Maybe he’s just not that into you?
No. Everything is the same. And I dont show it.
That thread actually made me make my account. I was reading it last night.
Thats true. But I have wanted this guy for a while. And im not giving up on this.
I like that. No, my boyfriend lives with me. Kind of the same scenario. He left the mom and came to me. But I like your advice a lot. Thanks.
What was the purpose of that?
Thanks!! I’ll try it.
One other thought - something to consider. You may be being perceived as “competition” - this other person who monopolizes your boyfriend’s time/attention. Especially since this occurs when the mother isn’t around (when you are with the boyfriend), this may be upsetting the child: he is not his father’s sole focus of attention.
Kids are perceptive, and are very keen on changes at that age.
And who knows what Mommy tells the boy about you.
The purpose of that is to get you to recognize that you and your boyfriend are not the summation of your relationship. This kid is real, present and gets way more than you think he does. The fact that you dismiss this is not ok. You are 18. He isn’t that great. Really.
Maybe he takes after his dad no longer taking after his ex.
harmonydesireecash just give it awhile. babies have phases. hopefully he’ll start liking you more with time.
Purpose comes from within.
How old are your boyfriend and his ex?
My boyfriend is 22, his ex is 25
True, but its all a long story. My boyfriend and I went through hell to be together. Just because he has a kid doesnt mean anything.
As a parent of a step child, the fact my now husband had a child was always part of the equation. It never, ever meant nothing. Sometimes it made things harder, often it made things fun, but it was always relevant to our relationship.
harmonydesirecash dating a man (or woman) with a baby is never easy, but that’s not a reason not to do it. Sometimes tough life choices turn out to be very rewarding. sounds like you like this guy, so I’d encourage you to try to make it work.
To the kid’s mother, you’re the chick who stole away her boyfriend/husband/whatever. The fact that he had a baby didn’t mean anything to you; of course, it apparently meant very little to him, either.
Still, the man seems to still want the kid in his life. If you care about him, follow some of the advice in this thread & at least pretend the baby is another human being.
No, it means everything. Your boyfriend is a father, and will be for the rest of his life. He will also be in the eyes of the law financially responsible for this child for the next 17 or so years, possibly longer if college tuition is involved. He will have to have at least some form of contact with the boy’s mother for those long years, making custody arrangements, pickup and dropoff, discussions about the boy’s welfare like where to go to school and what afterschool activities are OK versus too much and how he’s doing with his homework, and what his health is like, and so on.
And if you have a child with him, he’s going to have to split his parenting attention, and his money, because that previous child does not become any less his responsibility if you two have one or more kids together.