Blender's Worst Song List - Are you kidding me??

Wow, I must be the only one that truly truly hates that fucking Starship song. I so dearly hate “We Built This City”. I actually agree with that as number one. Just bad bad bad.

Especially the part about two wild guitars. He screams out about two wild guitars, and the mildest guitar part I’ve ever heard comes next. Whew, that was wild.

Man, I hate that song. Hate hate hate.

Hmmm, a young (and I’m fairly sure struggling) magazine puts out a list of the 100 “worst” songs that just happens to have several songs that are very well liked (and even at least one beatles song :eek: ) on it, and now we’re all talking about it.

I wonder why they did that?

I can’t understand why everyone has bn t list so seriously. I’ve seen it mentioned on various forums and news sites. What’s the big deal? Is there anything that seperates this list from all the others? Am I missing something? I rather like some of the songs on the list.

I do agree with no. 4 though. I hate that Rollin’ song.

I did a search for the whole list - couldn’t find it, but I didn’t try too hard - and I got the impression that Blender does a lot of these lists. Why? 1) controversy, 2) news outlets inexplicably write articles about it, so they get free publicity. So maybe these guys aren’t as incredibly, mind-meltingly stupid and jarringly immature as they appear. But probably they are. Anyway, I managed to find the Top 10. They are:

  1. We Built This City (Starship)
  2. Achy Breaky Heart (Billy Ray Cyrus)
  3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight (Wang Chung)
  4. Rollin’ (Limp Bizkit)
  5. Ice Ice Baby (Vanilla Ice)
  6. The Heart of Rock & Roll (Huey Lewis & The News)
  7. Don’t Worry, Be Happy (Bobby McFerrin)
  8. Party All the Time (Eddie Murphy)
  9. American Life (Madonna)
  10. Ebony and Ivory (Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder)

Since someone mentioned the Four Tops, I thought of Sherry by the Four Seasons. Now I’m going to kill someone. DAMMIT.

Anyway, I’m thrilled Toby Keith is on there. I can’t stand that jackass.

No, I’m with you on this one. I agree some of those are just cheesy 80s songs, but that song grates on me, and always has. It’s one of the songs for me, which gives me the opposite of chills. I’d liken it to stinging nettles - not painful enough to cry over, but almost impossible to placidly ignore.

By the way, songs like Who Let the Dogs Out and the Macarena were deliberately excluded. They said songs like that were deliberately cheesy and shouldn’t be counted, which does make sense to me - unlike picking The Sounds of Silence, which can’t be “worst” anything for the music and the harmonies alone, nevermind the words or its appearance in The Graduate.

The USA Today article was better. (Never thought I’d say that!)

They mentioned that they had to be hits and couldn’t intentionally be cheesey.

They also list Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On,” which just shows how silly this all is. There was obviously a lot of Titanic-based backlash from the overwhelming popularity of the movie which has caused the “cynically hip” set to disdain not just the movie itself, but Celine Dion and that song by association. But to put it on anything remotely resembling a “worst song” list - even if one has a general dislike of mainstream pop ballads - completely destroys any credibility the list might have had as musical critique.

As far as “We Built This CIty”, I never hated it (when it was released). Granted, it seems as if it is a self-congtaulatory tribute as if they invented Rock and Roll™ and all others need not apply. Still, the thing that made me lose all respect for that song was that it was used by some corporate mega-giant (the kind that advetises on “Meet the Press”) and if that wasn’t a big enough sell-out, they changed the words to suit the commercial - “we built this business !!”
“Sounds of Silence” has trivial junior-high lyrics ??? The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and the tenement halls. Geez I sure as Hell never wrote stuff like that in junior high.
I nominate ANY Disco song to permanent banishment. How about “Fly Robin Fly” ? The words consist of “Fly Robin Fly…Up Up to the Sky” - that’s it !!!
And they had the temerity to call “Sounds of Silence” trivial lyrics??

And as someone else said - it’s just a list. Just someone’s opinion. Nothing more.

I’d believe that were it not for the fact that when Blender did their “100 Worst Artists of All Time” issue, they only printed several letters responding to their choices in subsequent issues (and, of those, at least half agreed with them). (BTW, I don’t subscribe to Blender or even read it regularly. I was just curious about the reaction they would get to their picks. :rolleyes: ) I would not be surprised it they do the same thing with regards to reaction to their choices for the “100 Worst Rock Songs of All Time.” You’ll probably on see about three letters debating their list.

I think in terms of their readership, Blender is just preaching to the choir with their choices so there will probably be minimal disagreement. Most Blender readers are too young to remember all the popular crappy songs put out during the 70’s so that’s why there’s a relative dearth of them on the list when compared with the 80’s. As for some of the older songs, the Beatles “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Dah” is likely included because even John Lennon hated it and the scribes at Blender also get off at attacking their idols of Baby Boomers (which is likely why “Sounds of Silence” and “The End” are also on the list).

Here’s the list:

  1. We Built This City … Starship … 1985

  2. Achy Breaky Heart … Billy Ray Cyrus … 1992

  3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight … Wang Chung … 1986

  4. Rollin’ … Limp Bizkit … 2000

  5. Ice Ice Baby … Vanilla Ice … 1990

  6. The Heart of Rock & Roll … Huey Lewis and the News … 1984

  7. Don’t Worry, Be Happy … Bobby McFerrin … 1988

  8. Party All the Time … Eddie Murphy … 1985

  9. American Life … Madonna … 2003

  10. Ebony and Ivory … Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder … 1982

  11. Invisible … Clay Aiken … 2003

  12. Kokomo … The Beach Boys … 1988

  13. Illegal Alien … Genesis … 1983

  14. From a Distance … Bette Midler … 1990

  15. I’ll Be There for You … The Rembrandts … 1995

  16. What’s Up? … 4 Non Blondes … 1993

  17. Pumps and a Bump … Hammer … 1994

  18. You’re the Inspiration … Chicago … 1984

  19. Broken Wings … Mr. Mister … 1985

  20. Dancing on the Ceiling … Lionel Richie … 1986

  21. Two Princes … Spin Doctors … 1992

  22. Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) … Toby Keith … 2002

  23. Sunglasses at Night … Corey Hart … 1984

  24. Five for Fighting … Superman … 2000

  25. I’ll Be Missing You … Puff Daddy featuring Faith Evans and 112 … 1997

  26. The End … The Doors … 1967

  27. The Final Countdown … Europe … 1987

  28. Your Body Is a Wonderland … John Mayer … 2001

  29. Breakfast at Tiffany’s … Deep Blue Something … 1995

  30. Greatest Love of All … Whitney Houston … 1986

  31. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm … Crash Test Dummies … 1994

  32. Will 2K … Will Smith … 1999

  33. Barbie Girl … Aqua … 1997

  34. Longer … Dan Fogelberg … 1979

  35. Shiny Happy People … R.E.M. … 1991

  36. Make Em Say Uhh! … Master P featuring Silkk, Fiend, Mia-X and Mystikal … 1998

  37. Rico Suave … Gerardo … 1991

  38. Cotton Eyed Joe … Rednex … 1995

  39. She Bangs … Ricky Martin … 2000

  40. I Wanna Sex You Up … Color Me Badd … 1991

  41. We Didn’t Start the Fire … Billy Joel … 1989

  42. The Sounds of Silence … Simon & Garfunkel … 1965

  43. Follow Me … Uncle Kracker … 2000

  44. I’ll Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That) … Meat Loaf … 1993

  45. Mesmerize … Ja Rule featuring Ashanti … 2002

  46. Hangin’ Tough … New Kids on the Block … 1989

  47. The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me Is You … Bryan Adams … 1996

  48. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da … The Beatles … 1968

  49. I’m Too Sexy … Right Said Fred … 1992

  50. My Heart Will Go On … Celine Dion … 1998

I think Marley23 is probably right about the reasons. It helps their sales. I took a quick look around their web site and found a lot of “worst of” lists but precious few “best of” lists. And the reasons for some of these songs being on the list? Here are #40 through #50"

I Wanna Sex You Up by Color Me Badd for “falsetto moans” and bad imagery

We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel because it “resembles a term paper scribbled the night before it’s due”

The Sounds of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel for a terrible opening line and a lecturing attitude

Follow Me by Uncle Kracker for going with Muzak and lite-FM stylings

I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That) by Meatloaf because “it doesn’t make any sense”

Mesmerize by Ja Rule Feat / Ashanti - “Many rappers sing poorly, but none as irritatingly as Jeffrey Atkins”

Hangin’ Tough by New Kids on the Block because it "featured white boys calling themselves “funky” "

The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me Is You by Bryan Adams for doing 15 years of “chaste” rocking to trying to do “sexy”

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da by The Beatles because “there were two things they could not do: play reggae and feign enjoyment”

I’m Too Sexy by Right Said Fred for being " “too sexy” for precisely nothing"

My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion for “adding pan-flute solos and schmaltz singing”

Any Top 50 Worst Songs list that doesn’t include Band Aid’s “Do They Know It’s Christmas” (it was a hit, and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t deliberately cheesey) cannot possibly be taken seriously. And the higher that song is ranked in such a list, the more seriously I would be inclined to take it.

I mean, come on:

What’s the matter with The End by the Doors?

Feh. I think they just have it in for The Doors, since they felt it was also necessary to include them on their “Worst Artists Ever” list. I mean, come on! Insane Clown Posse and The Doors should never be included on a list together. :mad:

Hey, I hate it too.

Agreed Lando
I see nothing wrong with the Doors nor their song “The End”.
As another poster said, the list and that magazine are not aimed at Doors’ fans nor Beatles’ fans nor Baby Boomers. Hey they have to show they are really cool by rejecting those “old fogey” songs and embracing the new. Of course, they really put their necks on the chopping block when they picked a Vaniila Ice song as one of those “bad 50”. LOL

I couldn’t agree more. IMO, Starship’s “Sara” should have been no. 2.

Agreed! Although I must admit that I like that song quite a disturbingly large bit, it really is a terrible song, if for no other reason that … well, whoever wrote it is unbelievably stupid. I mean, of course “there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmastime” - most of sub-Saharan Africa is in the Southern Hemisphere, and it is summer in December there. Stuff like that. The earnestness and well-meaning-ness is charming in its way, but I just can’t get over the dimness sometimes.

I think the whole animus against “Sounds of Silence” is that it’s transparently faux-Dylan to an embarrassing degree. Music critics smarter than the hairstyles that work at Maxim would’ve nominated “Eve of Destruction” for the very same reason.

Then again, they’ve obviously pegged Jim Morrison for the pretentious windbag he was, so they can’t be all bad. :wink:

Hey, you live only about 25 miles away from me!

Hey, you don’t dissed Jim Morrison! I’ll burn your house to the ground! :eek:

For the sarcastically impaired, the above post was a joke, and should not be construed as a threat in any way, shape, or form.