Were you Lincoln’s first AG, a Missouri-born veteran of the War of 1812?
Did you win the insulting nickname “Spoons” in Nawlins?
Did your shipmates joke that your vocabulary was pretty much limited to the word “Right”?
Are you a string-and-cardboard boy scout who is always getting deaded on the highly acclaimed, badger-coated, silver-throated, completely immersible 1950’s BBC radio series The Goon Show?
Did you single-eggedly save Dorothy from the Nome King?
Are you typically listed as one of the two lowest-ranked Presidents of the United States?
IQ1: Were your associates a dog, a lion and an elephant?
IQ2: Were you kicked out into the rain with nothing but a comb?
IQ3: Did you first appear in a book written by an author who is also noted for writing the memoir of a fictional prostitute?
IQs:
1. Did you lead the Iceni against the Romans?
2. Did you write Big Trouble? (I am not making this up.)
3. Oh, was Mickey so fine, was he so fine he blew your mind?