Is the Robert Young character acquainted with the nuclear safety inspector?
Huh, all these quaint, nice, colorful little burgs, mines the only one that I see in my mind as basically in a gray scale color scheme. I wonder what that says about me.
Anyway, this is fun, lets hear some more, towns, details etc.
How did your town get started, when, why that location?
Chu’ Diafthorá was started beside a river that supplied the bartending misanthrope with water for his brewery way back in 1847. It was intended to be a waypoint on the route west but most wagon trains bypassed it for the easier crossing 20 miles north.
In a desperate bid to keep his struggling business going, Ed established a brothel in order to attract cattle drovers taking their herds to the yards. This too was a failure as the town was too centrally located between the major cities or on the wrong side of the river. The brewery was burned down by a disgruntled working girl from the brothel. Ed rebuilt, a distillery this time, and began shipping his wares out. Gradually growing larger and hiring more workers the town of Chu’ Diafthorá slowly came fully into being. During the prohibition era, Ed Jr. stayed in business making root beer, ginger ale and sacramental wine for churches. He also smuggled booze to the speak easies in Denver and Kansas City. This led to the eventual take over of the distillery and brewery by The Corporation, an organized crime outfit, forcing Ed Jr. Into early retirement, in the bahamas, for his health. Eventually the bar was sold, the brewery closed and remodeled as the biggest cathouse in the country. The Corporation moved into money laundering, keeping the redlight district as a small change decoy for the feds. You know how you used to get rebates for stuff sometimes? Send in your reciept and get a check for 45 cents or something like that? All those checks go through a bank in my town, with companies moving large amounts of money in and out daily. This bank is owned by The Corporation and is where they do the money laundering. They don’t allow drugs, well a little pot, but that’s all. They also give a pension to every cop, firefighter and veteran who was born there who gets disabled on the job. They try to maintain a middle of the road “invisible” profile for the town so as to avoid unwanter attention from the FBI, or snyone else for that matter.
Chu’-town has that annual rock festival. Debauchery and mayhem spilling out into the countryside. The overflow in Becktown is complained about at all townhall meetings. Right up until money is deposted in banks. Town leaders look the other way, knowing the tourist trade may be keeping Becktown afloat. And we have those nice new sidewalks around town.
At the water tower some party-hardy folks climbed up and graffiti-ed some unfortunate epitaphs that are proving hard to cover up. But other than that we enjoy the tax revenue from Chu’-towns burning Dog festival.
Party on!!
Hey, just trying to be good neighbors ya know? Besides, kids! Uh? Ya know whadimean? Uh? Hey, at least they ain’t no drugs harder than a little pot! (Hey, ain’t that what we all want really? Sit around, feeling a little happy, maybe pat a few bottoms, watch the kids play?) Yeah, you maybe don’t know this, but The Corporation, they don’t allow none of that crap. One of our boys or girls is found to be using that stuff or even lettin the booze or hemp get outta control, they gets rehabilitated, with a quickness. You remember that little dust up a few years back? Some udda new folks got shot? A few houses got burned down? Yeah that was some Jamaican run shit show tryin ta muscle into the area. Theres a reason The Corporation pays a pension to alla those cops and firefighters and vets, other than the goodness of their hearts and love of country I mean. Some of 'em are less disabled than others, if you get my drift.
Oh yeah, don’t forget the community college Beck. I mean Chu’ Diafthorá may ne hard tough little industrial town, but that don’t mean the folks don’t want better for their kids and most of them end up starting at least in your community college.
I laughed way too hard at this.