So I have these friends “Robert” and “Amanda”. I’ve known both for yeas, but am closer with Robert. Amanda is in her late 20s and Robert is in his late 30s. Amanda has only had one relationship - her Marriage - which lasted for seven years (relationship - not sure how how long they’ve been married). Robert has had a few relationships - and they all seem to peter out after a couple of years. Neither seem to be really good at expressing their feelings - and both seem to be getting hurt by the other in what amounts to almost comical misunderstandings.
They truly do seem to care about each other, and both seem frustrated at their inability to communicate without getting overly angry and such.
Books
I let them borrow I book I have which I think is pretty good on this subject:
“You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation”
I have had my own issues along these lines and they wanted to know if I knew of any other books like that that could help them argue/communicate more effectively - and on improving relationships in general. I am interested as well.
Podcasts
More for me than them:
I am also interested in any podcasts you might know of (or CDs/whatever) - and any tips as well. I listen to Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast, but that is more kinda geared towards sexual issues.
Tips
The one tip I learned a long time ago - that seems to help somewhat - is the use of “I statements”. Instead of saying “you always take six hours to get ready to go out dancing and don’t give a shit about my feelings” say something like" you say something like “I feel like my time isn’t valued when I am waiting alone for so long.” (I probably could have done better rewriting that - but hey I’m not really good at this stuff either.)
Any tips you have for making a relationship better or having disagreements would be appreciated!