board maintenance

What exactly is being “maintained” and how, during board maintenance at the wee hours of the morning?

Tape backups.

Big parties. Lots of booze and loose women. They have to shut the board down because the cops make them do it when they shut the party down.

The FBI come in and photograph everything that’s been posted, along with your home address.

Redboss

They’re trying (in vain!) to keep me from posting, consarnit. But no, I manage to thwart their scheme by heading off to other message boards (or porn sites) during the ten minutes of maintenance.

I picture the Mods and Admins, sitting around a table in some innocuous building somewhere (a la SPECTRE) plotting my downfall…

Coldfire: “This SPOOFE bastard is a thorn in my side!”
Czarcasm: “Yup, he sure chaps my hide.”
Unclebeer: “I’d love to pump him full of lead!”
Bibliophage: “Who the heck’s this SPOOFE guy, anyway?”
Eutychus: “You remember… toothbrush?”
Bibliophage: “Oh, yeah… ::shudder::”
Tubadiva: “Gentlemen, gentlemen, stay focused… we must kidnap SPOOFE and threaten to clone him UNLESS the United States pays us… one meeeeellion dollars!”
Lynn: “Or gives us a new server.”