I recently read Skipping Christmas by John Grisham. I thought that the whole idea of skipping the whole commercialism crap at Christmas was a wonderful idea.
I don’t think I could skip the idea of Christmas though, you know, the togetherness and spirit of Christmas, etc. But skipping the horrible Christmas shopping, worrying about what to get for a whole list of people, worrying about all the money I have to spend, the time I have to spend…that would be great. And them spending money and time on Christmas gifts for me–I really don’t want people doing that. Let’s face it, we all have received some Christmas presents that we don’t use and can do without. That’s just money and time down the toilet.
I’d buy presents for the kids of the family though. But not adults. Speaking as an adult, I can say that all through the year, if I want something and can afford it, I’ll get it for myself. I have my mom and family calling me and asking (and me asking them in turn), “what do you want for Christmas? What do you need?” I never know what to tell them because things that I want or need I already have.
Have any of you ever boycotted that part of Christmas? Have you ever told your family, “I love getting together at Christmas. I think it’s great to get together and have fun and watch the kids open presents. But this year I won’t buy any adult gifts, and I don’t want anyone buying me gifts.” If you have done that, how has that idea gone over with your family and friends? Did they believe you? Did they guilt you into getting them something anyway by telling you that even if you weren’t getting aything for them, they would get something for you? Did anyone get angry?
My mother did this when I was about 15 and my little sister 13. She just declared that she wasn’t going to buy Christmas presents any more because materialism was running amuck. It was a massive relief. Since then we really haven’t done Christmas presents in my family: every once in a while my mom gives me a token gift if I spend Christmas with her (as opposed to my husband’s family). However, it’s always because she saw something she thought was a good idea. There have been just as many years where there were no gifts.
My extended family was never really into swapping gifts. My mother is one of 12 and I have too many first cousins to count; furthermore, incomes within those 12 families vary from high-six figures to the poverty line, which makes can make buying presents for 30+ kids either a burden or an act of condecension. We sometimes do a secret-santa thing, office-style, with a ten dollar limit, but no one is really that interested.
Now, my family is extremely generous. I’ve never wanted for anything, and gotten fabulous gifts my whole life. They’ve just never been tied to a holiday.
I love my family’s attitude. Christmas brings no stress for me. I guess my only recomendation is don’t feel obligated to buy stuff for the kids, either.
I wish I had the guts to boycott the forced, contrived Christmas gift camaraderie at my workplace. We all are expected to fork over $5 for this, that and the other thing.
There are other things we could do instead, such as charities, but having my own life (and inertia) just makes it easier to hand over the money.
I think we have Christmas well-arranged in my family. There are no real rules, there is no definite formula. But we worked it out.
We only give store-bought gifts to the immediate family–and with extended family, we just sort of have a self-correcting attitude about it–no big bucks.
It is understood that in terms of Christmas presents, kids get priority.
Years ago when my mom was still alive she wanted us to do the name-drawing thing. It felt awkward, nobody really liked it–even my mom, who was always a Grinch.
For me, the big thing about Christmas is getting together with friends and family and having a nice meal. Some of our extended family goes to church and that’s great. I guess the main thing is to try to relax and lower your expectations, but I know that this is easier said than done.
What my family did for a few years is have “casino Christmas”. Every adult got 1 $1 scratch off ticket for every other adult. All the tickets were put in a big pot.
The pot was passed around and each person grabbed 1 ticket. Then one of the older children would call out a name, and that person would scratch thier ticket. The winnings (if any) would be recorded. Reapeat for every person. Then the pot would be passed around again.
Othen than this I NEVER play the lottery and I still had a great time. The whole “ooh I got 2 in a row will I get 3” was fun.