“A land untouched by modern dentistry!”
There There Dear, Mustn’t Grumble
I voted for We Apologize for the Inconvenience. As my only time spent on the sceptered isle has been at Heathrow, you damn well should!
Leave us be logical about this. Great Britain consists of England, Scotland, and Wales. Therefore, the ideal motto would be a combination of the three existing mottos.
England: " Dieu et mon Droit " (French: ‘God and my right’).
Scotland: " Nemo Me Impune Lacessit " (Latin: ‘No One Assails Me With Impunity.’)
Wales: " Cymru am byth " (Klingon: ‘Wales Forever’)
Clearly, the motto of Great Britain should be: “No God Assails My Right To Forever Impugn Wales.”
I’m quite fond of “Smile, you’re on CCTV!”
But in what language?
“What’s all this, then?”
“Britain: The Home of Old Queens.”
“Land of Harry Potter and Blood Pudding.”
“We call it ‘Old Blighty.’ You’ll call it ‘that foggy place.’”
Doesn’t matter, so long as it’s obviously not English. Mandarin? Greek? Swahili? It’s all good.
“Britain: 90% less gay since Quentin Crisp died.”
Don’t worry, plenty of Americans follow your lead in this sacred charge and beloved hobby. 
I liked the “Try writing history without us”.
Maybe the new motto should be tourist related. “Britain, come see the real Shire.”
Nah, that would only grab a subset of geeks.
Jim
Tits out for the lads
Please queue here.
And now for something completely different. Britain.
“Yes, we do boil everything.”
“Mind the Gap.”
No, wait, they use that on the subway in Toronto as well. Dang. Um…
“Kidneys really are food?”
“The UK: If you can read this, it’s touched your life already.”
They randomize the order of display. But I assume you’re talking about “We apologize for the inconvenience.”
They were talking about this on NPR a few weeks ago. One of the suggestions that they mentioned was my favorite:
English and Scottish and Welsh, oh my!
When I was a young Brit, we conquered the world and we LIKED it!