Deal. BTW, this whole calamari thing has gotten out of control, won’t someone please think of the cephalopods?
Oh, we’re thinking of them, alright.
twitch
Welcome Madd Maxx! I’m just a few miles to the west of you, thankfully uphill and upwind of the lovely little town that is most famous for smelling like a gym locker on a summer day. 
You’re in a good spot for doper activities-close enough to Philly for that action, and blessed with access to highways for hanging out with the Bmore/DC/NoVa MAD contingent.
Come to think of it, we’re getting enough central PA dopers to think about mini-fests on a Friday night or such. Hmmm. Methinks a thread would be in order once everyone has recovered from their figgy pudding, ho hoing and stuff.
Again, welcome. You may now carry on with your goats, dyed testicles, and squiddy doings. 
Oh, that’s it!
grabs detop and pulls him/her/it into the pot for a few hours
lift lid of pot
Hey Sunspace, if you want some target practice before tackling TM, you might try this . I would do it myself, but it is more likely that the end result would be this or even this
closes lid again
:: Sunspace looks at pot containing Tentacle Monster and detop ::
Oh wow, man.
:: attaches sign: "If this pot is rockin’, don’t bother knockin’ " ::
:: ducks and runs ::
flees with Sunspace
stops How you doin’?
continues fleeing
coming from the closed pot
I want to be
Under the sea
In an octopus garden
In the shade
kicks detop out of the pot, which is by now covered in goo
Hmmpf, in the words of the great American philosopher “You know this means war !”
gets a 50 gallon (imperial) drum of tempura, a cast iron skillet, 2 kg of lemon, 4 kg of butter, 30 garlic buds, no, make that 60 buds, and a large gas range
sniff sniff
What smells so good here?
Fried Tentacle Monster in a light tempura batter with garlic butter. Oh drats ! I fried the calamari instead ! Do you want some ?
You… fried… the calamari?!!
I had just gotten it to recognise me!
Sorry about that. It’s not that easy to see the difference between 80 kgs of calamari and 80 kgs of TM.
Don’t sulk Sunspace. I know I ate your pets (they were tasty BTW, especially with a nice white Bordeaux, but I disgress). I decided to take a page from Hal Briston’s book and create a RoboSquid[sup]TM[/sup]Patent pending that looks like this . I never seem to remember if they have testicles or tentacles, so I provided them with an equal set of each. You should receive it shortly (complete with user manual and remote control). Keep in mind tho that it is a prototype. Please report any problem encountered. In the meantime, I asked Scandinavian Dopers to send you a Kraken or two, while I will go to St-John, Newfoundland to try to get an Architeuthys for you.
RoboSquid?
Robot. Water.
I sense a problem. And I’m not going near that vat until we can get the power shut off again. That sizzling noise is a little too disturbing.
Somedays I’m glad I’m allergic to shellfish. Like today for example. I pity the next batch of newbie initiates. RoboSquid indeed. What happened to the gentle caress of tentacles across a … nevermind.
Strange, it worked fine for me when I tested it before mailing it to you.
Did you do the start up sequence as recommended by the user manual, if yes, is TM still in the pot ? Could he have sabotaged it, you know, or maybe RoboSquid[sup]TM[/sup]Patent pending has gone in overdrive dealing with him ?
wonders past
Ooooo, calamari.
snatches one, wonders over to go check on what’s in the pot
:snickers evilly as Achren wanders over to the pot, gets at a safe distance to watch the fun: