Do you bribe your kids (or know of others who do) to get good grades, behave, etc., or is it something you expect them to do without rewards? If you don’t bribe/reward them, do you use something else?
Historically speaking, I’ve not used bribes/rewards in the past with the Hallgirls, and Hallboy is no exception to this. In the past year, the problem with Hallboy completing and turning in his homework has come to a head, so much so that he was literally flunking every single one of his classes simply because he wasn’t turning in his homework. This past semester I took away all of his electronic items (computer games, Game Cube, Gameboy) and he lost the opportunity to have sleep overs with his friends. The condition was that the electronics would stay packed up in the attic until the next marking period and if the grades were not B’s or higher, all of it would go.
Hallboy put forth a good effort, and this was reflected in his grades. His pre-algebra went from a high D to an A+ in one marking period. His other classes were B’s, with a few C’s thrown in, so I compromised. Still no sleepovers, and no electronics back, but they would remain in the attic until he pulled all grades up to B’s. (There was still an absence of turning in homework on his progress reports.) He has until next semester to pull everything up to at least a B.
It never crossed my mind to offer him money or anything else if he passed his classes. I’ve explained to him that going to work is MY job and going to school is HIS job, and that I expect him to get good grades, just like my boss expects me to do my work. I don’t do my work, I get fired. He doesn’t do is work, he looses priviledges.
But paying him for grades? No way.
Likewise, when the Hallkids were little, I expected them to behave themselves when we went out in public (like to eat). The first was a verbal warning. “Do we need to go to the Ladies Room?” --the Ladies Room is different than the Bathroom. The bathroom is the place one goes to potty, the Ladies Room (although located in the same room) is the place one goes when one is in trouble. The second was a trip to the Ladies Room for a “talking to”, that included a warning, “The next time we come in here, you will get a spank!” (which was a swat on the butt). I can think of only two times in a 23 year history of parenthood of three kids when I needed to take a child to the Ladies Room for the third time.