Bulwer-Lytton would be proud or ...

[Zyada]

Now I remember why I don’t pick up random romances any more. This probably could have gone in Café Society, but I don’t see this as actually qualifying as literature. Or even entertainment. Besides which, it’s something mundane and pointless I wanted to share.

Yes I am reading a romance novel. It had promise, I like the general plot idea. But, oy, the writing:

Before he could catch himself, Duncan swore. The furious words of an oft-muttered oath tumbled from his lips as if they had a mind of their own. A black and hearty epithet that would have sent his most fearsome foes scrambling for cover.

His manhood, the most intimate part of himself which he’d just hoped to proudly display to his new bride, to woo her, to seduce her with his manliness and prowess, had let him down. Disgraced, embarrassed, and shamed him by shrinking before her very eyes.

emphasis is the author’s

:snort: The whole friggin’ book is like that, except for the approximately 10 paragraphs which actually move the plot forward.

I swear, most of the romances I read are much better written.

[Zenster]

Let’s see;

“I’m reading this trashy romance novel and the writing is just so… so, er… trashy!”

Well, knock me down with a feather at this unhearlded turn of events.

[Zyada]

Darling Zenster…

I have read romance novels that are well written, even to the point of being quotable. I have read romances that had amazing insight on the human condition. I’ve read romances that are funny because the author intended them to be funny. I’ve read trashy romances that were so hot I got horny just reading them. I’ve also read romances that were mediocre, and even badly written. But this was a new low in overwrought purple prose.

And I thought that it would amuse y’all. That was the point.

[Zenster]

Thanks for the clarification.

I suppose that I too often immediately associate romance novels with Barbara Fartland and her ilk. Besides, anything that makes a dame hot for the old four poster is all right by me.

[Guinastasia]

Oh MAN!!!

I LOVE Cheesy Romance Novels. The descriptions alone are worth it:

He wouldn’t be deterred. His fingers stroked the tender folds. When he felt the wetness there, he almost lost his control…His finger slowly penetrated her, then stretched up inside…His tongue teased the sensitive nub of flesh, then pressed high into the soft, slick opening.

:eek:

[GrandfatherTrout]

*Originally posted by Zenster *
And your point is?

This is MPSIMS. Does she need one?

[JonScribe]

That ain’t a romance novel. That’s from Penthouse Forum.

[Zyada]

But that’s the beauty of trashy novels, Jon. I can buy one at Barnes and Noble, then read it at a nice family restaurant, and no one pays me any mind. Try that with Penthouse Forum.

But I’m halfway through this one and we haven’t had even a kiss yet. Just a lot of angst-ridden ogling. :pout:

…she’d unwittingly exposed the triangle of lush red-gold curls between her thighs. Bathed in moonglow, the core of her womanhood, cleft and all, was clearly visible, every sweetly pouting fold sharply illuminated by the moon’s silvery light.

[Zyada]

Must remember to be careful how I pout.

[Zenster]

*Originally posted by Zyada *
**Must remember to be careful how I pout. **

Well, you could go with your own reading matter and “sweetly pout” instead.

[Tansu]

Damn you, folds of the core of my womanhood, can’t you at least pout sweetly?