault, never blamed me, just wanted to tear the rapist apart. We eventually split up, but that was never an issue, and his sympathy at the time is why I didn’t hate him even though we divorced.
So you think it also applies to lynchings? That people in oppressed minority groups who’ve been lynched are potentially at least partially responsible for being murdered and tortured?
Apparently you need this spelled out. The list is a satire of the traditional “how to stop rape from happening to you” advice. Therefore, it’s a “how to stop yourself from committing rape” list. The only way you could say it didn’t work would be if you followed every instruction and still raped someone. So, are you saying you raped someone, or did the joke just go over your head?
You know, in the legend of the Vampire, the vampire can only enter your house if you invite them inside.
Blaming the victim has a strong grip on our subconscious. I believe it makes us feel safer in a sick and twisted way.
I don’t think it’s a “sick and twisted” way–I think it’s a very sensical way and the only problem with it (heh) is that it has absolutely no relation to reality. People like to think that they can control their lives, that they can control what happens to them, that if they do all of the “right” things they can avoid bad things. Blaming the victim helps them assure themselves that it will never happen to them, because they wouldn’t make the same mistakes.
It doesn’t change the fact that the person still has a cold, so trying to get them to admit that does nothing. In fact, if it were a better analogy, it would instead involce some hypothetical disease which would be exacerbated by trying to get the person to admit that they didn’t do everything they could have.
Also, no one does everything they could have. Person B cannot exist unless the situation involves Person B living in a sanitized, hermetically sealed bubble or something similarly extreme. So the analogy doesn’t work and is quite frankly offensive if you think about it.