Bruckheimer's "King Arthur"

Well, shit.

Clive Owen as Arthur? Directed by Antoine Fuqua (Training Day)? Music by Hans Zimmer? Produced by – wince – Jerry Bruckheimer?

Like First Knight wasn’t enough of a butchery of my favorite legend, this doesn’t look even that promising. I’ll likely give it a shot anyway, just because it purports to be Arthurian, but just based on the casting and the crew (not to mention the fact that it doesn’t seem to be based on any particular source material), my expectations are pretty damn low. Like, at the bottom of the Pit of Ultimate Peril, low.

Why is it that Hollywood can’t conjure up a decent Arthurian movie?

As far as I’m concerned there has been, is, and always will be only one good–nay, great–Arthurian movie: John Boorman’s Excalibur.

Though that one is better than most, it still doesn’t pass muster for me. I think it’s all the shiny plate armor the characters wear throughout the film – even in the scene when Uther is having sex with Igraine! She’s naked, and he’s still fully armored. That’s got to chafe!

I’ve yet to see a great Arthurian film, though Excalibur might be the best among a few good ones.

I used to believe that Jerry Bruckheimer’s success was the result of a deal with the devil. But Robert Johnson’s deal with the devil actually made him talented, so that would tend to discredit that theory.