I’ve encountered a new concept for hunters: HECS (Human Energy Concealment System), a set of long johns with carbon fiber interweave. Theoretically, this blocks the bio- electromagnetic emissions that, supposedly, animals can sense; predator and prey alike. A fuck-off Faraday cage
An augmentation would be a charcoal lining like that sold in flatulence-shield undergarments. I had a warrant officer in the Navy who’d give off a sudden stink when angered, like a tomcat’s butt glands. Since enragement is a secretion of the flight hormone epinephrine in even greater quantities than the fight hormone norepinephrine, it stands to reason that any strong reaction to threat, anger or fear alike, only excites and invites attack.
And finally, Zeligwear. Smartpixels in the weave determine your geographic location and reconfigure its appearance to the dominant sports team’s jersey
I’m down for investing in Zeligwear, but with a caveat: It needs to have a quick audio guide to provide the wearer with enough trivia to sound like they know reasonable things about the team.
As an added bonus, you could offer a premium service that offers pub-quiz-winning bits of trivia. I’ll narrate for a modest cut of the profits.
You don’t need that. Just say things like “Man did you see that last touchdown.” and “man those refs suck” and “man what did you think of that one play? That was something!” and let them fill in the blanks. If all goes well, you won’t have to say anything further than “yeah!”, “you’re right!” and “that sucks” for the rest of the conversation.
Living in Wisconsin, I’ve learned to say “Man, those Packers…” in a perfect balance of awe and frustration. Luckily both emotions entail a slow shake of the head.
Invariably, the listener hears what they want to and fills in with “I know, man! They’ve really gotten their offense going after that first game!” or “I know, man… that secondary has got to step up.”
Luckily, I don’t have hockey fan friends, but I’ve found that “Can you believe that officiating?” works for most sports. Then I get to sit back and be entertained by a red-faced diatribe against every single official/umpire/referee that was ever born.
Many years ago I was visiting a friend in Zanesville, Ohio which is an hour from Columbus. I had on a sweat shirt given to me by a girlfriend which had the Michigan logo. Friend asks me, “Are you going to wear that in public”? I think he wanted to stay well away from me if I did. I coulda used that Zeligwear!