Books that make you go "Hwaah?"

Today I was walking past a bookstore. On a lovely display they had the newly released tome:

The Quotable Calvin Coolidge.

I’m wondering if they did a word a page to pad the length…

Any other books that make you do a double take, Dopers?

Every book, especially biographies, written by “minor” celebrities. People like Charles Grodin, Suzanne Somers, Sarah Ferguson, etc. Similarly, I’m amazed and saddened that a book written by “The Rock” could be on the bestseller lists.

Well, andygirl, there was “Retired Racing Greyhounds for Dummies”, but you were with me when I saw that.

“Internet Investing for Dummies”
If you think “dummy” is an accurate description of yourself, don’t you think you should let someone else invest for you?

[hijack]It wasn’t written by him so much as some random shmoe occasionally asked him for some input about the story. If you want a TRUE wrestler’s book, pick up “Have A Nice Day”… written by Mick Foley himself, by hand, on notebook paper. THAT’S a good book.[/hijack]

Not as scary as “Parenting for Dummies”. Or, for that matter “Sex for Dummies”.

“The Pocket Guide to Sex”

I was too timid to flip through it in the bookstore, but I expect the author had ‘hands-on’ experience.

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Prayer"

“The GRE for Dummies”

Excuse me, but I don’t think that a person who’s stupid
belongs in graduate school.

Well, retired racing greyhounds may be a rather narrow subject, of interest to only a few people, but…

A racing greyhound’s career is usually very short. Most are not of championship caliber, and even the ones who are can’t stay in peak form forever. So, once a greyhound’s racing career is over, they’re usually put up for adoption. I know several people who’ve adopted former racing greyhounds… and while they love these dogs, they all admit that it wasn’t easy to adapt these animals to home life. For one thing, a LOT of these animals were beaten or abused regularly by trainers- so many retired greyhounds are timid, nervous animals (as a result, I’ve seen these dogs back away from harmless strangers, as if in fear of a whipping). Adoptive owners may not be ready for that.

So… a book on how to handle a newly adopted greyhound may not be such a silly idea. I’m sure my friends wish they’d had such a guide! It’s no sillier than a “How to Care For Your Hamster” or “How to Care for Your Turtle” or any other pet-related “How To” book.

Oh wait I’ve got one:

“Feng Shui for Cats”

And they’re not kidding.

Damn. If I had just written down all the ones I’ve run across at wirk in the past year, I could fill up the screen.

Unless it was about “pocket pool.” You’d have to be a real dummy to need that explained.

You keep turning it around so it’s pointing in the right direction? :confused:

Plenty of suggestions here:

Each link connects to the book’s page. My personal favorite was Chicken Poop for the Soul on the December 2000 list.


“Quotable Calvin Coolidge”? Given than Coolidge was notorious for never talking, that could only be a joke.

Saw a similar book once: In 1972 I was given a gag gift, a book entitled “The Wit and Wisdom of Spiro T. Agnew.”

Every page was blank.

As Richard Shenkman points out in “Legends, Lies, nd Cherished Myths of American History”, Coolidge actually gave more press conferences than previous presidents, and was called “The Talkative President” by one historian. Despite this, he is still recalled as “Silent Cal” – but that only goes to show the power of media. Greta Garbo was parodied for her big feet in Warner Brothers cartoons, but she didn’t have abnormally large feet.
That said, I don’t know of a single real quote by Coolidge, myself (most of his famous gaffes are demonstrably false).

Books that make you go “Hwaah?”

Some book called the Kama Sutra. Why anyone would need to learn about peaking turtles or a scorpion’s tail whipping is beyond me.

Even though it was pretty cool…

Dancing with Your Cat.

Left Behind: The Kids Series

I work at a library so I see these all the time.

The most recent, I don’t remember the exact tile or author, was Gather Up All Your Broodies In A Big Box, Then Sit On The Lid And Laugh.

Trying to derive the thinking that goes in to things like this is what keeps me up at night.