Earlier tonight, my darling Marcie informed me that my body belonged to her and that she could do anything she wanted with it or to it. I asked if that meant that her body belonged to me and she said it did not. It all seems so unfair.
Yeah, but there isn’t a lot you can do about. Like the rest of us, you learn to live with it. We should all be thankful they let us play with it, much less own it! 
Maybe if you read the owner’s manual, you could a least do some test driving.
She’s trying to tell you something…
…did you happen to see a leather collar emblazoned with the word SLAVE or a ball-gag lying around?
It’s not that complicated. My wife explained it to me earlier this evening. “What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine. Until death do us part.” I think she was kidding, sort of.
I thought this thread was gonna be someone soliciting legal advice concerning ownership of a corpse.
Carry on, that is all.
I’ve been using that idea for over 28 years. So far, I’m happy with it. My husband is not so happy with it, especially when I notice he has stray ear or back hairs. Then I get out the tweezers and he goes into defense mode.
If you’re not married that’s your cue to say, “is there a ring on my finger?” 
I’m as married as it gets. There’s not only a ring on my finger, there is one through my nose, too.
I asked my darling Marcie, a little while ago, if I could just borrow her body since she won’t let me own it. She said she would think about it. My experience has been that when a woman says she wants to “think about it,” there is a storm brewing. Now I’m afraid.
Clearly, your darling Marcie needs to be placated by diamonds and roses and expensive champagne. Hop to it, man!
(Men. They just think they run the world…)
My darling Marcie deserves boatloads of diamonds. I wish I could provide them. I do, however, buy her a dozen roses at least once a month and sometimes more often than that. We treat ourselves to a bottle of champagne every now and then—maybe it should be daily.
This must be why I haven’t found a woman to marry me. I can’t imagine a woman who knows me well who would say this, even in jest.
Sometimes we like shiny things out of gumball machines. At least I do.
Are you Osgood Fielding III?
You may or may not need to know something about Marcie…
I don’t understand the reference. Like all men, I undoubtedly need to know more about my wife------
Is that a Some Like It Hot reference? If it’s what I think it is, <snerk>
Ding ding ding ding ding!
About all I remember of Some Like It Hot is the guy who says “Nobody’s perfect” or words to that effect. I KNOW that can’t be what you meant, though, because my darling Marcie is perfect, in every way imaginable.