She sez “It’s not my butt, it’s the top of my thigh, in the back!”
Sorry girl, that’s yer butt.
I knew something was amiss. She’s been sitting kinda gingerly for a few days.
A lump appeared in her leggings this morning. I asked, appropriately, “What’s that lump on yer butt?” She said again, “It’s not my BUTT, but if you must know it’s an ice pack”
I asked what the matter was. She shows me. OM freakin’ God!! Biggest ugliest purple/black carbuncle I’ve ever seen, on her BUTT. Lowest possible place to call it butt, but…you know, Her butt.
I might have screamed a little. I know I said “Girl you got bubonic Plague or something!!”
Didn’t this women go to nursing school? Don’t she supposed to know about this stuff?
I asked her what was she doing for it. She said ice til it breaks.
No no no no. It’s gonna spew filth, disease and contamination on a piece of my furniture or nice floors. Nope.
I told her to tape a giant thick bandage on it or sit on the potty til it bursts. And her giant butt boil won’t kill any body. Or else!!
So I told everyone here about Ivy’s big bubonic butt boil.
She ain’t happy with me. But
But(hehe), everyone googled home remedies.
The Lil’wrekker seems to have hit on Witch Hazel on a cotton ball. Holding it on there for a few. ??? Luckily we are well supplied with witch hazel.
Well we heard screeching from the bathroom.
She came out with a red face and a curse on her lips.
I told her I was sorry her butt hurt.
She sez “It ain’t my BUTT!”
(I quietly said “girl you wrong, it’s your butt”)
I just don’t know why I put up with my employee cursing me in this manner.
It’s not bubonic plague. Although it’s good you have it as part of your vocabulary since there are so many wild things all around you.
Ivy has a good, old-fashioned boil or carbuncle in her lower quadrant. If you want to get fancy, it’s an abscess. The staph germs that regularly live on our skin occasionally crawl down a hair follicle and set up housekeeping. It’s warm, damp, and they get excited like folks do at a Chinese buffet.
Then you get a boil. You can get one almost anywhere on your body, but the travel brochures the staph germs pick up feature luxury accommodations on the part that went over the fence last.
I recommend hot packs, as hot as you can stand them. Then send someone to the drugstore to talk to the pharmacist about the best drawing salve they stock. My mother had some nasty stuff that looked like melted road tar. But boy, howdy, 24 hours of that stuff got that boil to bust open and drain freely.
When Ivy can’t face another hot pack, put a thickly-padded dressing on the boil (old clean t-shirts are wonderful for this) and tape securely with medical tape.
It will be a big, stinkin’ mess when it finally pops. Use Betadine or peroxide to clean it up, then put a new pad back over the area. It will probably continue to drain for a few more days.
Wouldn’t the buboes of bubonic plague be placed in the groin, not in the vicinity of the behind? As far as I know they are swollen lymph nodes.
I feel bad for Ivy. Pain when sitting down plus probably fever and headache isn’t fun.
Sounds like icthammol drawing salve. Be very careful not to get it mixed up with “black salve” products that contain corrosive ingredients–those are actively dangerous.
Thank you! I will look for ichthammol. I figured Momma’s drawing salve had gone the way of merthiolate. Do you happen to know about a purple chest poultice that was probably made of kaolin clay?
“Black salve” is NASTY stuff. It is advertised to get rid of skin cancer, but all it really does is eat holes in your face.
Definitely get her to either an urgent care or ER first thing in the morning, even if one of the bigger Wreks has to hog-tie her and sling her over his shoulder. Absolutely, positively, with out fail, first thing in the morning.
Having a furuncle and/or carbuncle is one thing (and a very aggravating thing at that) but once you start to be feverish and feeling ill, you’re tempting systemic infection from said carbuncle, which can lead to sepsis, which is very scary. People die of sepsis, sometimes even if they get it treated. Feverish and ill is not to be messed with.
Let us know what they say. We’ll be waiting with bated breath.
You didn’t do anything that they’ll scold her about. Just don’t try to pop it, lance it or squeeze it at home-that could send pure infection right into her bloodstream-resist popping and squeezing, this ain’t no high school pimple before the big dance. Resist, resist, resist at all costs.
