POINT ONE:
Bladed weapons are designed to cut through skin and flesh.
POINT TWO:
When drunk, blood does not congeal quickly.*
POINT THREE:
When they told you to put your bladed weapons somewhere where you wouldn’t find them when you’re drunk and you think they’re full of crap? Well, assume they know something you don’t.**
THOUGHT FOR THE NIGHT:
Scars are a mark of experience, and experience is the best teacher.***
*There is blood driping down my leg as I speak.
**Godsdamnit, my leg hurts.
***Seriously, this hurts like a bitch.
I was making out with a chick last night when we were both drunk and out of nowhere she raked her nails across my face and drew a lot of blood and now I look like I got attacked by Freddy Krueger. The funny part was we didn’t stop kissing, I’m really not sure why she did it, maybe just caught up in the moment by passion. I hope it doesn’t leave a scar though.
Yo, Axe, you bring to mind a very creepy party of 30 years ago, where one of the drunken guests started juggling kitchen knives. He kept cutting his hands with them and laughing and trying to make it work and flinging blood everywhere.
There sure isn’t much that improves with alcohol, is there?
Regallag, you obviously need more practice. Really skilled people can still do stuff drunk. My favourite example? The time the crew at Motorcyclist magazine started drinking and driving on a closed track. Even blowing over .15 the experienced racers could still make it around the track.
But there is a huge difference between the track and the regular road.
That’s an idiotic statement. Helmet laws are just as reasonable as seatbelt laws.
No, you misunderstand. People who think they don’t need to wear a helmet (or a seatbelt) because they’ll never have an accident (accidents being something that only happens to the other guy) are prevented from the ramifications of their ignorance by helmet (or seatbelt) laws, and thus, natural selection is subverted by legislation.
I am, of course, being facetious; both seatbelt laws and helmet laws help bring awareness to the fact that these devices manifestly improve the likelyhood of surviving an accident, and average intelligence is not much improved by the incidental deaths of those injured due to inadequate restraint, not to mention the waste of money and public effort, and of course benefits minor dependants who are not capable of making credible decisions in this regard for themselves.
Anybody who climbs on a motorbike with a 0.15% BAC, on the other hand, be it on the open road or a closed track deserves what they get. that’s almost as dumb as juggling knives while drunk.
Writing, for one; the taste of alcohol, for another; and drink mixing skill for some. It also renders methamphetamine completely ineffective, which I’m sure we’ll all agree is a Good Thing.
Set the wayback machine to 1964. My mom orders some new-fangled, serrated-blade knives from a magazine add. A young lad on summer vacation (yours truly) accepts the package from the mailman.
“Ah!” I thought, “A mysterious box addressed to Mom! I must open it!”
Inside, I found the gleaming cutlery, with an admonition: “DO NOT TEST KNIVES ON FINGERS”
