First time posting in ages!
Ok this isn’t meant to be a rant just a gentle poke in the direction of the british men I’ve dated, flirted with, and admired from afar ever since moving here last February.
Gents! I love those accents, the metrosexual way you dress (for the London professionals) and even the questionable body odour of some of you but for goodness sake! Get some balls! I am so sick of having to make the first, second, third and 86th moves. I know you are interested so why are you hanging back??
The feedback I get is that North American girls are too aggressive. Really?? I am fairly reserved in general but I have had to be forward to get anywhere with you blokes. And when I say forward I mean asking them out for tea/coffee. Whoa, I’d better calm down, eh? Sorry for scaring you with my sexually intimidating canadian prowess.
Yeah, I hate generalizing but it was a common complaint amongst my american mates i made over here. There is definitely something being lost in the translation. Is there some subtle british way of flirtation I don’t quite understand yet? I’m just sick of always being the one putting myself out there. C’mon guys, you can’t all be that chicken.
You see, this here is your problem. Those southern namby-pambies wouldn’t know what to do with a woman if you gave them a fifty pound note and a book on how to do it! You need to get yourself a northern man… mmm Yorkshirelicious…
I went out on a first date tonight with a brit. We met online and I asked him out, fine. I ended up having to decide when and where cause he kept saying whenever was good for me. We ended up walking the streets of London for ages-with me picking the streets we walked down. I picked both pubs we stopped in and the restuarant. Finally at the end we got on the Tube…he sat opposite me and not beside me. Then he shook my hand instead of kissing me. I was like…ok can take a hint. I get home and I have a text from him. Something along the lines of “it was nice meeting you but if you’d rather not see me again I understand”. EH? I messaged back telling him I had no idea if he even had a good time since he was so reserved. He apologised and said he would like to see me again and then promised to be more decisive. Anyhoo…I’m just so tired of having to do all the work, not sure how long this will last but I’ll give him a chance.
From what you have described, I don’t see them as any different from American men! It’s been awhile, but when I was dating–very few men took “charge”. The ones who did seemed to be somewhat predatory (not in the nicest of ways, either).
I mean, I’ve never had a guy who chased me and wooed me and all that. (pause here for a short cryfest. Better now). They seemed to have presented themselves and I suppose the thought process is, “there’s my part done.”
I would hope some decision making on the part of the male would occur at some point (and I hate doing all the work, too), but these things must be handled delicately. Perhaps he is diffident out of courtesy to you. Maybe you have stunned him with your beauty, brains and talent and he is shocked into silence, not believing his good luck!
Or…maybe he’s a wanker (I believe that is the correct term) or you so completely offended him that he needs therapy at this point. Who can say? Probably not even him!
At least you both have another shot, so to speak. Try not saying anything-let him lead the conversation.
This should lead to about 20 minutes of awkward silence, followed by a"might rain soon"from him…“yes, I’d heard that-rain in UK in Jan. Yes, well.” and some throat clearing.
Maybe you should do some drugs before you go out…
So the complaint here is that you have to take the initiative more than these British fellows do in order for something to happen?
I take it, then, that you had to make the initial approach online? Or did you both end up in a “chat room” with no one else present or something? You had to be the one to suggest going out… you specifically mentioned having to pick the places, as well as pick which streets to roam. I take it you hadn’t kissed him either as of the time he went to shake your hand?
Meanwhile, unless you PM’d him first, gotta give him credit for initiating contact post-date, that counts as initiative. Did he miss where you asked him out for a second date? Well, OK, it was kind of his turn at that point. From his message, sounds like he was under the impression you didn’t have much interest in seeing him again. You suppose he’s writing to some message board somewhere, saying he went out with this nice Canadian girl but she didn’t make even a subtle pass at him so how is he to know if she liked him or was bored out of her tree?
I would’ve kissed him at the end if he hadn’t stuck his hand out. To be fair the tube is a crap place to say goodbye as the door is only open for 15 seconds or whatever but a quick kiss would’ve fit in there.
I could give credit for initiating contact first but it was in a wimpy way (via text). His message made me think that as well which was puzzling cause I was very engaging and asked him loads about himself that made him tell stories and anecdotes. I’m certainly not that great a flirter but I genuinely felt I was giving off a good vibe.
I could be wrong though and I don’t mean to sound so whinging just a poke as I said…and maybe there is a thread entitled “Canadian girls! Honestly…” on www.repressedbritishmen.co.uk.