I read the title and thought I’d chime in. Turns out I’m a moron. My wife and I are white, and we adopted a bi-racial baby. I thought we were blended. :smack:
I am sofa king … you get the idea.
Dunnow, the oldest “blended” family I know did end up with his daughters changing their lastnames to reflect hers when the eldest turned 18 - it was her “I’m 18 today” present to her mother and the youngest said she wanted to do it too, so they went ahead and ran the adoption. The sisters would rip a new one on any idiot who said “oh, but why do you refer to her as ‘my mother’? She’s your stepmother!”
Three friends of mine are from a family where their mothers’ generation comes from five different marriages (no divorces, either the husband or the wife died, the survivor remarried). The ones from the 4th and 5th marriage aren’t blood relationships to those from the 1st, but if you want a free visit to the local hospital, go to a family meet and claim they can’t call each other brother. 22 siblings and their children and grandchildren will disagree with you, forcefully.
My family wasn’t blended, but we all had different needs and related to each of our parents differently. Loving all children equally doesn’t mean treating them all exactly the same - it means treating each one according to his needs (as **WhyNot **pointed out). This is true whether the family is blended, single-marriage, monoparental or whichever other way you can think of.
Blending and steps aside, how is your wife’s relationship with HER mother? I’m sure there will be many who disagree, but my observation is that some parents (both mothers and fathers) treat sons and daughters differently.
My son’s stepfather was raised in a boisterous demonstrative family and is more affectionate with my son than his father is. My ex was raised in a “boys don’t hug boys” environment.
My mother and her mother were like oil and water. My mother and I are like oil and water…I don’t have a daughter, and if the stories about my grandmother and her mother are true that’s probably a good thing. As cold and distant as she is I still believe my mom loves me.