I don’t even know where to start with this one. Redux Beverages, a company who created controversy with their energy drink Cocaine (now known as No Name), has introduced a new product- BRAWNDO, the Thirst Mutilator! BRAWNDO is officially licensed by 20th Century Fox through OMNI Consumer Products Corp., a company which specializes in creating products based on fictional products from TV and movies (and is itself named after a fictional evil company from the RoboCop films).
Redux decided to create BRAWNDO due to the controversy caused by their Cocaine drink, which almost seemed to mimic the controversy BRAWNDO created in the Mike Judge film Idiocracy, which Fox intentionally limited-released, but became a success on home video- a success similar to that of Judge’s earlier film Office Space, which only became a hit through home video. Redux hopes in part that BRAWNDO will do for it what red staplers did for Swingline after the release of Office Space. Redux is marketing BRAWNDO with a flippant online ad in the style of the film which can be seen in the link above.
For those of you unfamiliar with the film, in a future where everyone is stupid, the makers of BRAWNDO have purchased the FDA and have made it the official replacement of water. A average man from the past (who is now the smartest man in the country) helps solve the crisis of plants not growing. The reason? Everyone is placing BRAWNDO on their crops, believing the slogans “Brawndo’s got electrolytes” and “Brawndo’s got what plants crave” to be gospel. The real BRAWNDO is a lemon-lime flavored energy drink with caffeine, taurine, inotisol, guarina, and electrolytes- what plants crave!
(This post has not been authorized by Redux and/or 20th Century Fox. Do not use BRAWNDO to water crops. BRAWNDO does not have what plants crave.)
(Yes it does.)
(No it doesn’t.)
(Yes it does. BRAWNDO’s got electrolytes.)
(What are electrolytes?)
(They’re what plants crave!)
Being that one of the movie’s underlying themes was the way consumerism both exploited and contributed to society’s idiocy, I’m not sure whether to be amused or alarmed by the fact they’re actually selling this product. I wonder how Mike Judge feels about it. Sad, perhaps? Drying his tears with fresh $100 bills?
At the end of the commercial, underneath the Fox copyright, you will see the statement “Thanks to Mark at Picnicface”- he is the creator and voice artist of this spoof commercial, which was the inspiration for this ad. I’m guessing he also did the voice for the Brawndo ad.
That is part of the idiotic aspect. Plants do not crave electrolytes, yet the people are so sure that the advertising is true that they believe it, so they put it on their plants as well as drink it. In the future, water is only something that comes out of a toilet- why would you drink something that comes out of a toilet when you could have the drink that’s got electrolytes? After all, they’re what plants crave!
Powerthirst also available in Manana, Fizzbitch, and Gun! You’ll feel like a fighter jet made out of biceps! (Does not contain what plants crave. Or exist.)
I’ve never, ever tried one of those awful looking caffeine drinks, but I am a fan of the ones ThinkGeek markets, if only for their amusing names, such as Bawls and the apparently discontinued Whoopass! (Yes, it came in a can.)