Boomers: Why Do People Act Old Before They Are?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

This is where I trot out the old “If you can remember the 60s, you weren’t there”–but with a twist.

I had a lot of “burn it down and start over” friends in the 60s and early 70s. I also read the silly cover articles from Time and other magazines. However, while all the hype about revolution was filling the airwaves and consigning massive numbers of trees to the paper mills (under protest, of course), I also noticed that the "real’ revolutionaries (whatever they were) were always simply one loud segment of a much larger population, the majority of whom were interested in finding the right mate, settling down, and having kids, (and getting a sufficiently decent job to support them). And while the loud revolutionaries got a lot of media exposure, I also recall a lot of reactionary people among my peers. I would say that (in college) the revolutionaries slightly outnumbered the reactionaries (with both groups still being a tiny portion of the populace) and that in my summer jobs the reactionaries tended to outnumber the revolutionaries (with, again, both groups being outnumbered by the kids that just wanted to find careers, mates, and homes in which to raise kids).

Interestingly, while the reactionaries I knew grew up to join the neo-cons in their dotage (and a number of revolutionaries also followed the founders of the neo-cons from the Left to the Right), the vast majority of the kids I knew who were not extreme on either end tend to continue to support environmental issues*, several are in jobs where they are working to reduce ethnic discrimination in housing or the workplace, most opposed Bush’s Iraq adventure (while many supported the Afghanistan action), etc. Of course, my anecdotal observations about people I knew does not indicate where “all” Boomers stand on all issues, but then, a Boomer born in 1946 and a Boomer born in 1964 grew up in radically different worlds, so it is not to be expected that they would see their different worlds in the same way.

  • (Part of the Republican “Contract on America” was phrased to get government off the backs of American industry, reducing excessive regulation. When the Republicans tried to turn their rhetoric into law, of course, they initially wrote the laws to simply destroy most of the legislation protecting the environment. They were compelled to change the bills to actually address government interference after a huge outcry–led, for the most part, by Boomers.)
22

I’m 45. A youngun’ still. But I still ware the same types of clothes I wore 20 years ago. I am more cautious. You just don’t recover as easily at 45 as you do at 25.

I’ve had a few close calls as well. They add up. Have enough ‘well that could have killed me’ moments, and you tend to get a little wiser, and move more deliberately.

For instance, roofing the addition I put on. It’s two story and 5-1/2|12 pitch. 20 years ago, I would have thought nothing of doing it with out being roped off. Today. Umm no. I’ve got the gear, It’s a bit of a pain to use, but a fall could easily kill me.

I don’t see this at all. Might be because of where we live. Heck, my wife is training for an IRON MAN (she’s 45 too).

23

[cue: Led Zepplin – “Since I’ve Been Loving You” …]

52 year old grandfather here. And proud of it, too. Happy I got this far. I still remember the oath to die at age 30 because … oh, never mind …

My outrage, oddly enough, is still very much intact, thank you for asking.

We’re still out here, doin’ what we can with what we got to work with. Most of us have droped the signs, cut our hair (or had it fall out …) and lowered our voices. We’ve found ways to put some of our dreams and goals into action. There are still may things to occupy us activists. You named a couple here, but you may be surprised to find out just how many more issues we’ve found to occupy our time. (OTOH, maybe not.) You can still find us if you look for us, you just have to look in some unlikely places!

As to the environment, I haul used oil and antifreeze for recycling, amoung other things. I have a very good friend from high school who took his outrage and put it to good use: he’s now a legislator in Colorado – has sponsored some of the toughest environmental legislation I’ve seen to date. I have another activist friend who became an attorney and spends a good deal of her time (pro bono) fighting to keep corporations from violating environmental laws (and helping to protect the rights of underprivilaged children and the homeless). Another is a chemical engineer working to build less toxic chemicals to take the place of some of the really bad stuff that is still on the shelves in our garages and under our kitchen sinks. Still another is a process engineer who designes water clarifiers to remove contaminants from the water used in the mining process. And we’re just a few of the class that chose environmental issues. Others are still fighting in political reforms, against the (remember this?) ‘industrial military complex’, human rights, civil rights, et.al. What’s more, these are representative members of just one graduating class from one high school in just one city in the (somewhat?) backward state of Utah.

The list is actually quite long, but – still – (much like our hair) we’re getting spread pretty thin.

I’m certainly not “ashamed” with our generation. Disappointed at times, but definitely not ashamed.

Fulfilling the promise and dreams of our era is kinda like the SDMB. (No … actually, now that I think about it a little bit, it’s a LOT like this place!)

“It’s taking longer than we thought”

It is, in fact, taking longer than we could have imagined.

But we ain’t dead yet.

What say you, fellow classmates?

Lucy

24

Well, I’m 51 Bright Penny, and I haven’t noticed a headlong rush into geezerhood.
(Admittedly, my SO and I are fairly insular and selective about who we socialize with.)
What I have noticed is that my friends are now divided into two camps-those with children and those without.
The former have radically changed their lifestyles and I accept and applaud them for it.
Having children does mean curtailing some of the activities they used to participate in-primarily because they’re making a conscious effort to raise their children properly rather than treating them as little accessories.
That means dinner at home at a reasonable hour, monitoring their children’s homework and taking part in kid related activities on the weekend.
Doesn’t mean they don’t sneak off every once in a while to listen to music or do adventurous things.
However, they take their responsibility as parents seriously-as they should.

Those of us without children have more freedom but the things I did for fun back in my 20’s and 30’s aren’t that appealing anymore.
I don’t want to get wasted every Saturday night or troll the bars or devote my time to getting hooked up or even spend hours gathered around the bong, contemplating the meaning of meaning.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t still go out to hear music or hike or travel or stay up till midnight playing Risk and swilling too much plonk.
I’m still very politically active and I still support the issues near and dear to my heart.
But I just don’t have time for the emotional high drama that dominated my 20’s.
Been there, done that, don’t need to do it again.

A couple of years ago, I ran into a single friend at the Austin Music Festival.
He was hanging out with a group of people that were still doing the same things for fun that they did in their 20’s and 30’s-hanging out in bars and partying and looking for a partner.
It was actually rather sad.

25

You seem to be saying that saying people past their 30s without children tend to be kind of sad for reasons other than simply not having children. Interesting.

You think it’s them, or the roles society places us in and the ages appropriate for those roles?

Me, I’m 39, childless, dateless, sophomoric in some ways and very stuffy indeed in others, and my favorite music is not just old people crap, but dead people crap.

26

I am sorry but you are wrong. Jazz is not old people crap nor dead people crap in fact it is not crap at all. When they take all the soul out of it so it can be played on easy listening stations then it might be crap but otherwise no. Classical is not crap, Jazz isn’t crap. R &B, Big Band, swing, rock, bluegrass, country, techno, dance, all the others I can’t think of right now aren’t crap and aren’t old people crap. Lifeless elevator music is old people crap.

And other than the age being wrong by about 10 years, the rest pretty much describes me as well. :slight_smile:

27

Being 34 and knowing people in their 50s it does seem like they are all randomly from different generations. There I find it kind of jarring when they’re side by side and I realize they would be the right age to date. Glenn Danzig and Oprah are about the same age.

When I think back to being a kid in the 70s and 80s though, those people were acting really different then too. There were the type of people reading Jean Genet and wearing heroin chick and putting graffiti on their bathroom walls, and being really cool, and there were people watering their ferns and drinking white wine at dinner parties and talking about Casablanca. Putting up oversized forks and spoons on the dining room walls.

I know cool boomers but they are all artists now that I think about it. Either writers or musicians. They are all downtown and they hang out with younger people a lot.

28

Heh, I said heroin chick. You know what I mean though, the Kathy Acker types.

29

Okay, not a boomer at all. (I’m 27.) brightpenny, I suspect the fact that you grew up in Southern California (as well as the media’s constant focus on hippie boomers) affects your view of baby boomers should be like. As tomndebb wisely points out, throughout history, most people have been focused on finding someone to love, tending to their families, and trying to grab what happiness they can, not, for better or worse, on changing the world. From what I can tell, most boomers weren’t civil rights activists, free love advocates, residents of communes, etc.

30

Also, just want to point out that from my perspective, the Doors, Hendrix, Zeppelin, and the Rolling Stones are old people’s music. Doesn’t mean they’re not good, but it’s the music my in-laws listen to, not me.

31

45 here… Got married for the first time last year - to my same sex partner of 18 years… and don’t feel old, or think I’m old… I’m not sure why, but people always seem to guess my age at mid thirties… which is really funny, because when I was a teenager, I wanted people to think I was older!

Over time I stopped listening to music on the radio, and ended up finding myself enjoying Swing, Big Band and lots of music I would not have imagined I would like… but absolutely hate “soft rock” and elevator music…

And I’ll be fighting for Gay rights til the day I keel over… but I’m a really late boomer… I don’t even feel like I have anything in common with the early boomers… When I read things about boomers I always picture people 20 years older than me…

32

I am, quite frankly, startled. I’m pretty oblivious to peoples’ ages in person–I tend to mentally label everyone as “rougly my age (24)” or “roughly 40ish”, but I would have guessed you at 32.

33

Hm. Does that reflect poorly on me? I get the same kind of reaction IRL, too, because that’s about how old I look. These kids at work think I’m just some guy until they find out I’ve been working at this since before their parents met.

34

53 yo here. Most of the women I run into that are around my age are dead boring. (These days I tend to have more women friends than men friends. Most of my life it’s been the other way around.) With them it’s all grandkids this, grandkids that. Very few of them are doing anything interesting, or doing much in the way of learning new skills. And NOBODY in my small circle of friends reads science fiction or fantasy.

I gotta get some new friends.

35

( :: looks at location :: Welcome, Daffyd, from another Torontonian!)

Age 42 here, which puts me on the cusp between of the boomers and the following generation. I don’t feel ‘old’ in my choices… I still listen to rock, alternative, electronic music instead of easy listening, etc, though that also includes stints of eighties and sixties music. Recently I’ve started to broaden out in my choices, though. I’m exploring jazz and rap.

The weird thing is that when I was in my late twenties, I worked with someone who was younger tham me, but somehow seemed older than me.

I’ve been puzzling over just what gave me that impression for a long time. He always seemed to have to make an effort to move, physically, so possibly physical vigour was part of it. But more subtly, there seems to be an air that some people have, no matter what their true age, that seems ‘old’ to me.

If you are settled in your choices and no longer exploring and pushing outwards towards new things in life, does that mean you’re old inside? Isn’t that what easy listening music is? Music with the edge removed, in order to comfort rather than engage?

Oppositely, if one is still struggling with internal angst and demons, still searching for self-confidence and connection as many do in their twenties, does that give the impression of relative youtheven at age forty?

On the third hand, so many I know have concentrated on children and family. That makes them, almost by definition ‘fully grown’, but even the grandparents I know don’t seem old, mentally.

36

I think it’s interesting that the media have chosen to latch on to the “counter-culture” image to depict those of us of boomer age. I don’t think “boomer” = “counter-culture” by any stretch of the imagination.

37

I can speak to this, being a couple years shy of 50 and finding that my musical tastes have changed in recent years. As a recreational musician, I do notice a few things happening with my musical tastes.

First, while I still love the true “Classic Rock” from the 1960s and 70s, I mean by that term the genuinely innovative and exciting subset of the music that was being made in those years. I don’t mean the 1970s acts like Foreigner, Billy Joel, and Bad Company that get played to death on the so called “classic rock” stations.

Second: For that reason, I can’t stand to listen to FM classic rock anymore. Most of what they play is boring crap that I’ve heard a million times.

Third: As my guitar playing improves, I find myself drawn to jazz and swing for the chord changes—that stuff is really fun to play when you learn how.

Fourth: I also find myself more drawn to newer and alternative rock, more so than I’ve been in the past 14 or 15 years.

So in a sense my tastes are diverging both forwards and backwards in time from the music I grew up with. I’ll never not like the Beatles, Stones, Doors, Bob Dylan, Hendrix, or a host of others of similar quality, but if I never hear Foreigner performing Double Vision again, it will be too soon.

38

This is something I’ve been wondering - about myself. I’m 44. I’m in good health, have a wide variety of interests, etc. I’m “fairly” progressive about music, very open about film & books, but I still think I come across as stiff. I think a good deal of this is the huge fear I have about being thought of as “mutton dressed as lamb”. I’m petrified to the point of stricture about the clothes I wear, and I’m certain this is why I won’t date men much younger than about 40 or so. I know I shouldn’t let what the Joneses think bother me, but you know - it does. I have to work this out somehow.

VCNJ~

39

I’m turning 30 this year and I’ve changed quite a bit over the last 10 years. I no longer read science fiction or fantasy (with one notable exception) I tend to read history books or regular fiction because I find the real world to be much more interesting. It doesn’t help that most science fiction and fantasy just isn’t that good.

I feel like the old man in my group of friends at times. A lot of them really loved the short lived science fiction series Firefly and just love the series to death. I liked the series but not enough to have my social life revolve around it. I used to enjoy role playing games like Dungeons and Dragons and Call of Cthulhu but after nearly 18 years of gaming I decided to give it up. I still enjoyed it but I didn’t think there was anything more I could do with the hobby and I wanted to give something else a try.

Marc

40

I think I like to strike a balance between keeping up to date with current trends in music and style and not looking like I’m trying to be 19 for the rest of my life. I think it’s easier for guys though as we don’t wear revealing clothing. There was a GQ article a few months ago about choosing the right clothing in your 20s, 30s and 40s. They were pretty much the same exact clothes except they just got more expensive.