Brief Military Veteran Inputs.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

The eggs for omelets and scrambled eqqs come in a bag. It’s like Egg Beaters, but instead of a carton, it is a huge industrial-sized bag. It looks like this:

Funny Story:

I was on KP duty in basic training, and the drink dispenser ran out of orange juice. The drink dispensers are huge stainless steel things that look like this: http://a-zrestaurantequipment.com/images/products/used/18045.jpg
Inside of the dispensers are big bags of milk, chocalate milk, and orange juice. Yes, I said big bags (see where this is going?). The orange juice bag was a large see through bag of orange liquid with a little nozzle on the end that hooks up to the dispenser nozzle. Check out the picture of the egg bag again…
I learned the hard way that Army eggs come in bags! I went back to the walk-in fridge looking for an orange juice bag, and thought I found one. Getting the nozzles to line up proved to be a little difficult, but somehow I made it happen. And I made that shit work. By this time, a long line of thirsty Soldiers were waiting to get their serving of orange juice. One by one they filled their glasses and returned to their seats. By the time the fourth or fifth guy in line was filling his glass, the first two had already taken huge, thirsty gulps of theirs!

42

:: edges away from Ranger Jeff ::

43

QFT

44

I know in Boot Camp at Great Lakes in the cold of winter that many of us got sick and I was even hospitalized briefly. So I’m not buying the better meds theory.

The Chiefs run the Navy, though some officers think they do. Of course the Petty Officers do the actual work.

I understand the same is true in Marines and Army with Sgts in place of Chiefs.

Navy is of course an acronym. Never Again Volunteer Yourself.

Food varied a lot in the Navy. On carriers, for enlisted men it was pretty bad as cooking for 4000+ at a time. On small boys like Destroyers or Chief messes the food could be pretty good. Even on the carrier, our bake shop did a good job.

45

One job a Seaman Apprentice right out of basic might get on a CG cutter is Mess Cook. Yeah, it’s working in the galley under the supervision of the SS’s (Subsistence Specialists). Now, the CG has a pretty good system for the SS (I went through Instructor Training with a CPO and PO1 headed to the SS School). There are recipe cards with different amounts of ingredients depending on how many you have to feed that are pretty easy to follow.

So this one kid, and everyone had to say he meant well, but there was a black cloud hovering over him. He shows up, does his pot walloping and deck swabbing and he’s looking for something to do to keep busy. And he noticed in the cooling rack a couple of trays (like 11" x 14") of yellow cake. The pans are cool to the touch, so he figured he’d make up some chocolate frosting for them. So he pulled the card and drew the ingredients, mixed up some chocolate frosting and iced the cake. Right after he finished cleaning up from doing that the SS who was the baker wandered in. He looked around, checked out the frosted cakes and nodded approvingly and then, innocently asked, “Hey, have you seen where the cornbread I made got to?”

Sure, it was strange, but to give the poor kid his due, it was edible. The consensus was “I’ve had worse desserts here.”

46

Three years as an Army medic taught me that it can always suck more.

When packing for the field bring more socks than you think you’ll need, a bottle of your hot sauce of choice, lots of hand warmers, and lots of hand sanitizer. Use all of the above liberally.

Don’t be first, don’t be last, and try not to stand out.

Check yourself and your gear before you need it. Make sure you have everything you need, it works, and you know where it is.

If prostitution is legal wherever you are, and you solicit the services of a sex worker, pay her or suffer the consequences. To do otherwise is a good way to land in the hospital.

The worst circumstances can bring out the best in people, and you may be surprised by who turns out to be a leader, who’s not, and who works well with who under duress.

47

Condoms are useful if you like keeping things dry.

Maybe, there’s some country whose armed forces won’t use as aiming points those red crosses on a white background that medics/corpsmen/medevac vehicles are supposed to display, but don’t count on it.

You never need an extra grenade pin. Until you need one very badly. And a helmet band is a good place to keep it. Safety pins can come in handy also, but for different uses.

48

Never walk on the Sergeant Major’s grass.

49

When you’re assigned to Shore Patrol duty to target speeders on a Coast Guard base* , it’s really difficult to keep a straight face when the spouse of a LTJG or LT throws her husband’s rank in your face when you’re giving them a citation for speeding.

*Before the Coast Guard gave up Governor’s Island, it was the largest CG base, with 6,000 Coasties stationed or homeported there. The highest ranking officer there was a Vice Admiral.

50

Conventional wisdom says, “Never Volunteer for Anything.” But some of the most fun I had was on details I volunteered for, including the German Schutzenschnur.
Some of the smartest people I ever met were in uniform. Even the Army usually :rolleyes: managed to weed out the complete idiots (some slip through); the Marines take them and turn them into Terminators, while the Navy and Air Force have no use for them.
Biggest disappointment #1: I got assigned to Port Duty when deploying back from Saudi Arabia, and stayed an additional four months loading our Division equipment on various ships. By the time I got back to my unit, we’d had about an 80% turnover (Stop Loss ended, and lots of people ETS’s/PCS’d)
Biggest disappointment #2: I got to give a presentation on the M1A1 to some Air Force officers assigned to our Division. I even let them start the tank and drive it around (I was TC’ing, of course). I then gave them a “Tank Ride” with me driving balls-to-the wall (still safe-and-sane for the terrain).

They enjoyed it so much the AF Major in charge said he’d get me a check-ride in an F-16 (trainer version). My Battalion Commander nixed it, though.
It’s amazing the difference Leadership makes in a unit. Our DFAC in Bamberg, NCOIC MSG Sonny Ray, was award-winning, and always turned out fine-to-outstanding meals, whether they were in garrison, or in the field. The tank battalion across the street, with the exact same ingredients, turned out barely edible shit.
I got out of a speeding ticket at Ft. Hood, because the MP: 1) knew we were about to deploy to Saudi Arabia for Gulf War I; and 2) never saw an M1 crack 55 mph on a flat. The “party” of Battlaion Commander*, Battalion XO, Battalion S3, Battalion Maintenance Officer, Battalion Sergeant Major, Brigade Sergent Major, Company Commander, Company XO (and my TC), and Company First Sergeant waiting for me at the ammo point with that “we’re-going-to-have-a-little-chat-that-you’re-NOT-going-to-enjoy” look on all of their faces was less than fun. :eek:

But I (mostly) got out of that major ass-chewing for the same reason the MP let us go.
MRE “Mocha:” take one cocoa packet, one coffee packet, one creamer packet, and one sugar packet. Empty all packets into canteen cup, add hot water, stir. Enjoy!
My synopsis of my experience in Gulf War I: “Four months of volleyball in the middle of nowhere, followed by four weeks of moving up to and guarding the Saudi/Iraqi border, followed by four days of playing catch-up to VII Corps.”

*One Lieutenant Colonel, two Majors, two Captains, two Command Sergents Major, one 1st Lieutenant, one 1st Sergeant, versus little old me, an E-5 Sergeant.

51

“Nice Boat, Colonel!” is not the way to start a tour of a destroyer when you’re infantry.

  • Not my story but one of my coworkers who remustered from the RCR to the RCAF.
    Parking your car on the Chief’s parade square, even if it’s a long weekend, is frowned upon. And has you doing weekend duties, for a while.

If you know what to look for there are still uniforms in business life. They are just a little more subtle.

52

There’s no bigger pain in the ass than a spouse who thinks she wears her husband’s rank. Sorry, but no, you’re not cutting in front of me in line at the commissary because your husband is some dipshit LCDR (this actually happened to me).

The coolest spouse I knew was the base CO’s wife at one command, who, when asked by another spouse at a picnic who her husband was, replied “Oh, he works in the admin building.” :smiley:

53

The MP pulled over a TANK for speeding?

54

You can tell a lot about a person very quickly sometimes. I had a XO who did not mention all the great things he did before the Army. When pressed he would only say he went to a small college in upstate New York which went over most people’s heads. Whereas most Pointers made sure to wave their ring in your face. Subtly of course.

55

My mom once mistook a tub of leftover mashed potatoes for cheesecake batter. When formed over a crust, baked and garnished, it tasted better than you might expect!

56

:shrug: It was a paved road (the Motor Pool Road) with a 35 mph posted speed limit; it’s not like I was going to outrun him. Or shoot him, or run him over, etc.

57

Oh, I’m sure it was valid, I’ve just never heard of that, made me laugh :slight_smile:

Did you at least rotate the turret to point at the cop car?

58

20 years of Naval Aviation.

I have been to Italy, France, Spain, England, Scotland, Portugal, Germany, Poland, Lithuania, Latvia, Belgium, The Netherlands, Greece, Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Oman, Diego Garcia, Singapore, Hong Kong, Japan, Australia, the Phillippines, East Timor, and probably others I have forgotten by now. I lived in Iceland and Guam for two years each, as well as Florida, California, Mississippi, Maine, Virginia and Maryland.

I have slept on top of a pallet of tool boxes in the Hangar Bay of an Aircraft Carrier, I have slept inside an F/A-18 intake on the flight deck. I have slept in a tent in the desert, I have slept inside an H-60 helicopter, and I have slept in a rack so small that I could barely roll over in it.

And they actually paid me for all of it. Even when it was shitty, it was a unique experience, and I would not trade any of the shitty days for anything.

I have been retired for almost 3 years now, and I miss it. I still work around the same type of people as a contractor, but not being in uniform anymore, I am no longer one of them.

I am glad to be home with my family, but part of me still looks out at he ocean and longs to be part of it again.

59

Is it true that submariners get the best food in the military? I wonder what it’s like for submariners in other navies.

60

I concur on people being able to nap anywhere. At Ft. Bragg, we’d get into our chutes, pile into the C-130 or C-141, get into the web seats and then just sit there for the hour or so that the pilots take to fly their Nap-Of-the-Earth course to the drop zone. The giant, steaming boxcar would be bouncing up and down and people would be strapped in in barely endurable sitting positions and many of the guys would just nod off until it was time to stand up. I got pretty good at napping when I could but never then. It is an art form.