Some friends got the keys to their new house this week, and they’ve found enough random stuff squirreled away that they pretty much need to have a garage sale.
Clear the decks, People.
I’ve got the perfect story. And I sweartagawd, it’s true!
Years ago, Mr VOW and I owned rental property. If God is truly merciful and kind, He’ll remove those memories one day.
All of our renters were Spawns of Satan, birthed in Hell.
One lady, when she moved out, left unbelievable mountains of crap. Books. Furniture. Enough crutches to stock an orthopedic ward. Oh, and her husband.
Well, he was dead…
She left the container of his cremated remains. After we hired people to clean the place, I had to “rescue” him from a trash bag. I set him on the driveway, and the box tipped over.
Some of him spilled out.
I tried my best to scoop him back inside. I don’t know if he gained or lost weight in the process…
We stuck him in our garage until we figured out what to do with him. The former tenant never contacted us, and we didn’t have a forwarding address.
You’ll never believe what I ended up doing with him.
~VOW
You can’t…you can’t just leave it there!
My guess is FLUSH!
When we bought our house in Chicago back in 1986 the basement was full of lumber, electrical supplies, and a whole lot of half-filled paint cans. The thing is, all of it was apparently left not by the people we bought the house from, but by the previous owner who never used the basement.
Free garden mulch?
Nope.
See new thread!
~VOW
When visiting my sister’s newish home years ago I noticed that they had two cats (Patches and Heath). Knowing that their family had always been very pro-dog but never seemed to have any opinion about cats, I asked my nephew (four years old at the time) where these cats had come from. Anthony blurted out:They came with the house!.
Our best (and only*) cat, Carmine, came with the house. His owners abandoned him.
*except for a subsequent kitten rescue.
My friend moved into a house, and the former resident left her placenta in the freezer. The power had been turned off for a while, so I don’t think it was in very good shape by the time she came back to get it. I don’t know what she intended to do with a rotten placenta, but I hope it turned out okay for her.