brightpenny, you're a loathesome bitch

[Excalibre]

@Banquet Bear

…really? I thought you were smarter than this. Excalibre said this:

He then proceeds to cheapen the actual pain experienced by victims of sexual assault by sending a private email to someone who probably is a victim of sexual assault with this humdinger of a line:

Yeah, I mocked what she said with sarcasm. I don’t see how you can compare my reference to her comment to her comment. That makes no sense. It’s not like I pulled that out of thin air - I made a sarcastic, specific reference to her comment.

…considering all of brightpenny’s “crimes,” did she really deserve that? Sure, she used the term “gang-rape”, which she apologised for. But do you think she is a “worthless fuck”? A “sickening, self-obsessed, shrill, shrieking harpy?” How the hell did we get to this point?

We got to that point with her manipulative threats to leave because everybody here was so mean, followed up with her comparing being (faintly) ganged up on with a gang rape, followed by (when me and a couple other people questioned that comparison) a graphic description of gang rape and calling us assholes for questioning it. She didn’t just make the comment, she stuck with it for a good long while, elaborating on it. It pissed me off.

Like I said, I was excessively harsh in the OP. And I did and do apologize to brightpenny for that - what she did didn’t merit my response. I’m sure she can forgive me, since her attacks on the rest of us in the GQ and ATMB threads were also out of proportion to what others said to her.

As much as you and others want to characterize the behaviour in that thread as “normal”, it was not. I can’t speak for other dopers on the board, but I found nothing wrong with brightpenny’s OP in the General Questions thread. It is still a question that essentially remains unanswered.

It was a weird question, and people pointed that out. That doesn’t mean it wouldn’t have gotten answered, either. People here have an impressive ability to dig up obscure information around here, and had she not derailed her own thread with her demands that people stop disagreeing with her, I bet you an answer would have happened. But a couple smartass remarks and she decided to throw a fit.

In fact, at first, the only answers were people questioning that any significant risk existed - while those were obviously WAGs, I don’t see why people’s guesses on that subject are out of line any more than people offering up their best guess in any GQ thread. She didn’t lose her shit at this point, but she sure started to lose perspective, coming back with, “Aside from just being argumentative, doesn’t this bother anyone but me?” It was her growing more and more shrill in response to people who didn’t share her concerns that turned that thread into a meltdown. It’s instructive to look carefully, and look at the comments from others that preceded each of her posts, and see whether those comments merited her responses. They didn’t. She progressively pulled that thread further and further into tantrum territory, and finally declared that she was leaving because everyone was so mean.

It is a thread in a board dedicated to fighting ignorance populated with unsubstantiated opinion. It is a thread where the participants “baited” the OP, implying she had phobia’s, she was mentally ill, that she was like “Howard Hughes” and should “live in a bubble.” brightpenny did nothing wrong, and if she had posted her question at a different time of the day it may have garnered different responses, and we wouldn’t be here right now. Instead, she posted at a time where a bunch of pricks decided not to take her seriously, and we stand to loose a potentially great Doper.

And had she not responded to people disagreeing with her concerns and making a couple smartass comments by throwing a fit, changing her location field to say she was leaving, and declaring that everyone was mean to her and she was leaving, she probably would have gotten as close to an answer as we could come up with. She derailed that GQ thread, not the rest of us.

The Dope is big enough to have people with thick-skin and thin-skin. This is the best message board out there on the internet (and I’ve lurked at most of 'em) : it has a strong moderating team, it doesn’t have too many forums, it has a single, overiding guiding principle: "Don’t be a jerk."

Yep.

The GQ thread was full of jerks.

Nope.

People have the opportunity to spend time in what forums they choose, Liberal no longer posts in the pit, and despite the years of venom that we have chronicled in this forum, there hasn’t been a complaint about him since he left. It’s normally easy to stay away from personal attacks on these boards, just keep out of the pit. The Dopers in the GQ thread skirted the edge of the rules and got what they wanted: this trainwreck of a thread.

You know, I don’t think this is fair. I don’t think anyone except her perceived those responses as grossly unfair, and I don’t think any of us would think so now had she not lost her shit in that thread. Two mods posted in it, and it apparently didn’t occur to either of them to tell people to quiet down, which shows that the thread was probably not out of line.

And we are here defending Brightpenny because, like you, we see this board as a community, and we feel that she belongs.

And I’m here because I didn’t think her repeated references to gang rape were cool. Even the most vicious pit thread here is not like a gang rape. By comparison, that thread wasn’t even like seeing a guy in tight pants. And despite getting every opportunity to calm down and back off, it took until forty-two posts into this thread for her to back off her claims that it was like gang rape.

[galt]

@Banquet Bear

We started the ATMB thread because we saw something we saw something that didn’t feel right and said so. And we are here defending Brightpenny because, like you, we see this board as a community, and we feel that she belongs.

For someone who doesn’t want to continue a pile-on, you seem like you’re practically begging for people to come in and offer these two cents: Brightpenny is a fucking moron if she thinks that the snarkiness in the original thread was abusive, and so are you. I’m not going to complain about rape being a sensitive subject that’s off-limits, I’m going to complain about the comparison being way fucking over the top. The same way it would be if she got ribbed a little and said she felt like she’d been beaten with a baseball bat until she was unconscious. Not only is rape nowhere near comparable to the “abuse” she received, but she didn’t even receive “abuse.” It was good-natured ribbing, and were it not, the fucking moderators who have been asked to review it numerous times would have said so. The “I feel like I’ve been gang raped” crap is a complete exaggeration so she can play the victim and demonize those making fun of her all at the same time.

And this sentiment is so common among dopers that it turned into an official pile-on, which requires someone to be crucified for starting the whole mess.

At times, I have thought “loathesome bitch” was too strong, but I’ve decided it’s actually applicable to someone who makes up stories about how horribly they were treated by others.

[Starving_Artist]

@Excalibre

And despite getting every opportunity to calm down and back off, it took until forty-two posts into this thread for her to back off her claims that it was like gang rape.

She was probably either aghast at the fact that someone would so stupidly take her comment so literally (something I think was disingenuous in the first place, and was instead merely a pretense for you to try to build yourself up at someone else’s expense, a proclivity you’ve shown for as long as I’ve been aware of you here), or she was justifiably reluctant to enter the snake pit of a thread that this was at the time, given that she clearly doesn’t relish the type of interaction that goes on here.

And a hell of a lot of good her apology did once she made it!

Even after she apologized and in a subsequent post asked for everyone to please let the thread die, she continued to be the subject of the disgusting orgy of abuse that was being heaped upon her.

As lissener said, you (and the others of your ilk here) smelled fear and weakness, and like a pack of wolves with weak and wounded prey, you and the others proceeded to savage her with a visciousness I’ve never before seen here directed toward someone who so clearly had no stomach for it.

You are a hateful and spiteful person, and an eager attack dog when it comes to someone you perceive as weaker than you or that you feel you have some sort of moral or intellectual superiority to. And even now, after you allege to have recognized that you went overboard and have apologized, you still try to put the blame on brightpenny and you have the gall to speak of having been treated ‘unfairly’ yourself here by those who have so rightly spoken up on her behalf. What a laugh!

There is something wrong with you, Excalibre. It’s a shame because you are an intelligent and educated guy and you could be an exceediingly valuable poster around here. But sadly, you’re a fucking prick and that’s what the rest of us have to tolerate whenever you’re around.

[Ogre]

As lissener said, you (and the others of your ilk here) smelled fear…

“Someone save me! The basement-dwelling internet dweebs are after me! They’ll tear me to pieces with their gently barbed comments!”

Give me a break.

[Starving_Artist]

@Ogre

Give me a break.

Certainly. Arm, leg or neck?

[Starving_Artist]

:d

[What_Exit]

@Ogre

“Someone save me! The basement-dwelling internet dweebs are after me! They’ll tear me to pieces with their gently barbed comments!”

Give me a break.

I am not even sure who you are mocking, but damn thats some funny stuff.

Jim

[Nic2004]

In post #56, brightpenny says

here we go again. please. just. leave. me. alone.

a board rule says no harrassment, which i assumed included emails referring to rape. you all get to object to the use of rape but I don’t. I get it now.

let this die. please.

Bolding Mine

This is now over 200 posts. The behaviour here has be despicable. I agree with those that have pointed out the shamefulness of this feeding frenzy. Her gaffe was a fairly minor one for which she has answered for in terms greater than the offence would justify.
If there is a scrap of maturity and sensitivity in you, let this drop as she has asked.

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

@Starving Artist

:d

:dubious:

?

[Starving_Artist]

@EddyTeddyFreddy

:dubious:

?

Don’t know what happened there, but thanks.

[Ogre]

@Starving Artist

Certainly. Arm, leg or neck?

Please, mister scary internet man! Don’t ravage my limbs with your Cheezy Puffs-stained fingers and breathe Dr. Pepper fumes down my delicate widdle neck!

Honestly, this thread isn’t even about brightpenny anymore. It’s about all the vaporish blushing violets around here who think they should be immune to the board culture.

[Starving_Artist]

@Ogre

Honestly, this thread isn’t even about brightpenny anymore. It’s about all the vaporish blushing violets around here who think they should be immune to the board culture.

No; it’s about assholes and the way they act.

(Assholes are everywhere, too. Just look in the nearest mirror and you’ll see what I mean.)

[Ogre]

Just look in the nearest mirror and you’ll see what I mean.

See? Now that’s board culture. But if Ihad said that to brightpenny, one of you Don Quixote’s would have charged up on your white stallion to protest in the stongest possible terms my ignoble treatment of the laaaaaaaaaaady.

Yawn.

[Nic2004]

@Ogre

<snip> who think they should be immune to the board culture.

Or lack thereof

[TheLoadedDog]

Excalibre, a simple question for you…

Since you so obviously fancy yourself the latest Pit Lord, ruling it over a perceived environment where snark=wit and any unwillingness to be anything less than as vile as possible is equated to weakness, I’m wondering…

Would you say any of this shit in real life? In a bar maybe?

No?

Didn’t think so.

[Good_Egg]

@Nic2004

In post #56, brightpenny says
Bolding Mine

This is now over 200 posts. The behaviour here has be despicable. I agree with those that have pointed out the shamefulness of this feeding frenzy. Her gaffe was a fairly minor one for which she has answered for in terms greater than the offence would justify.
If there is a scrap of maturity and sensitivity in you, let this drop as she has asked.

Have you no shame, senator?

[Kalhoun]

All those who think brightpenny is “mentally ill” might want to get in touch with their own respective shrinks. They’re the ones who need “thicker skins.”

I don’t give a shit what your life experience is. If you can’t handle reading the words “gang rape” without turning into crazed dogs on a feeding frenzy, you’re the ones whose mental health should be questioned. Her intent was clear to any reasonable, semi-literate person. Maybe she didn’t whip out the book of *Acceptable and Politically Correct Straight Dope Similies * before she posted. It doesn’t fucking matter. Your predatory behavior in this thread is indefensible.

(Note to self: Never use the phrases “beat up at work” or “fucked at the tax office”. Certainly someone who’s experienced either or both will swoop down and tell me how insensitive I’m being. *“You’re mean! I really WAS beat up once!” * or *“My sister’s friend was…” * :rolleyes: )

You all need to take a good look in the mirror and decide if that’s the person you really want to be.

[WhyNot]

Great Jehosophat, Kalhoun! She wasn’t being metaphorical! She was being very, very literal, and came back several times to tell us that, no, she *literally *did mean that internet rudeness (and yes, I’ll admit it was rude) really was just like being gang raped, with people getting meaner and meaner!

Gang rape as metaphor? Questionable. Distasteful, IMHO.

Gang rape as literal description of a message board interaction? Ridiculous. Insulting. Bullshit.

[cosmosdan]

Wow this thread is still going on? How fun.

Here’s my 2 cents.

Yes Brightpenny overreacted, made a bad choice in making a comparison and comitted a worse crime by then defending it. In fine SDMB tradition it is correct to tell her so in a smart ass fashion.

This thread however and the use of loathesome bitch, shows Excalibre to be a hypocritical jackass. So you critisize a newer member for overreacting and useing an inappropriate term by doing…exactly the same thing. What a prick.

The same goes for those of you who chimed in to tell Brightpenny to get the fuck out. Jackasses.

[Kalhoun]

@WhyNot

Great Jehosophat, Kalhoun! She wasn’t being metaphorical! She was being very, very literal, and came back several times to tell us that, no, she *literally *did mean that internet rudeness (and yes, I’ll admit it was rude) really was just like being gang raped, with people getting meaner and meaner!

Gang rape as metaphor? Questionable. Distasteful, IMHO.

Gang rape as literal description of a message board interaction? Ridiculous. Insulting. Bullshit.

Well, when I look at what she said, from this quote on the first page of this thread…

Quote:
Originally Posted by brightpenny
It felt like a gang rape. I really thought of this place as my home community and didn’t deserve to be treated this way. I was meeting some really special friends here, and now I’ve lost that. I couldn’t believe that much of the behavior was by Charter Members, as if it was condoned or encouraged.
And when some of us questioned whether it was really comparable to gang rape, she said this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by brightpenny
Have either of you experienced gang rape? Been alone in the center of a circle of men who begin by tossing out comments, increasingly bold as they feed off each other, embolden each other with their own power displays? No one is around to stop it before it becomes something uglier. Yah, it reminded me of that. Assholes.

I still don’t see this as a literal interpretation of what she originally said. There’s just no way I read this as a statement of her getting the feeling of re-living an actual gang rape. To me, she’s referring to the taunting, the mob mentality and the general feeling of being on the bottom a dog-pile. The *verbal * aspect of a rape. Not the physical act of penetration by a group of men. Particularly the part where she says *“no one is around to stop it **before it becomes something uglier.” ** *

There are degrees of intimidation, both physical and emotional. She may have a lower threshhold for intimidation than most people. But I’ll tell ya…if you want to talk low threshholds, take a look at the people here who said that these printed words were such an affront to them that she’s nothing more than something they want to scrape off their shoe. That, to me, is ridiculous, insulting and bullshit.