And asking them for help might make them more willing to give you a second chance. It’s worth a shot.
Good luck, dude.
SO, in summary:
You hate having someone else waste your time, but you love wasting other people’s time.
You are too stupid to eat breakfast, but then complain about your non-stupid traveling companion eating.
You are too stupid? Arrogant? Ignorant? to utilize convenient transport systems, you insist on bumming a lift. And then bitch when this causes you a delay.
You insist on “decompressing” at the end of the day, but freak out when your traveling companion does so.
You are unable to carry your side of a conversation, so you bail out on your friends, and stumble (drunkenly?) over the countryside just to get away. They you are amazed that they considered this impolite?
Please, please promise me you will never travel with me, you are a nightmare!
Not eating breakfast at 4 o’clock in the morning because you have to get to the airport is NOT “stupid”
This remark is stupid.
He had six hours between the time he left his house and the time he arrived at the workshop; the majority of this time he literally had nothing to do but sit on his ass and let other people do the “heavy lifting”- he was on a bus, in an airport, on a plane, and in a car being driven by someone else. If he- KNOWING he has food issues- couldn’t be arsed to scarf down a protein bar during that time (or ask for two minutes to grab something from the store), I think stupid is a pretty accurate descriptor.
Or make a sandwich the night before and pack it in his bag, if he knew he might not have time to eat.
If there’s just one thing he learns from all this, let it be this:** always pack a sandwich.**
I’d rather be “stupid” than offensively judgmental of the young and inexperienced. Obviously, he hasn’t had a lot of experience travelling and knowing how if works (or doesn’t). Next time, he’ll know.
And make absolutely sure it’s sardines and onions.
And a towel, especially if you’ll be hitchhiking.
He has extensive experience traveling; he traveled all the time for hours to stay with his significant other’s family. He relies daily on public transportation as he can’t drive. He may not have much work-travel experience, but if he can get from point a to point b to get laid, he can certainly extrapolate out “this is how basic commuting works.”
Again, he knows- and has known for years- what his issues are. They’re laid out succinctly in the OP. It is his responsibility as an adult who can clearly function on a daily basis to mitigate his symptoms- not just for the people around him, but for his own mental health and well-being.
Put me in the “you’ve got to fight…for your right…to eat, sleep, and rest.” My worst trips are those in which a member of the group is always dragging us to do something with clients, or to discuss what we’ve been doing up to that point. One time we had a member of the group who was diabetic and could barely get enough time to go back to his room to check his sugar. Sometimes you have to speak up and say, “Nope. I’m grabbing something to eat,” or, “I’m going up to the room.” Take a cab or a hotel shuttle or find some other way to get where you want to go. Charge it to the company and tell them to get f***ed if they don’t like it. Going somewhere for the benefit of your employer is on THEIR behalf and it’s up to them to make you as “whole” as possible when you have to fulfill basic human functions like eating and resting.
That’s great. Write down as much as you can from the feedback boss gave you and put together a mediation plan (list of behaviors/approaches you will change to fix this.) Some of those will be private and personal, but also work up a list of work-specific things you can share with the boss.
Then, ask him for a meeting and go through the list with him. Ask him if he thinks you are on the right track and add/edit with any suggestions he makes. Do not argue his suggestions. If there’s something you’re not clear on wait until another day to ask about it, just agree with him on the list. Ask him to meet with you every two weeks to discuss progress. (First follow-up meeting is the time to ask for any clarifications you needed.)
Start each of those meetings telling him what you think you have improved. Then listen, listen, listen. Explain anything he has misconstrued but don’t argue.
There is nothing better for a manager than to have a problem employee take things seriously and change for the better. It is what makes that part of their job rewarding. It sounds like he wants to be on your side, but you’ve got to give him a reason to be there.
Now I know all that sounded hard, but here’s the really hard part: Also spruce up your resume and get it out there. If you get an offer of equal or better money, take it. Then take your list with you to the new job and follow it.
He’s a real arse for not telling you that before the trip. Seriously. He should have let you know that it was important for you to get along with folks.
What kind of contract? What’s your geographic region?
So sorry, this is a very difficult lesson learned under frightening circumstances. We used to call them growth experiences; FGEs for short. 
You are young; you are supposed to be learning this crap right now. You can do this.
One last weird piece of advice: When you are at home practice walking around with a smile plastered on your face. Doesn’t have to be natural or even look genuine, just scrunch up your cheeks and smile as you go through your mornings and evenings.
Controlling your facial expressions makes a huge difference in other people’s attitudes towards you. Try to take responsibility for your effect on the morale in the office, and not be a “downer” in any way. Be cheerful; fake it 'til you make it.
Also, if there’s a way you can, freshen your wardrobe a bit. Even just a couple of new shirts will help people take a new picture of you in their heads, and notice the changes.
And check in with us, we’re pulling for you.
I read/heard that physically forcing a smile also works on yourself. It stimulates hormones or something. Your biology doesn’t know the difference between a real smile or a manufactured one, and sends out happiness hormones/reduces stress hormones/something. (I obviously don’t remember the details).
The other “general” things that help interacting with others is to have some standard responses at the ready. When people/acquaintances ask how you are, they aren’t really asking for an honest answer, just rattle off “fine thanks, and you?” “lovely day, isn’t it?” “yes, gorgeous, isn’t it great to have some sun for a change”. No matter how you really feel, trot out a positive response. Speak to people, acknowledge people (nod and a smile). This can be hard when you’re depressed or a bit shy/not a people person (ie me) but you can learn if you practise and it really does help, not only in how others around you interact with you, but also how you feel yourself.
I can attest that this works. Although it takes awhile to get over the uncomfortable feeling that people are smiling back only because you have a booger hanging out or something.
It’s hard to adopt new things but after a while it become ingrained and you do it automatically. It’s a shame they don’t teach kids some form of how to interact (“etiquette”) at school. It’s not surprising that many of us have no clue what to do when we haven’t been “trained”. A bit of assertiveness training also can’t hurt, how to say things that won’t get people’s backs up is useful in life and at work.
Yes, this is the perfect way for 24 year old new employee to make his mark in the company. :rolleyes:
Act like a kid, people will treat you like a kid. Act like an adult and people will treat you like an adult. Your actual age is irrelevant.
Well, maybe it should be. If it isn’t, functional grown adults can still choose to take responsibility for their own health. This isn’t like a little kid on a road trip and mommy won’t give him a bottle of water. Are Europeans really expected to be “Nice Guys” to the extent they just neglect their own health and then get to blame everyone else? Do people just drop dead due to irrational politeness? Sounds exhausting.
How’s it going BPC?
Eh. Snapped at a coworker today. Depression’s a shitshow. Vacation next week, though, so that’s nice. Also, probably getting fired in february.
OK, so have you sent out any resumes yet? Gotta do that, man.
Believe me, Depression is not improved by unemployment and insurance lapse.